Published: 5 February 2021 ~ How Russophobia makes the West look Silly
Have you noticed how anti-Russian hysteria whipped up by the UK media comes in waves? It is rather like a bad case of diarrhoea, very often brought on by something uncomfortable happening on the home front which swiftly requires some form of diversion.
Why is the West so Silly?
A couple of years ago, the UK media’s Russophobia ramp-up preoccupied itself with the terrors that Brits would face if they travelled to Russia for the World Cup, Dr Salisbury and the Mysterious Case of the Skripals, watch out there are hackers about, and the omnipotent cyber power that Russia is said to possess which enables it to steal into one’s sub-conscious and influence the way one votes, from Brexit or not-to-Brexit to presidential elections. Incidentally, how does this work? Here I am committed to vote Remain in the Brexit referendum. I read something on social media, purported to have been written by someone from a foreign power, telling me to vote the opposite way. Bingo, I’ll vote to Leave!! I mean, would you? Do you? Does it …? Or, in the United States: I am going to vote for the Democrats. I always vote for them. I don’t know why, perhaps it’s because my mum does. She’s very PC and cannot have enough ‘isms’ in her life. But wait a moment, I have just read something that has told me to vote for Trump! Right, Trump it is.
I’ve just had a word with our cat, Ginger, about this, and all he can say is ‘give me some grub or let me scratch and bite you’. And then he rolled over and purred.
Nevertheless, such was the panic engendered by this media-created long arm of the Russian state, even longer than the famous long arm of the British law, that my mother was convinced that when she woke up one morning and found that the wheelie bin had gone that it must be the Russians who’d dun it!
Sputnik V romps home
I can see that you are not comfortable with the diarrohea metaphor, so let’s try another. How about a militaristic one, in which there are major battles and random cases of sniping?
For example, when the Russian vaccine Sputnik V was announced last year as the world’s first coronavirus vaccine, it sparked nothing short of a full-scale war in the West’s mainstream and science journal media.
Examples of Headline News in the West
Experts Raise Alarm As Putin Says Russia Has Approved World’s First Covid-19 Vaccine
Russia approves Sputnik V Covid vaccine despite testing safety concerns
We have no idea if the Russian Covid vaccine is safe or effective
Russia’s Fast-Track Coronavirus Vaccine Draws Outrage over Safety
Russia is spreading lies about Covid vaccines, says UK military chief
UK ‘95% sure’ Russian hackers tried to steal coronavirus vaccine research (Who wrote this one? Was it ‘Highly Likely’ Theresa May?)
It began politely enough, with the odd shot or two fired at the vaccine’s validity based on scientific testing protocols, but soon escalated into the bellicose language that we have come to expect in the Coronavirus & Cyber Cold War era, with accusations of disinformation, misinformation, no information and, yep you’ve got it, hacking.
As the first salvos gradually diminished, the sniping continued sporadically until, on 2 February 2021, The Lancet, an esteemed British medical journal, published the results from a phase 3 trial of the Sputnik V Covid-19 vaccine in an article headlined ‘Sputnik V COVID-19 vaccine candidate appears safe and effective’. On the same day, the BBC ran this article, ‘Russia’s Sputnik V vaccine has 92% efficacy in trial’, in which, in recognition of the unjust way in which Russia had been treated, it was quoted that “we should be more careful about being overly critical about other countries’ vaccine designs.”
A muted apology but an apology all the same.
It was quite obvious, and therefore understandable, that with western mainstream media using the phrase ‘vaccine race’ freely from the outset to dramatise research efforts to develop a Covid vaccine, that considerable pique would follow when on entering the race, which was pretty much a closed affair, Russia left its western ‘competitors’ standing, pipping them at the post before they had time to pip.
Of course, the US and Brit government will never forgive Russia for coming first in their race, apart from the loss of prestige there is all that globalist vaccine money to think of, but they are doing their utmost to detract from it by focusing instead on selectively publishing photographs taken of street protests recently staged in Russian cities.
I asked my dear and well-informed friend, Lord Wollocks, what he thought about this:
“Deflection technique. A bit embarrassing for the West of late. Lots of civil disorder. Last thing that they want [in the UK or the States] are their people looking in the direction of the former USSR and saying, ‘my word but things look a lot more civilised over there’, especially if they make the not-so quantum leap from a land blighted by coronavirus mishandling and BLM riots to one which holds unswayable store on conservative norms and family values.”
And off went Wollocks, to make a cup of tea.
No one, not even Lord Wollocks, made any connection between the good visual copy of street protests elsewhere coinciding with Biden coming to power, but that was possibly because if all else fails there is always this little bit of land, Kaliningrad and its region, at which to level one’s sites.
A rather Silly case of Russophobia
Western media has a never abating obsession for what it calls the strategic military importance of Russia’s westernmost outpost. In the past 10 years it has been in and out of the press more times than something attending a gender reassignment surgery which cannot quite make up its mind. On one hand, Kaliningrad has a ‘taste for western Europe’, on the other, it has a lot of clout for resisting western Europe, but should there be nothing more to snipe at Kaliningrad makes a convenient target.
Wait a mo! If I was going to nip into someone else’s backyard and switch off the dog so that my mates could rush in behind me and claim squatters’ rights, why would I want to tell the owners of the yard what I was going to do? Whatever happened to secrets? More to the point, what do spies and military generals put on their CVs when they are seeking alternative employment?
