10 сентября, 2020 - Expat in Kaliningrad, Russia

This is the captain of your ship ….

Published: 10 September 2020

“Wokey, Wokey!!” No, that can’t be right. Sorry Nigel, what was that? “A bunch of metro-liberals …” and? Sorry, I can’t hear you. I’m being shouted down by a rabble of Extinct Liberals. Wait whilst I close the window. Ahh that’s better. Thank heavens I paid the extra £33,000 and had Everest fitted.

The question I wanted to ask before I was so rudely deplatformed was, what was Billy Cotton’s TV show catchphrase? Oh, it was ‘Wakey, Wakey!!’

OK, so the next question is not so much whatever is happening in the UK but who is letting it happen? I knew I should never have left the country when it needed me, but I had no idea that the government left as well?

10 Downing Street is anyone at home?

Putting aside for the moment that the coronavirus crisis was placed in the hands of the Arse & Elbow Committee, we have seen Churchill’s statue and the Cenotaph vandalised, public statues chucked hither and thither, Black Laughs Matter rampaging through the streets virtually unchallenged and unchecked, Extinction Rebellion blocking newspaper printing presses … If the government is not responsible for giving the loony left a hall pass, who is? Now look here Mr S ….

But such decline is not without its humorous side. Take the Mail Online’s article ‘Furious row over appointment of Tony Abbot …’ An indepth analysis of the accusation that Tony Abbot is a transgressor of all PCisms. He is a ‘misogynist, he is sexist and a climate change denier’, so something from up North claims. Forget the fact that he has secured significant trade deals for the UK. Here is a man (that will work against him to be sure!) who had he a statue would be well advised to strap on its lifebelt quickly. But wait a moment, wasn’t the left’s anti-Brexit campaign almost entirely predicated on economic repercussions? Mind you, race, sexism and gender issues have always been Labour’s safety net. If in doubt, denounce it about. After all, the last thing leftist opponents to Brexit want to see are those good old trade deals coming in thick and fast.

British universities get a Phd in Predictability

On the BLM front the ball keeps rolling and gathering, er, snow. News is that British Universities are falling over themselves to issue solidarity statements. No news is good news and there is no news here. As everybody knows, the British education system is an industrial canning factory for liberal-left hobby horses.

The silver lining is that whilst we are young we tend to read The Guardian but later, when we leave university, when life becomes just that bit more real, and we have jobs to keep, houses to buy, children to look after, mortgages to pay, we wake (present tense of woke) up and suddenly find ourselves becoming more and more conservative, until we finally reach the stage where we are reading The Daily Mail. Well, you know what they say about liberalism, it is like a bad case of acne: some grow out of it and some are scarred for life.

It must matter to someone … surely?

Top of the amusement pops has to be the announcement by a young, black, female activist, a BLM leader, that she is planning to form the first black-led political party in Britain. Allegedly, whitey will be excluded from leadership roles and there has been some suggestion on Twatter of white enslavement. Someone should advise this young lady that the UK does not end at Lewisham and that if she intends to all-aboard the UK political bandwagon the first thing she needs to learn is the art of concealing her party’s true intentions behind a smoke and mirrors manifesto.

As for taking control of the country by the political route, all I can say is good luck with that one. Nobody else has ever pulled it off. And my advice to anyone attempting it, short of don’t bother, is if you ever clear the starting blocks watch out for that last minute election hurdle, the old ‘don’t throw your Labour or Conservative vote away on a small party’ trick. It works for the old two-party combo every time. As for slavery, I thought we were already slaves ~ slaves to political correctness. Time for a quick burst of the Rule Britannias!

It’s a funny old world, innit!

At this point I suck my teeth ~ that is one solidarity I learnt years ago ~ and it should stand me in good stead as we also learn that in the United States out of ‘respeck’ the most important association for teaching English in higher education has adopted the resolution that black students can ditch ‘standard English’ and focus exclusively on ‘Black language’ instead. I know I am now referring to the good old US of A, but as we saw with the BLM riots things tend to skim across the pond these days a good deal faster than they used to. It’s enough to make ‘me eddy at me’ (which is, to you, ‘make my head hurt’).

And finally (if only it was), again in the USA, but you can buy it in the UK through Amazon, is the latest solidarity act in the form of a new book called In Defense of Looting. No, this is not me attempting to be satirical. Like a man accused by the left as being unsuitable for the role of UK trade envoy, even though he has already secured ‘huge trade deals’, because he is ‘sexist’ and has said some naughty things, this book and the rest of the madness is actually, really out there, which only goes to show that if nothing at all else matters Political Correctness most assuredly does.