Mick Hart expat Kaliningrad - Expat in Kaliningrad, Russia

Western Snactions turn McDonald’s in Russia into Vkusno i tochka

Published: 22 June 2022 ~ McDonald’s restaurants in Russia reopen under new name

Whilst the UK media hovers indecisively over what to replace its run of good fortune with, as interest in and editorial enthusiasm wanes for Ukraine ~ in the past two weeks there has been a flitting back and forth from woke stories about schools no longer allowing boys to wear skirts (have I got that wrong?) and hopes that a new strain of coronavirus may see the swift return of lockdowns, masks and vaccinations ~ Russia has been celebrating the replacement of the McDonald’s chain of restaurants with the inauguration of its home-grown version.

🍔McDonald’s, which had been selling burgers in Russia for more than 30 years, switched off its friers and suspended its business shortly after the start of the Russian special operation in Ukraine before griddling off into the sunset. For some, the loss of McDonald’s in Russia was palpable.

Speaking entirely for myself, McDonald’s, or rather the fanfare that surrounds McDonald’s, has always been a mystery to me. In my day, old McDonald had a farm, not a burger bar. Or was that McDonald’s father?🍔🍔You probably won’t believe this but until the launch of Russia’s McDonald’s and the publicity it has generated, I had no idea what a powerhouse of Americanism McDonald’s was. To me it was up there, or down there, depending upon your point of view, with Wimpy, KFC, Little Chef, Burger King and the rest, all lumped together under the ‘frie’s’ umbrella, poor colonial-cousin substitutes for good old English chips and the good old English chip shops via which they are purveyed. Give me a portion of proper, thick-cut, chunky English chips any day than those itty-bitty American fries, that was my motto! In fact, it was the word ‘fries’ that actually did it for me in the sense of not doing it for me at all. Nothing in the world of fried foods, especially chips, has ever been the same since my brother rebranded chips and by extension British cafes with the decidedly unflattering nom de guerre ‘fatty fries’. However, as a patriot, resolutely opposed to continental affectations in all walks of English life, especially the realm of grub, words in fancy dress such as the now ubiquitous ‘French fries’ are pure anathema to me.

Another reason for avoiding McDiddles was possibly my conversion at a relatively early age to vegetarianism and a delicate constitution in the guts department. Given these two influential factors you can probably understand how blown-up images of Big Macs and Triple Cheeseburgers with an extra portion of fries on the side and a generous helping of onion rings had me longing for a lettuce leaf and reaching for the Gaviscon.

My apologies to die-hard McDonald’s fans:

*From childhood’s hour I have not been
As others were—I have not seen
As others saw—I could not bring
My passions from a common spring—

*Edgar Allan Poe’s Alone (How much more Alone would he have felt had McDonald’s existed in his time and then like life itself ceased to be?)

With McDonald’s exit stage west, you would have thought that here was the perfect opportunity for Russia to turn off Americanisation and surge ahead with a nationwide chain of resturants selling wholesome, healthy, traditional Russian nosh. Obviously, there is no such thing in Russia as McDonald’s-phobia.

Conversely, a Russian equivalent of McDonald’s working in the West would have been tarred and feathered by now, which rather proves the point that there really is no Russian analogue to the West’s anti-Russian hysteria.

McDonald’s restaurants in Russia reopen under new name

In the absence of a McDonald’s phobia and facetiousness aside, I do understand both the historical and symbolic significance to Russia of the McDonald’s take-over.

When the first McDonald’s restaurant opened in Moscow on 31 January 1990, for some it must have seemed like the ultimate stamp of the American invasion but to others, to a new, western-enthused generation, it must have embodied the hopes if not of a brand-new beginning, then at least of a new Brand-named beginning.

What I did not know was that the first McDonald’s restaurant which opened in Pushkinskaya Square (Bolshaya Bronnaya Street, 29) Moscow in early 1990 lays claim to being the most frequented McDonald’s restaurant in the world. It is said that in its 30 years of existence it catered literally for more than 140 million patrons¹.

Whilst the McDonald’s empire is a hegemonic feat of fast-foot globalism, the ability to fill its big Yankee boots in a few short weeks is a success story in its own right. It is little short of amazing that they, a consortium consisting of the Moscow government, federal authorities and the business community¹, managed to take on the abandoned McDonald’s empire, rebrand, refit, restructure and rescue it in the time it would take for me to say, could I have a veggie burger please?

The 850 former McDonald’s outlets spanning 62 regions of Russia will open at a pace of 50~80 restaurants a week under the new Russian name of Vkusno i tochka (‘Tasty and that’s it’ or ‘Delicious full stop’), says the new owner, Alexander Govor². A timely intevention that will not only re-establish the fast-food market in Russia and navigate its new course but also secure employment for thousands of people across the country.

When you take into consideration that the special military operation in Ukraine commenced a few weeks ago, on 24 February 2022, during which period the West has subjected Russia to economic warfare on an unprecedented scale, the transformation of a moribund McDonald’s into the rebranded Vkusno i tochka stands in testimony to the resourcefulness, resilience and ability to endure, which Russia as a nation has adroitely exhibited throughout its challenging history.

In stark contrast, I think it will be a long time if possibly not an eternity before I can procure equivalent success in the UK with Mick Hart’s McBorschkee’s chain of restaurants. Until then, its back to peeling spuds and heating lard for the chip van.