I mentioned this news report to a Russian friend of mine as we were standing in the supermarket trying to decide which brand of vodka to buy. I said, “Analysts say Poland could win Russia-NATO war by invading Kaliningrad and securing Moscow’s nukes.” “Really,” he said, raising an eyebrow. He thought for a moment, scratched his head and then asked, solemnly, “So, which vodka is it to be?”
Important to Keep in Touch During Coronavirus Christmas ~ Cheer them up with a card and personal letter!
Published: 17 November 2020
So, what I have been doing for the past week? Did news that they had installed a Democrat in the White House appall me so much that I have not been able to focus and write? No, even stranger than that, I have been busy writing my Christmas cards ~ either a case of there’s forward planning for you, or its time he invested in a new calendar.
Nothing quite as spectacular. I have been writing cards to folks back home, to friends and family in the UK, and cognizant of the fact that the post from Kaliningrad to England is not exactly the 21st centuries’ answer to a hypersonic version of Pony Express, I hope to have mailed them in good time.
Another reason for planning ahead is that every year I include a ‘brief’ note with my card. This has become as traditional as Christmas dinner, party hats, Christmas crackers and auntie Ivy turning Christmas day into a rugby scrum as she insists on clawing open everybody else’s presents.
Important to keep in touch during coronavirus Christmas
My Christmas letter has become such an important element of the annual Christmas ritual that its up there with seasonal sayings like ‘just what I always wanted’, when it is quite obvious that you didn’t (I mean, who in his right mind would wear a jumper like that, and when did your gran lust after a WWII German tin helmet (or even a WWII German in a tin helmet?)) ~ and ‘Oh, you shouldn’t have!”, when you obviously didn’t: that’s the aftershave you were given by someone last year and which you personally would not touch with a barge pole and neither would anyone else. Mind you it makes the perfect Christmas present for social distancing.
The thing about my Christmas letters is that although you have to state out loud at UK post offices these days what you have in your ‘packet’ ~ and my letters are known for being rather bulky, so they always ask ~ they always get through, even though sometimes I cannot resist answering, at first in a whisper, “It’s an inflatable doll,” and then, in response to the lady behind the counter urging me to ‘speak up’, to call out stridently, “It’s an inflatable doll,” so that everyone can hear (you should try this sometime, it really is fun!).
No stopping those Christmas letters
Yes, my letters always get through. Like Reader’s Digest junk mail, electricity and gas bills, even if the Post Office had been sold to China (what’s that, oh, it has been) and my letters rerouted via the M25, carried in the pocket of a young thief travelling on a skateboard during rush-hour, my letters always get through.
They zip past defiled statues, hoody-wearing muggers on handbag-stealing mopeds and bearded men burning poppies. They cruise through ganja-stenched knife-secreted carnivals, through nice areas deprived by people. As slippery as Hope not Hate, they riot their way down Looting Street, defying all manner of social distancing, lockdowns and Tiers for fears and, before you can say Hoorah for Brexit or Joe Biden is as honest as Clinton, they sail up your drive, through your letter box and plummet onto your doormat quicker than the stink from a suspect scientific claim.
They are so popular, my Yuletide missives, that family and friends leave home for them, and come back after Christmas ~ a long while after Christmas. Some people board up their letter boxes, others disguise them as something intimate in such a way that were you to insert a letter through them, you’d have the neighbours shout ‘pervert!’. Some teach their dogs to savage them, and others, those with ‘Beware of the Cat’ on their doors, train their feline friends to hide them under the Christmas tree ~ and scrape the soil back over.
One year my brother shoved his letter under the mistletoe, prompting his gay friend to say that he would rather kiss his own arse. He is a lonely guy, but no worries, he is double-jointed and quite the contortionist.
Selfish people, those who stockpiled toilet rolls when they heard the word pandemic, convert them into paper hats and hide the Christmas crackers for pulling on their own when they think no one is looking. Ahh, but someone is always looking, especially in these days of essential travel only. Do they really think that they can get away with it?
“Where are you going in that Support Bubble Car?”
“I am a victim of self-isolation and social distancing, officer. I am shunning all that I have ever known and all those that know me, even those who have tried to lose me, give me away or pretend that I don’t exist, such as my mother. I am going somewhere where they can’t track and trace me, and there, in the privacy of somebody else’s Tier 1 home, I will hide from the world and pull my Christmas cracker.”
“Very well,” says the Social Distancing Marshall, “but no laughing at the joke inside the cracker, mind. This is no time to be enjoying life, and don’t forget to wear your mask.”
Sorry, that was uncalled for.
“Hello, I think I may have coronavirus. I have been trying to telephone the hospital for the past three hours and nobody has answered.”
“Sorry, the hospital is as full as boatload of migrants from France. Wait a moment. Oh, it is a boat load of migrants from France. Please hang yourself. I mean hang up and try the Samarlians.”
The Samarlians ~ a not-for-profit organization that will talk you out of the ‘easy way out’:
Answer machine: “Hello, you have reached the end of your tether. I am sorry, due to a high volume of excuses about coronavirus we are unable to take your call at the moment, please leave your name and telephone number and you will never hear from us again. You might like to waste what remains of your life by visiting our website, goingaroundincircles.con, where you can often never find what it is you want to know using our FAQ Offs ~ Frequently Asked Questions Offline ~ alternatively, you will find the end of the line at your nearest Midland Mainline Station.”
Once, all you had to do was press Button A to be connected and Button B to get your money back. Now ‘you have the following options’, more numbers than the National Lottery and about the same chance of winning.
What my coronavirus Christmas letters mean to the recipients
Rumour has it that carol singers have written songs based on the contents of my Christmas letters and sold the rights to Leonard Cohen.
