{"id":1125,"date":"2020-04-25T20:16:20","date_gmt":"2020-04-25T20:16:20","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/expatkaliningrad.com\/?p=1125"},"modified":"2020-04-26T08:51:00","modified_gmt":"2020-04-26T08:51:00","slug":"uk-media-coronavirus-symptom-circus","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/expatkaliningrad.com\/ru\/uk-media-coronavirus-symptom-circus\/","title":{"rendered":"UK Media Coronavirus Symptom Circus"},"content":{"rendered":"
<\/div>\n

I don’t believe in could <\/em>anymore<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Years ago, when I first started working in publishing, a friend and colleague of mine who had worked as a journalist on numerous newspapers warned me off the idea of ever working in that field of print myself. \u201cDon\u2019t do it!\u201d he said. \u201cYou could <\/em>do it just because you can, but don\u2019t. It\u2019s just a race to the bottom!\u201d If I had no distinct impression of what he meant then, I think I do now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I found the answer in the UK media’s rabid quest for new and alarming coronavirus symptoms. Two articles, which headline two consecutive editions of the Daily Impa<\/em>ss, appear to have hit rock bottom: Look Out! for strange coloured wee\u2019, it could<\/em> be a sign that you have coronavirus; and, the following day, presumably because by then you will have got quite used to staring into the pan, Look Out! for your poo as it could<\/em> be a sign that you have coronavirus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Yes, I suppose it could<\/em>; but it could<\/em> also be a sign of something else, ie too much alcohol the previous evening (apparently, Brits\u2019 alcohol consumption during coronavirus is up by 31%) or it could <\/em>be due to a change in diet, ie since the onset of coronavirus you\u2019ve decided not to buy any Chinese takeaways anymore ~ even if people do call you Donald Trump,  or it could<\/em> be that you are suffering from the nutritional equivalent of coronavirus embarrassment syndrome, eating all those baked beans and pickled eggs that you stockpiled whilst panic buying in an attempt to erase your shame ~ good job that you bought that mountain of bog roll too!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

UK Media Coronavirus Symptom Circus<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Articles such as these that ostensibly forewarn you of peculiar indications that could<\/em> mean that you could<\/em> have coronavirus are about as useful, not to mention reassuring, as someone telling you that if you had chosen lottery number \u20187\u2019 instead of number \u20186\u2019 you could<\/em> have won a fortune. Expect in the coming days for the same newspaper mentioned here to offer ~ at a bargain price of course ~ Do It Yourself Coronavirus Testing Kits ~ they could<\/em>, but most probably won\u2019t.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The bottom-line is that this particular media group does seem to have an unsavoury predilection for symptoms below the belt line, since, looking back, we could<\/em> grandstand \u2018From the newspaper that brought you coronavirus testicular symptoms we have exciting news about wee and poo!\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The old song \u2018Things \u2018aint what they used to be\u2019 has never been so applicable, and, naturally, a little awareness of the lesser symptoms of coronavirus could <\/em>go a long way, but really the last thing that the very much strapped UK health service needs at the moment is 2000,000,000 telephone calls, \u201cHelp, my wees turned straw coloured, my poo looks like a boot-polished bowl of mushy peas and my balls hurt.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

UK Media Coronavirus Symptom Circus<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Is your daily paper or media group plumbing the depths of coronavirus symptom depravity? Is it scraping the bottom of the barrel, or, more appropriately, your gran\u2019s old tin bucket that used to sit in a shed at the bottom of the yard? If so, you could<\/em> do a lot worse than whiling away those extra hours that Boris has given you in lockdown flicking through the media pages whilst playing \u2018spot the could<\/em> competition\u2019. And when you are done, take heart from the lyrics of one (Roger) Getonyour Wicketer. He didn\u2019t \u2018believe in If <\/em>anymore\u2019, and neither should you concern yourself too much with the UK media\u2019s over-reliance on the ‘no news get out clause’ could.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"UK
COULD this be coronavirus? Or can’t I take photographs and do you need glasses??????????????<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Related articles<\/h4>\n\n\n\n

Coranavirus New Speech Symptom<\/a>
Positive Outcomes from Coronavirus<\/a>
UK Police Lockdown Enforcement<\/a>
Trapped Inside with the Media<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Copyright \u00a9 2018-2020 Mick Hart. All rights reserved.<\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I don’t believe in could anymore Years ago, when I first started working in publishing, a friend and colleague of mine who had worked as a journalist on numerous newspapers warned me off the idea of ever working in that field of print myself. \u201cDon\u2019t do it!\u201d he said. \u201cYou could do it just because […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"_themeisle_gutenberg_block_has_review":false,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[69],"tags":[299,302,298,301],"class_list":["post-1125","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-meanwhile-in-the-uk","tag-coronavirus-could","tag-daily-express-poo-symptoms","tag-uk-media-coronavirus-symptom-circus","tag-uk-media-covid-19-unusual-symptoms"],"aioseo_notices":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":1213,"url":"https:\/\/expatkaliningrad.com\/ru\/uk-coronavirus-hypochondria-day\/","url_meta":{"origin":1125,"position":0},"title":"UK Coronavirus Hypochondria Day","author":"Captain Codpiece","date":"3 \u043c\u0430\u044f, 2020","format":false,"excerpt":"It\u2019s a great time to be a hypochondriac It was reported today in The Indefensible that the British Government is considering introducing a new public holiday. 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