Coronavirus new symptom - Expat in Kaliningrad, Russia

Coronavirus & the Fear of Conservatism ~ but whose fear is it?

Published: 16 August 2020

Pinch me, wake me up, please tell me that I have been dreaming. I will not go so far as to say that the BBC has plumbed new depths of depravity, but could we say stupidity? Once renowned for its incisive journalism, for producing some of the finest English historical dramas ever to cross the airwaves, not to mention some of the finest comedies, the beeb has allowed itself to become so completely enslaved to the revisionism and foppery of liberalism and its politically correct mantra that it is fast becoming a parody of their worst excesses. Consider this article, if you will: ‘The fear of coronavirus is changing our psychology’.

There now follows a series of quotes, please look away if you are not up for a giggle:

“Due to some deeply evolved responses to disease, fears of contagion lead us to become more conformist and tribalistic, and less accepting of eccentricity. Our moral judgements become harsher and our social attitudes more conservative when considering issues such as immigration or sexual freedom and equality. Daily reminders of disease may even sway our political affiliations.” {Oh no, Ha! Ha!}

“The recent reports of increased xenophobia and racism may already be the first sign of this” {Ha! Ha! Ha!}

“In the same study, a reminder to wash their hands led participants to be more judgemental of unconventional sexual behaviours. They were less forgiving of a woman who was said to masturbate while holding her childhood teddy bear, for example, or a couple who had sex in the bed of one of their grandmothers”. {Ha! Ha! He! He! Others, Its and all … er, and so what?}

“… the threat of disease can also lead us be more distrustful of strangers. That’s bad news if you’re dating.” {… guffaw! and good news if you are not as cautious as you should be}

“… it can result in prejudice and xenophobia … fear of disease can influence people’s attitudes to immigration.” {snort, well, yes?}

Where’s Michael Palin when you need him! Oh yes, most likely virtue-signalling by calling for a new politically correct design for the Most Distinguished Order of St Michael and St George. We’ll press on without him.

At one level, the nonsense in this article is reassuring, for instance you may have been labouring under the false apprehension that your conservative view on the world and the renewed trust placed in less ‘eccentricity’ and more social and moral stability is the onset of coronavirus itself (one of those media-alleged new symptoms) or alternatively has been brought about by me, in Kaliningrad, hacking into your juice blender.

No connection, but as for the sex bit, I would think that your lust affair with your teddy bear, Action Man model or Obama doll is your business, and as for grandma’s bed, well it is the same as gay parades, it is all very colourful, isn’t it, but do we really have to applaud every time?

As for strangers, generation upon generation of grandpops and grandmas (all suspicious about ‘whose been sleeping in my bed’ (wasn’t that something to do with teddy bears? Or did that happen at their picnic?) have been warning the young about the dangers of strangers ~ “If you go down to the woods today you’ll be in for a big surprise …” ~ there you are, it’s those teddy bears again! Admittedly, it is not good for dating, and we no longer have Cilla Black to reassure us it is all safe fun.

And what about, “Extra! Extra! Read all about it! Fear of coronavirus ‘can result in prejudice and xenophobia … fear of disease can influence people’s attitudes to immigration’”.

Presumably, when in lockdown you would welcome the chance to see more people, is not that the reason why when lockdown was eased hordes of Brits, both legacy and in name only, threw away their masks like women’s libbers of old discarding their burnt bras, and shooting off to Skeggy and Brighton for the day, showed the world, whilst showing themselves up, just how tolerant they were to every piece of space invasion. The same could be said about Brit attitudes to immigration, unless of course you realise that the country is over-populated, that the NHS cannot cope and as the economy is at the lowest ebb it has been for years there is little sense in encouraging thousands of illegals to land upon these shores and put them up for free in Kent hotels. But then that’s not xenophobia, that is common sense.

So, we can see from this article that the definitive message is do not worry about catching coronavirus and feeling ill, do not worry about catching coronavirus and feeling very ill, do not worry about catching coronavirus and it killing you, the main concern is that the fear of coronavirus may wake you up from the PC nightmare inflicted upon you for the past 30 years and make you want life to be normal again ~ a return to Britain the way it was.