Christmas vicars have read them out in their sermons and have been summarily excommunicated.
Edgar Allan Poe, who essentially travelled by TARDIS, was inspired to write The Masque of the Red Death having read my treatise ‘Lockdown ~ the most effective life saver since leaches’.
Important to Keep in Touch During Coronavirus Christmas {See end of article for image credit*}
My letters have tweaked the ears of statesmen, tickled the underbelly of boat-owning philanthropists and have sunk a thousand ships, or would have if I had my way ~ where is my letter to Sir Francis Drake?
Napoleon stuck his arm up his vest after reading one of my letters, and what would Lord Nelson have asked Hardy to do for him had he read my letter before someone shot him first?
Thank heavens Adolf burnt his letter!
As for ordinary mortals, some wrap their present to auntie Joan in them and still others wrap them around uncle Martin’s chestnuts, who would otherwise lose them on Christmas morn as he struggles to adjust his mighty pendulums attached to his very large grandfather’s clock (thank the Lord for Spell Check!).
Looking forward to my letters
People look forward to my letters so much that they ‘wish it could be Christmas every day”. One day they will write a song about it and play it every year with depressing regularity.
This year they are all busy singing to, ‘So this is Christmas and what have you done. Sat in self-isolation it isn’t much fun.” I know, let’s open one of Mick’s Christmas letters and cheer ourselves up (gunshot off stage).
My letters have a sentimental and emotional appeal. They are up there, tugging at the heart strings like that old romantic Christmas Carol, who your mother caught your father with (also Christmas Connie, Christmas Christine and Christmas Cordelia, well, Christmas comes but once a year).
Ahh, the old ones are the best (Connie was 73).
Lovely old Christmas carols
What memories these well-known carols:
“Drug King Wenceslas looked out from his boat to Dover
When the snow is not found out we’ll roll the UK over
Brightly shone the hotel sign, the waiting bus was free
It was worth the trip through several countries and across the sea, He! He!”
And do you remember this one:
“Away in a 4-star I don’t pay for my bed, the tax-payer in England pays for it instead …”
And how could you possibly forget:
“Twinkle, Twinkle celeb star who the F..K do you think you are?
Pontificating up on high?
Spreading all those EU lies.
Twinkle, Twinkle talentless star paid too much, too much by far”
NOW, WHO DOESN’T DESERVE A CHRISTMAS LETTER FROM ME? (Important to Keep in Touch During Coronavirus Christmas)
Dear old Christmas Carol, one of Charles Dickens’ favourites. This will be the one year that Ebenezer Scrooge will be looking forward to a visit from the ghosts of Christmas Past, anything has to be better than Father Boris’s Christmas Present.
Important to Keep in Touch During Coronavirus Christmas
Although it is very important to keep in touch during a coronavirus Christmas, I don’t as a rule send the prime minister a Christmas letter, besides he will be far too busy this year reading and listening to fairy tales from the Brothers Grimm. Chris Witty and Sir Patrick Vallance, sorry I don’t know them ~ and neither do you, but there is a sort of chemistry there. It reminds me of that Chad Valley Junior Scientists set I was given at Christmas a long while ago. As I recall, it was a very disappointing present, all smoke and mirrors, bits missing, as incomplete as a Liberal manifesto and it had a very funny smell about it, something slightly fishy.
Send them a Christmas letter? I would not give them the steam off my turkey. What I do like to do, however, is spice up my Christmas offerings with the odd anecdote from Christmases past.
“Please, pretty please do tell us one.”
Well, all right, if you beg nicely.
Once upon a time, long ago, when England was really England, I worked part time as a waiter. I was young once, and in those days I was a teenager. These were the bad old days, before teenagers became entitled and were able to live at home with mum until their 45th birthday (you can ~ could? ~ always take a loan).
Teenagers in those days were not deprived as they are today. They were lucky, in that they did not have the internet from which to plagiarise articles to pass their exams with and, without keyboards and computers, they had the fun of writing all of their essays out by hand, correcting them by hand and then rewriting them by hand for presentation. This meant that they had less time for anything else, which was good, because there were no smartphones in those days and nothing to twiddle on, no Twatter, Arsebook, Snapcrap and the like. Instead, after school teenagers went out and worked.
I worked at the Talbot Hotel in Oundleshire, a very prestigious establishment, with a long history dating back to Elizabethan times and with a staircase that was said to have come from Fotheringay Castle where Mary Queen of Scots lost her head and on which staircase I almost lost my job for telling two old ladies that Mary was always looking for it in the rooms that they had paid for.
It was a posh place, the Talbot of Oundle, and still is. Standards were high. We had to wear black trousers, white shirt, cummerbund, little white pointed tail jackets and a black dicky bow. We looked like clockwork penguins. We were always well turned out, apart from one person whose flies were never done up, as if, we suspected, by no fault of accident.
It was three days before Christmas, us well turned out and him with his flies undone, that we were called to wait upon a very important table, several tables in fact containing the governors and alumni from Oundle’s prestigious public schools.
I had two salvers: one with Christmas seasoning and the other containing peas on my arm.
Several of we waiters moved along in single file serving our guests of honour. And then it came to her.
She was gorgeous, stunning, wearing a low-cut dress. She had the most diaphanous orbs you could ever imagine ~ yes, her eyes were beautiful. Mesmerised by love, or something that starts with ‘L’ and has the same number of letters, I leant over her and with the seasoning in my hand, asked:
“Would you like stuffing madam?”
