{"id":1222,"date":"2020-05-06T08:23:25","date_gmt":"2020-05-06T08:23:25","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/expatkaliningrad.com\/?p=1222"},"modified":"2020-05-06T08:23:37","modified_gmt":"2020-05-06T08:23:37","slug":"uk-lockdown-new-board-game","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/expatkaliningrad.com\/ru\/uk-lockdown-new-board-game\/","title":{"rendered":"UK LOCKDOWN NEW BOARD GAME"},"content":{"rendered":"
<\/div>\n

LOCKDOWN! ~ the game that everyone is talking about …<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

LOCKDOWN! is one of a new trilogy of games from well-known boredgames maker, John Wankerson, sponsored by Kim Whetherfork in association with Big Pharma and the Chinese Tourist Beard. The object of the game is for one or more players to sneak off without the other players seeing them. The winner is the first one to send a postcard back from Skegness, without having been stopped on the way for breaking the social distancing rules.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

UK LOCKDOWN NEW BOARD GAME<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Players have to run the gauntlet of hysterical media headlines, leap over the boggy landscape of Conscience Mire, escape the Maze of Conflicting Stories, grapple with conspiracy theorists and eat Chinese takeaways. Bats (which is difficult to start a sentence with at this point) are no longer in the Belfry, a restaurant which has been closed down by public health officials, and players run the risk of forfeits depending on where they land. For example, on squares such as \u2018LOOK OUT! THEY\u2019RE OPEN!\u2019, the player takes a LOOK OUT card, ie \u2018Stop off at Kim Whetherfork\u2019s for a pint, pay a \u00a310 fixed fine or take a Chance and catch coronavirus\u2019 and on other squares, such as VOTE LABOUR, there is no hope and it is just GAME OVER.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The full-length version of the game takes about 33 years to complete, unless a vaccine is discovered in the meantime, but the concise option, BLAME, takes less time than it takes to ask who left the backdoor open. Hatty Mancock, BLAME Executive without portfolio and mask, admits that distribution during the coronavirus epidemic may be a bit tight if not disingenuous, but the Onguardianism<\/em> and The Indefensible<\/em> cannot stop saying that 1 million will be available in the UK yesterday, now that we have a female Dr Who. In the United States, the game will be licensed under the tradeoff LOCKEDOUT, distributed by Mexican Wall inc, in very limited numbers. Forfeits will be replaced with Trumps and each game will come free with an imperial gallon of disinfectant. People living in deprived areas should not expect to acquire the game now, in the near future or ever, or run the risk of losing their privileged status.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

LOOKOUT (\u2122)<\/sup> is a trademark of The British Tourist Bored and is endorsed and enforced by Queer Stammer and the TUCs (Trades Union C\u00ad_ _ _s)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Reading to take your mind off coronavirus<\/strong>
UK Coronavirus Hypochondria Day<\/a>
UK Media Coronavirus Symptom Circus<\/a>
Coronavirus New Speech Symptom<\/a>
Trapped Indoors with the Media<\/a>
Brits Upend Social Distancing<\/a>
Panic Buying Shelves Empty<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Copyright \u00a9 2018-2020 Mick Hart. All rights reserved.<\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

LOCKDOWN! ~ the game that everyone is talking about … LOCKDOWN! is one of a new trilogy of games from well-known boredgames maker, John Wankerson, sponsored by Kim Whetherfork in association with Big Pharma and the Chinese Tourist Beard. The object of the game is for one or more players to sneak off without the […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":1228,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"_themeisle_gutenberg_block_has_review":false,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[69],"tags":[321,320,319],"class_list":["post-1222","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-meanwhile-in-the-uk","tag-board-game-lockdown","tag-lockdown","tag-uk-lockdown-new-board-game"],"aioseo_notices":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/expatkaliningrad.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/05\/LOCKDOWN-USE-Resized.jpg?fit=1260%2C684&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":1285,"url":"https:\/\/expatkaliningrad.com\/ru\/uk-coronavirus-confusion-strategy\/","url_meta":{"origin":1222,"position":0},"title":"UK Coronavirus Confusion Strategy","author":"Captain Codpiece","date":"11 \u043c\u0430\u044f, 2020","format":false,"excerpt":"At least we can all die laughing Published: 11 May 2020 The media may be slating Boris Johnson this morning over his obscurantist speech the day before, but I for one found it intensely amusing. I haven\u2019t laughed so much in years. If I\u2019d have been wearing false teeth at\u2026","rel":"","context":"\u0412 "Meanwhile in the UK"","block_context":{"text":"Meanwhile in the UK","link":"https:\/\/expatkaliningrad.com\/ru\/category\/meanwhile-in-the-uk\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/expatkaliningrad.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/05\/park-748339_1280.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/expatkaliningrad.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/05\/park-748339_1280.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/expatkaliningrad.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/05\/park-748339_1280.jpg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/expatkaliningrad.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/05\/park-748339_1280.jpg?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/expatkaliningrad.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/05\/park-748339_1280.jpg?resize=1050%2C600&ssl=1 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":1387,"url":"https:\/\/expatkaliningrad.com\/ru\/clueless-world-health-game\/","url_meta":{"origin":1222,"position":1},"title":"Clueless World Health Game","author":"Captain Codpiece","date":"24 \u043c\u0430\u044f, 2020","format":false,"excerpt":"Clueless a World Health Board Game CLUELESS! The third in a trilogy of new exciting bored games from the maker\u2019s John Wankerson, in association with World Health. I think it was done in the meat market, with a revolting habit by Batman. A whodunnit, what-are-we-going-to-do-about-it, \u2018will it ever be the\u2026","rel":"","context":"\u0412 "Meanwhile in the UK"","block_context":{"text":"Meanwhile in the UK","link":"https:\/\/expatkaliningrad.com\/ru\/category\/meanwhile-in-the-uk\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"Clueless a World Health Board Game","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/expatkaliningrad.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/05\/Rules-of-Clueless-Pic.jpg?fit=667%2C750&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/expatkaliningrad.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/05\/Rules-of-Clueless-Pic.jpg?fit=667%2C750&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/expatkaliningrad.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/05\/Rules-of-Clueless-Pic.jpg?fit=667%2C750&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":1305,"url":"https:\/\/expatkaliningrad.com\/ru\/exit-strategy-board-game\/","url_meta":{"origin":1222,"position":2},"title":"EXIT STRATEGY Board Game","author":"Captain Codpiece","date":"14 \u043c\u0430\u044f, 2020","format":false,"excerpt":"EXIT STRATEGY ~ a new bored game Published: 14 May 2020 Out in autumn 2020, or possibly sooner, such as the end of the world, is EXIT STRATEGY. 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