Rest assured, this is not your fear, but the fear of it happening is sure terrifying someone.

Quick, bring on the ‘vaccine’!!

Coronavirus & the Fear of Conservatism — **You’ll just have to wait until you’ve had the vaccine!**

Coronavirus warning: Speech impediment could be new dastardly coronavirus symptom

Published: 20 April 2020

Scientists on holiday in Brightlingsea say a number of people who have not been tested for anything could have a speech impediment together with other indicators, although some will have no symptoms whatsoever, which could make them very suspicious ~ if not of everybody else, at least of themselves.

Along with other indications, such as a sore throat, cough, high temperature, a nasty rash, hives, breathlessness, a pain in the neck and almost everywhere else, sore feet, rings through your nose, tatts, loss of taste, smell and your wallet in Peckham, The Twice-Daily Recorder previously reported that Peter Horn from Scunthorpe had a verruca on his foot and a ‘fizzing sensation’ in his Andrew’s Liver Salts.

Coronavirus New Speech Symptom

The impediment, which is accompanied by a bitter taste in the mouth and an ardent wish that you had not bought their newspaper, been on Google, checked your emails, seen social media or got out of bed until it was all over, is characterised by a pathological urge to babble. A spokesother for Chas & Dave colloquially referred to the symptom as ‘rabbit’, with those affected and affecting intelligence rabbiting on about new symptoms, no symptoms, police states, totalitarianism, and, in the case of one man with a name like Queer Stammer, making false promises (again) about what his party will do for the health service.

Queer, who is Chairman of Exit Strategy UK, and has an alarming amount of likeminded people behind him ~ right behind him! ~ is demanding that the virus pack it in. In a moment of pure perspicacity, “Enough’s enough,” he said, and is calling for a ‘People’s Vote’ ~ a referendum on whether we should leave the house or not whilst telling the virus it has gone far enough. It is thought that Vexit will take place as soon as they have worked out how to rig the electronic voting system.

Whilst this latest symptom ~ mindless babbling ~ seems to be concentrated among media employees and second-rate celebs, the WHAT (World Health Absolutely Trumped) was about to report (but now cannot afford the printing ink) that a virus might happen soon, but is not saying WHEN (World Health Eventually Never).

A new coronavirus symptom is getting drunk whilst wearing a silly hat in lockdown ~ or it might just be the onset of insanity
(Photo credit: Museums Victoria on Unsplash)

Boot on the other foot ~ could this be a new symptom?

An interesting but none the less disturbing permutation of this symptom is the UK media’s hysteria that each time senior ministers in the government open their mouths they are not putting their foot in it nearly as often as they would like. One media group, The Onguardism, (which always write its headlines in advance, according to the old policy of making news instead of reporting it) has this to say: BoJo’s Pandemic Policy Hampered by Foot and Mouth, but since it has not happened as scheduled they have simply decided that they will put the boot in at every opportunity.

A vaccine against this contagious nonsense could be ready as early as September, with a betting shop in Oxford giving it an 80 to 1 chance, and the British media saying on Mondays to Wednesdays that ‘it will take at least two years to develop’ and on Thursdays to Saturdays ‘it will never happen’ and on Sundays (when, unless you are The Independent, you have a very big newspaper to fill) a series of in-depth analytical pieces over several pull-out supplements will tell you nowt but come in very handy when your stockpiled bog paper runs out sometime in 2025 ~ and there’s a clue?

And if you do not have this latest symptom, do not worry, the British media is desperately searching for one that is tailored made for you.

In Mondays sizzling, action-packed The Twice-Daily Recorder, which is out on Thursday, we make up the latest symptom of the sexist, ageist, racist coronavirus and ask the tantalising question, have you got an underclothing illness due to baked beans and Brussels sprouts?

This article represents the views of our inhouse expert Billy Bullshitter and any resemblance to you is purely coincidental ~ or is it?