The timing could not have been more perfect. Hardly had I realised that I should have used the word ‘seasoning’ than my waiter friend at the side of me, my pal, my very good pal, gave a purposeful nudge to my elbow and off went a spoonful of peas straight down the lady’s cleavage.
Talk about Captain Kirk’s ‘Space, the final frontier’!
And really, what did it sound like: “Madam, can I help you?” As she is reaching down inside, red faced and all a fluster, for those penetrative peas.
Sounds like something out of a Carry On film? How about Carry on Down the Cleavage? Rather that than Carry on Down the Pandemic.
Important to Keep in Touch During Coronavirus Christmas
But what has this got to do with it being very important to keep in touch during coronavirus Christmas? I confess, I have digressed, when my real intention for writing this piece was to say how nice, affectionate and charming Russian Christmas cards are. Different again to the crass and vulgar things that they churn out in the UK.
Every year in the UK, Christmas cards get bigger, which is a problem for my family and friends, for it means that instead of a ‘short’ letter I can really go to town and insert a tome like War & Peace. But British Christmas cards do not just get bigger they become more vulgar each year. In keeping with declining moral standards, smutty innuendo ~which is as traditional as laxatives on Boxing Day ~ has given way to images of a semi-pornographic nature and to captions laced with obscenity. It is enough to make you lie and say that Rubber Band has comedic talent!
How much nicer these traditional Russian cards are. They remind me of the sentimental cards that were produced in wartime England ~ soft, delicate, romantic and affectionate
Of course, they are not really Christmas cards as such, as this is an Orthodox Christian country, and Christmas is celebrated on 7th January. No, these are, for the sake of accuracy, Happy New Year cards ~Snovam Gordams.
Snovam Gordam (Happy New Year!) I shouted that last year on the stroke of midnight. You did too? Really?
Hmmm, we’d better shout twice as loud this year, as I don’t think He was listening.
By the way, sorry if you did not receive my Christmas card and letter.
Illustration for Edgar Allan Poe’s Masque of the Red Death (Image credit: Harry Clarke – Printed in Edgar Allan Poe'sTales of Mystery and Imagination, 1919., Public Domain, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=2348546)
Pubs and homes made illegal in four new coronavirus regions including Beatlesville
Health Secretry Mel Hotcock announced emergency lockdown changes for Beatlesville, Whoreington, Hilterpool and Mindlessborough as loss of common sense continues to surge
Health Secretry Mel Hotcock announced today that if you don’t live together, then you can’t mix together. From one minute past half-past three today, give or take thirty seconds, non-mixing, other than between consenting mixers in the same home, will be legally banned from mixing ~ which includes cakes and cement ~ in private homes, private gardens or indoor venues in the afore-named regions. Mixing in communal areas, on street corners, in air balloons, on the side of the Great North Road, or anywhere else where the police can’t catch you and fine you 200 quid, has been cited as a jolly good alternative to everyone moving in together and mixing willy-nilly.
Beatlesville and Whoreington already have laws in place to prevent people meeting in private homes, which has led to a lot of crowded doorsteps, and there is strict guidance about meeting in pubs and restaurants, although this has not affected the ‘lonely guy’ who sits on his own in the corner.
So, how does it work?
Do you really expect an answer?!
Offenders face £200 on-the-spot fines, which is bad news for exhibitionists who like to keep their curtains open. However, people who share a bubble car or have childcare needs are exempt, as are schools and workplaces, as it has been scientifically proven that coronavirus only targets non-home mixers and people in pubs and restaurants in groups of more than six.
However, mixing in parks or beer gardens, whilst breaking guidance but not the law, is acceptable, as long as there is only six of you. What to do with the seventh is not clear but will suit some who are having an affair and want to get rid of the wife or return to those good old days at school where bullying by exclusion is a veritable institution. No government advice has been forthcoming about getting into beer gardens if going to pubs is made illegal, but by parachute is not illegal providing you drop in no more than six at a time. Anymore will break guidance rules but not necessarily the law.
Not attending sports matches is recommended, and no more than six players are allowed on the field at any one time, providing that they are living together and observing the one-metre distancing rule. {The FA, RFU and England and Wales Cricket Board were all available for comment, but we simply dare not publish what they had to say. Here is a hint: the FA said FA, the RFU said FU and the England and Wales Cricket Board cried middle wicket and bails.}
Mixing in pubs & home illegal
Good news! You can visit care homes, but only in ‘exceptional circumstances’ (whatever they are?) but take care not to break ‘non-essential’ travel rules. If you must travel then it is possibly best not to, unless you are a celeb whose star is fading fast and is desperate for publicity, whether good or bad. Of course, travelling to work or school 60 to a bus, or packed like sardines in a rail carriage, is quite permissible.
Stop press (and mixing!): We understand that local authorities in the four areas effected will be given £7 million, but we have not been told why? Do they know something we don’t? And who is going on holiday?
A Labour MP for Mindlessborough made a completely silly statement about mixing being the ‘root cause’ of everything ~ and no one listened to him, and probably won’t vote for him again. And the mayor of Mindlessborough, smitten suddenly by what the Daily Shunter described as another mysterious symptom of coronavirus, told the government to go and do one.
The introduction of a new ‘traffic light’ system, whilst it may not have the slightest chance of ending the confusion, will, it is confidently believed, add substantially to the confusion that already exists, and, besides, it just sounds good.
The three tier system, which will be applied to towns and cities according to all sorts of things — ie tier 1 very tight restrictions; tier 2 not so tight restrictions; tier 3 restrictions about as tight as a pair of pants with no elastic — have come under fire from people who just don’t get it ~ or haven’t got it yet ~ with Liebour questioning whether people in tier 1 and 2 towns will simply flout non-essential travel bans, drive to tier 1 towns and move in with other people — a ‘highly likely’ scenario (thank you Mrs May) if the pubs are open late.
Mixing in pubs & home illegal
Concern that the new pub curfew is piling people onto public transport at the same time — where social distancing is impossible to adhere to, non-essential travel questionable (what’s the point of going home where you can only mix with people you don’t want to) and where you can be fined £200 for mixing in an indoor venue, ie a bus — has invoked the logic that if there was no curfew people could just enjoy themselves and catch coronavirus in the pub instead of on the buses, or could easily catch it later were the pubs to close at normal times.
Liberal activists have accused the government of discrimination, arguing that in deciding where and when the public can and cannot catch coronavirus is a clear violation of virus’ rights.
So far there has been no legislation to combat the allegation that coronavirus is selectively racist or that the virus places men more at risk of fatality than women. It is hoped, however, that if the first finding leads to riots, that riot mixes will be limited to crowds of six, preferably from the same household. The government has already taken the precaution of hiding all statues behind giant face masks. As for the man thing, any suggestion that the virus could be sexist has been effectively dealt with under the Positive Discrimination Act.
Whilst everyone should do their utmost to obey the letter of the law ~ known by most as the ‘C’ rate ~ the public are advised to beware of scams, such as where policemen disguised as policemen try to fine you 200 quid.
Remember, there is a subtle difference between breaking the guidelines and breaking the law (200 quids worth of subtlety), but one thing the government has not made clear (amongst the many other things) is whether breaking wind is exempt or not, but laughing about it certainly is, unless you are breaking wind with others in your own household group, where, after several months of lockdown, it has probably ceased to be funny.
In summary, what we think, but don’t know exactly, is now happening in the four areas:
What was previously lockdown is now more lockdown than previously
Previously you could be breaking guidance, but now you can break the law instead (£200 please)
Previously it was illegal to mix with people in private homes and gardens, now we are all related and have much larger extended families
You can go to the pub with everyone from the same household with whom you have been rowing and getting on each other’s nerves for months, but if you mix with others, such as the man or woman behind the bar, you risk a fine of £200
You can mix in parks or beer gardens if there is no more than six of you, but the government advises against it in case the man sweeping up leaves or the girl collecting the beer glasses gets too close, thus making it seven people (£200 please!)
Exemptions for people in bubble cars, saying that they are childcare supporters, or working from home in pubs or parks must not look like MPs or else they will have to resign
Non-essential travel, which does not include trips to the outside toilet where no more than six from the same household are allowed to congregate for fear of contracting a social stigma, is at ‘guidance’ stage, but just when you get used to it, it could suddenly change at half-past-four-and-a-half and become a criminal offence (£200 please)
If in doubt don’t be an amber gambler, consult the government’s traffic-light system!
Red ~ you must not go anywhere or do anything, but you must go to work
Amber ~ you can go somewhere, but we are not sure where, but if you go, go in sixes
Green ~ go now, and go quickly before the lights change to red!
Coronavirus & the Fear of Conservatism ~ but whose fear is it?
Published: 16 August 2020
Pinch me, wake me up, please tell me that I have been dreaming. I will not go so far as to say that the BBC has plumbed new depths of depravity, but could we say stupidity? Once renowned for its incisive journalism, for producing some of the finest English historical dramas ever to cross the airwaves, not to mention some of the finest comedies, the beeb has allowed itself to become so completely enslaved to the revisionism and foppery of liberalism and its politically correct mantra that it is fast becoming a parody of their worst excesses. Consider this article, if you will: ‘The fear of coronavirus is changing our psychology’.
There now follows a series of quotes, please look away if you are not up for a giggle:
“Due to some deeply evolved responses to disease, fears of contagion lead us to become more conformist and tribalistic, and less accepting of eccentricity. Our moral judgements become harsher and our social attitudes more conservative when considering issues such as immigration or sexual freedom and equality. Daily reminders of disease may even sway our political affiliations.” {Oh no, Ha! Ha!}
“The recent reports of increased xenophobia and racism may already be the first sign of this” {Ha! Ha! Ha!}
“In the same study, a reminder to wash their hands led participants to be more judgemental of unconventional sexual behaviours. They were less forgiving of a woman who was said to masturbate while holding her childhood teddy bear, for example, or a couple who had sex in the bed of one of their grandmothers”. {Ha! Ha! He! He! Others, Its and all … er, and so what?}
“… the threat of disease can also lead us be more distrustful of strangers. That’s bad news if you’re dating.” {… guffaw! and good news if you are not as cautious as you should be}
“… it can result in prejudice and xenophobia … fear of disease can influence people’s attitudes to immigration.” {snort, well, yes?}
Where’s Michael Palin when you need him! Oh yes, most likely virtue-signalling by calling for a new politically correct design for the Most Distinguished Order of St Michael and St George. We’ll press on without him.
At one level, the nonsense in this article is reassuring, for instance you may have been labouring under the false apprehension that your conservative view on the world and the renewed trust placed in less ‘eccentricity’ and more social and moral stability is the onset of coronavirus itself (one of those media-alleged new symptoms) or alternatively has been brought about by me, in Kaliningrad, hacking into your juice blender.
No connection, but as for the sex bit, I would think that your lust affair with your teddy bear, Action Man model or Obama doll is your business, and as for grandma’s bed, well it is the same as gay parades, it is all very colourful, isn’t it, but do we really have to applaud every time?
As for strangers, generation upon generation of grandpops and grandmas (all suspicious about ‘whose been sleeping in my bed’ (wasn’t that something to do with teddy bears? Or did that happen at their picnic?) have been warning the young about the dangers of strangers ~ “If you go down to the woods today you’ll be in for a big surprise …” ~ there you are, it’s those teddy bears again! Admittedly, it is not good for dating, and we no longer have Cilla Black to reassure us it is all safe fun.
And what about, “Extra! Extra! Read all about it! Fear of coronavirus ‘can result in prejudice and xenophobia … fear of disease can influence people’s attitudes to immigration’”.
Presumably, when in lockdown you would welcome the chance to see more people, is not that the reason why when lockdown was eased hordes of Brits, both legacy and in name only, threw away their masks like women’s libbers of old discarding their burnt bras, and shooting off to Skeggy and Brighton for the day, showed the world, whilst showing themselves up, just how tolerant they were to every piece of space invasion. The same could be said about Brit attitudes to immigration, unless of course you realise that the country is over-populated, that the NHS cannot cope and as the economy is at the lowest ebb it has been for years there is little sense in encouraging thousands of illegals to land upon these shores and put them up for free in Kent hotels. But then that’s not xenophobia, that is common sense.
So, we can see from this article that the definitive message is do not worry about catching coronavirus and feeling ill, do not worry about catching coronavirus and feeling very ill, do not worry about catching coronavirus and it killing you, the main concern is that the fear of coronavirus may wake you up from the PC nightmare inflicted upon you for the past 30 years and make you want life to be normal again ~ a return to Britain the way it was.
Rest assured, this is not your fear, but the fear of it happening is sure terrifying someone.
Quick, bring on the ‘vaccine’!!
You’ll just have to wait until you’ve had the vaccine!
The Grand International Covid-19 & Culture-Threat Vaccine Race Not Quite Live from Gaydock Park
Published: 5 August 2020
Hello and welcome to the first Grand International Covid-19 & Culture-Threat Vaccine Race not quite live from Gaydock Park.
Held in somewhere that used to resemble the UK, this is the first equestrian race of its type where most spectators are watching in self-isolation from the comparative bailiff safety of their coronavirus mortgage-reliefed homes. The only people who will get an actual glimpse of the race live are boatloads of migrants, who will have a clear view on their approach to Dover. That’s them cheering in the background, ‘give us a free house in Surrey’, and there’s a man on the cliffside watching through his binoculars who has given us a tip for the 1960s’ Race at Haydock, which is odds-on favourite, They Should Have Listened to Enoch.
Described by some as the first nationalist race symbolising the inevitable, irredeemable, inexorable demise of globalism, and by Others as being sexist, what we do know is that it is the first race ever in which the horses will be wearing face masks, even if nobody else is.
For those of you who have just joined us, from anywhere and everywhere, the police are providing a free taxi service to a hotel of your choice, for the rest of you who understand English, and there aren’t many, but never mind we’ll provide an interpreter, it’s only money, this is a high-stakes race, the first one past the Vaccine Finishing Post not only out-prestiging everyone else in the civilised world, as well as those in Scotland, but also monopolising the coronavirus vaccine for his country and ensuring that their pharmaceutical sponsor makes mega-bucks whilst holding the world to ransom.
Ahh, and now we see the horses approaching the starting gate. In a few moments, a billionaire philanthropist will fire the starting gun and the first Grand International Covid-19 & Culture-Threat Vaccine Race will be underway.
There goes the gun (blast, he missed himself!) and they’re off! (I wondered where my wife was?) and the horses are off too.
And up front, but not so up front as we’d like, it’s China’s Unnamed Unknown Vaccine, followed by Discredited HOO, odds-on favourite Oxford Fix close behind with Gay Parade too close behind for comfort as Labour Party falls back, but not far enough for some. And China’s Unnamed Unknown Vaccine going like a bat out of hell, neck and neck with Conspiracy Theory as they approach Bills Gate. And in the black & red face mask and German tin helmet its BioTank putting pressure on Rest of the World with Open Borders, Big Mistake and Murkal’s Refugees crowding in the middle and everywhere else, whilst US Operation Warp Speed fails to trump False Liberal Media. Into the first hurdle and down goes Lockdown, Conservative Party unseating its rider, Nobody Cares and Who Gives A Toss on either side of LGBT, Tony Blair a casualty But He Doesn’t Seem to Know It, as She’s Got More Mouth Than a Cow’s Got C… ridden by the Dwarf from the North thunders into fourth place. False Liberal Media making difficult headway as they enter the Straight & Narrow, with Selfish Brits Crowding Brighton Beach and Social Distancing now one metre, could be two, behind Confused Government Policy. There goes Statistics and its China’s Unnamed Unknown Vaccine fighting it out with Poisoned Meat Market, Don’t Believe It and Whose Laboratory as Mrs May’s Highly Likely is overtaken by Truth, Porton Down and Unbelievable Story with outsider Russia’s Vaccine closing the distance on Collusion Complex and Clinton’s Hacking Jacket an also and almost ran. Ahead now and quite round the bend Entire Liberal Media, closely pursued by Populist Vote, which surges into first place as Farage’s Triumph sails merrily into the lead, threatening EU Dominance, pulling the plug on EU Court of Human Blights and Whose Democracy Is It? Common Sense is out of the race replaced by All Kinds of Liberal Agendas, Lost Heritage and Law & Order Matters, and its Muggers Alley, Hand-Over Your Cash, LoL and Innit, and Churchill’s Statue battling it out with Defund the Police as the race enters the final straight. Black Lives Matters, Reputation in Tatters and Obsequious Corporate Policy making the running, in the opposite direction, alongside Fickle Government Policy and Overpaid Untalented Celebs all surprised by BREXIT.
And its Bullshit, Bullshit and the Liberal Media, Bullshit, Russophobia, Bullshit and BBC Licence Fee hard pushed to pass They Won’t Pay It with Historical Drama Revisionism tangling with Gender-Bending Dr Who and Sink Estate in a TARDIS as they round Diverse Psychosis Corner. And its Bullshit in the lead, Ballshit out in front, Ballshit trampling Anti-Vaxxer, Trump with Second Wind as he trounces Second Wave and yes, its … Wait one moment. News just in! Apparently, we’ve just entered the third wave. Traditionally, it takes 10 to 15 years to develop a vaccine, so the finishing line has been moved to 2035 ~ stay tuned, stay in, stay safe and whatever you do don’t back Nightmares.
As the world’s media focuses upon the race to see which country can get the first Covid-19 vaccine off the starting blocks, amidst wild accusations of vaccine poaching and dramatic speculation that the game has gone nationalist, I discovered myself suffering from statistic-watch withdrawal symptoms. “It will all be over by Christmas,” so the generals said at the outbreak of World War I.
Anyway, as I could hear a lot of noise but could not see the cavalry, I ignored my wife who was chuntering on about a plot to crash the world economy, of which I am not at all guilty, and found the following stats for Russia in general and Kaliningrad in particular.
These are the coronavirus figures as provided by the sources credited as at 21:31 on 29 July 2020.
Both sites from which I have extrapolated these figures cover every country known to man (and Others), so if you want to consult and compare, you know where you can go.
Meanwhile, self-isolating has never seemed so reasonable. It appears that almost everybody in this neck of the woods is taking the opportunity to socialise and get out and about whilst they can.
Reports filtering in to me from the UK suggest that the lockdown mentality has taken root and that whilst restrictions have been eased officially, many people remain cagey, with most of these believing that a second wave is not only imminent but has already begun. Indeed, the UK government and media seem to be actively preparing the populace for the second-coming.
Here, in Kaliningrad, and rumour has it in Russia per se, the attitude is markedly different. Being British, I have already been accused of hiding under the bedsheets, but on those brief occasions when I have upped periscope, although the masks go marching on, the general impression I have is that the attitude-ohmmeter swings widely across a spectrum which starts with hardened disbelief, travels across a broad swathe of resignation and ends with stoical resolve. Paraphrased it goes something like this: it is not as bad as we are being led to believe; whatever will be will be; we will do our best to avoid it but somehow life must go on.
Second Wave Coronavirus
As an experiment, I popped over to Goggle News UK and in the search engine keyed in ‘second wave in Russia’. Herewith is a sample of the headlines my search returned:
No second wave of coronavirus infection expected in Russia — former chief sanitary doctor
Russia can avoid a second wave of coronavirus if everyone follows the rules and observes distance, says WHO
No preconditions for second COVID-19 wave in Russia yet, PM says
I then did the same with regard to western Europe, ie I keyed in ‘second wave in western Europe’. The search returned:
The second corona wave emerges in Europe
LIVE UPDATES: PM warns signs of second wave of virus in Europe
Spain’s second coronavirus wave swells, fuels concern across Europe
And finally, I made the same search, but substituted Europe for UK, ie ‘second wave in UK’. The search returned:
Cambridge scientists fear coronavirus second wave as ‘R’ rate rises across UK
Six towns where coronavirus is causing fears of UK second wave as Army brought in
Government not doing enough to stop coronavirus second wave, says British Medical Association chief
Even allowing for the fact that the last headline is merely concerned with party politics, ie vote Labour and they will instigate a street demo which will outlaw coronavirus for inciting populism, the attitudinal difference inherent in the way in which Covid-19 is reported and discussed is an interesting one.
Forget the argument that the Russian version of events is to play the significance of the virus down whilst the UK and western Europe motive is to peddle sensationalism and stoke hysteria, the questions are: does the first reassure and the second sow panic, does the divergent tone of each influence opinion or reflect a herd immunity to it and, lastly, but most significantly, does the public really care? How does it go? You can fool some of the people all of the time but not all of the people all of the time.
My take on the dominant attitude towards coronavirus in Kaliningrad is that for the majority of its citizens opinion is formed not by the media but in the character-making crucible of history. To understand that statement you will need to have at least an elementary knowledge of Russian history, of the hardships endured and surmounted. After all, if it puzzled such a great thinker and statesman as Churchill ~ on Russia Churchill’s famous definition was “a riddle, wrapped in a mystery, inside an enigma” ~ what chance do you have? (alright, alright, there’s no need to take it out on Churchill’s statue ~ innit). However, you can shortcut the history lesson and understand the prevailing attitude towards the threat of coronavirus in Kaliningrad by remembering that Kaliningrad is in Russia, and Russia is the country that saw off Adolf Hitler!
As for me, well, I carry my British credentials everywhere, not only in my passport, and, although I have emerged and have become more flexible in my day to day regime of self-isolation, I remain as cautious as the proverbial butcher’s dog. Wait a moment, I think I may have botched the expression. Butcher’s dogs are called many things, but are they cautious? Mine is ~ it’s vegetarian.
I was sat here looking at and listening to a Boris
Johnson coronavirus briefing video courtesy of Stun media and was struck by how
similar in language and tone his address was to a script from Dad’s Army.
There was something immediately quaint, old-fashioned, vaguely pompous,
wonderfully ineffectual and really quite reassuring in its anachronistic
nature. I thought, who is it who is writing the British government’s speeches?
They must be relatives of David Croft and Jimmy Perry.
Compounding this image of retrospective Britain with
Its ‘Back to the Wall’ are escalating media analogies that seek to couch our 21st
century plight in the bulldog-spirited language of Captain Mainwaring. Be
honest, now, Boris would make an excellent Captain Mainwaring. In fact, he does!
But here, sadly, is where all similarities end. For,
in spite of the media hype, ‘Britain in times of national emergency’, ‘never
since World War II have we been faced with a crisis of this magnitude’ and talk
of ‘wartime rationing’ and ‘putting things on a wartime footing’, at a time
when the establishment should be working together, working for the common good,
fighting the enemy like a ‘well-oiled war machine’, the Opposition and its
crony media seem exclusively focused on political gain.
I know all this stuff about the opposition party’s
main role being to question the government of the day and hold them
accountable, but there is holding them accountable and grabbing them by the
balls.
It is understandable that in our hour of need we
should attempt to evoke the indomitable spirit of wartime Britain. Consider
this extract from a Reuters article*:
Britain has
called for a national effort to tackle coronavirus similar to the one which
helped it survive the Second World War
“Our
generation has never been tested like this,” Hancock wrote in the Sunday
Telegraph. “Our grandparents were, during the Second World War, when our
cities were bombed during the Blitz.
“Today our
generation is facing its own test, fighting a very real and new disease. We
must fight the disease to protect life.”
This desire to fall back upon the genuine community
spirit that bolstered morale on the home front and infused the British civilian
population with survivalist stoicism during WWII is understandable; ask any
1940s’ event enthusiast, living history group or re-enactor and they will tell
you why ~ it was our finest hour ~ but if we are going to do it, we
ought to do it properly, and to do it properly not only do we need a united
front politically but the full co-operation and alignment of the media.
Sensationalist, overdramatised, sleazy, reaction-seeking, we have been brought up with and expect this sort of shite-mongering nonsense from the tabloids, and we have learnt to dismiss and trash it (they should never have disallowed the use of newsprint as something to wrap our chips in, ahhh well, come the bog roll shortage). We expect these comic strips to assault our equanimity with panic-seeking headlines of ‘killer bugs ‘and the numbers of dead ‘soaring’ — they need people to click on their online sites to convince their advertisers that they have wasted their money wisely (I should know, I worked in advertising-based publishing!), but even with its inexorable shift to the pit of the penny dreadfuls, the dumbing down and partisan bias, surely we should be able to expect something better from our so-called quality media.
UK Media Headlines Coronavirus
Consider the following headlines, which were compiled
from two UK left-leaning online newsfeeds over a 24-hour period:
‘I’m losing faith in the leadership’: an NHS doctor’s story
At this most desperate hour, Britain desperately needs better than Boris Johnson
The government is sending mixed messages. Johnson’s coronavirus briefings may make things worse
Boris Johnson is struggling to inspire trust on coronavirus
As this crisis engulfs UK business, Sunak’s ‘whatever it takes’ is falling far short
There is more, but I am sure you get the picture.
We could be churlish at this point and thank our lucky
stars that we have old Boris at the helm. Just imagine what it would be like if
the other lot had won the election. The first lockdown would have been at
Number 10 and the second in the House of Commons as such vital questions to do
with equality issues surrounding coronavirus were thrashed out
It is bad enough that it is blatantly ageist, but is
it sexist, is it inciting racial and religious hatred, are there any LGBT
issues to be delicately skirted (is that the right word?), and what about
Rights?! ~should we really force people to have the sense to self-isolate and
not buy a mountain of bog rolls? Would anything and everything passed in the
House of Commons be blocked in the House of Lords and would rich individuals
with vested interests stymie the process of government by launching legal
challenges in a suspiciously biased Supreme Court?
The answer is probably not.
However, most would agree (and this is evident from the change of political fortunes in the UK, Europe and America) that Liberalism is on its way out.
Lost adherents need to be brought back into the
electoral fold (baahhh, get the analogy?), and to do this it is necessary ~
they think it is necessary ~ to embark upon a war of attrition against the
government ~ specifically against Johnson ~ similar in vitriol and
relentlessness to that waged by the Liberal establishment against Trump:
attack, discredit, belittle.
In the midst of dismay, we should feel pity: Trump,
BREXIT, the EU in meltdown, the abject failure of socially engineered Britain,
there is nowhere to hide, nowhere to go. What’s the expression ~ shit or bust?
I am not a conspiracy theorist. If I was, I would suspect my retired scientist friend and his junior biochemistry set far more than I would a cartel of vanquished idealogues. But the fact remains that in —what is the expression?— times of national emergency, party politics need to be placed on hold. As for the partisan media, manipulating, plotting, and scheming, expending energy on how to put the government in a bad light in order to wrest the seat of power for the unelected and unelectable ‘when all of this is over’ is at best ineffectual and at worst morally divisive. People are scared; people are dying. They deserve better.
An article that the The Independent and The Guardian can learn from? https://www.itv.com/news/2020-03-19/uk-very-close-coronavirus-test-to-reveal-who-has-had-covid-19-with-no-symptoms/
A headline from RT news recently, which, even in these dire times, managed to put a smile on my face, albeit with a ‘gallows humour’ shadow: Religious procession in Russia against Coronavirus is CANCELED due to Coronavirus https://www.rt.com/russia/482946-coronavirus-religious-procession-canceled/
