{"id":2306,"date":"2020-10-04T09:36:08","date_gmt":"2020-10-04T09:36:08","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/expatkaliningrad.com\/?p=2306"},"modified":"2020-10-04T20:09:20","modified_gmt":"2020-10-04T20:09:20","slug":"mixing-in-pubs-home-illegal","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/expatkaliningrad.com\/ru\/mixing-in-pubs-home-illegal\/","title":{"rendered":"Mixing in Pubs & Home Illegal"},"content":{"rendered":"
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Pubs and homes made illegal in four new coronavirus regions including Beatlesville<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Health Secretry Mel Hotcock announced emergency lockdown changes for Beatlesville, Whoreington, Hilterpool and Mindlessborough as loss of common sense continues to surge<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Health Secretry Mel Hotcock announced today that if you don\u2019t live together, then you can\u2019t mix together. From one minute past half-past three today, give or take thirty seconds, non-mixing, other than between consenting mixers in the same home, will be legally banned from mixing ~ which includes cakes and cement ~ in private homes, private gardens or indoor venues in the afore-named regions. Mixing in communal areas, on street corners, in air balloons, on the side of the Great North Road, or anywhere else where the police can\u2019t catch you and fine you 200 quid, has been cited as a jolly good alternative to everyone moving in together and mixing willy-nilly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Beatlesville and Whoreington already have laws in place to prevent people meeting in private homes, which has led to a lot of crowded doorsteps, and there is strict guidance about meeting in pubs and restaurants, although this has not affected the \u2018lonely guy\u2019 who sits on his own in the corner.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, how does it work?<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Do you really expect an answer?!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Offenders face \u00a3200 on-the-spot fines, which is bad news for exhibitionists who like to keep their curtains open. However, people who share a bubble car or have childcare needs are exempt, as are schools and workplaces, as it has been scientifically proven that coronavirus only targets non-home mixers and people in pubs and restaurants in groups of more than six.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, mixing in parks or beer gardens, whilst breaking guidance but not the law, is acceptable, as long as there is only six of you. What to do with the seventh is not clear but will suit some who are having an affair and want to get rid of the wife or return to those good old days at school where bullying by exclusion is a veritable institution. No government advice has been forthcoming about getting into beer gardens if going to pubs is made illegal, but by parachute is not illegal providing you drop in no more than six at a time. Anymore will break guidance rules but not necessarily the law.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Not attending sports matches is recommended, and no more than six players are allowed on the field at any one time, providing that they are living together and observing the one-metre distancing rule. {The FA, RFU and England and Wales Cricket Board were all available for comment, but we simply dare not publish what they had to say. Here is a hint: the FA said FA, the RFU said FU and the England and Wales Cricket Board cried middle wicket and bails.}<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Mixing in pubs & home illegal<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Good news! You can visit care homes, but only in \u2018exceptional circumstances\u2019 (whatever they are?) but take care not to break \u2018non-essential\u2019 travel rules. If you must travel then it is possibly best not to, unless you are a celeb whose star is fading fast and is desperate for publicity, whether good or bad. Of course, travelling to work or school 60 to a bus, or packed like sardines in a rail carriage, is quite permissible.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Stop press (and mixing!): We understand that local authorities in the four areas effected will be given \u00a37 million, but we have not been told why? Do they know something we don\u2019t? And who is going on holiday?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A Labour MP for Mindlessborough made a completely silly statement about mixing being the \u2018root cause\u2019 of everything ~ and no one listened to him, and probably won\u2019t vote for him again. And the mayor of Mindlessborough, smitten suddenly by what the Daily Shunter<\/em> described as another mysterious symptom of coronavirus, told the government to go and do one.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The introduction of a new \u2018traffic light\u2019 system, whilst it may not have the slightest chance of ending the confusion, will, it is confidently believed, add substantially to the confusion that already exists, and, besides, it just sounds good.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The three tier system, which will be applied to towns and cities according to all sorts of things \u2014 ie tier 1 very tight restrictions; tier 2 not so tight restrictions; tier 3 restrictions about as tight as a pair of pants with no elastic \u2014  have come under fire from people who just don\u2019t get it ~ or haven\u2019t got it yet ~ with Liebour questioning whether people in tier 1 and 2 towns will simply flout non-essential travel bans, drive to tier 1 towns and move in with other people \u2014 a ‘highly likely’ scenario (thank you Mrs May) if the pubs are open late.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Mixing in pubs & home illegal<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Concern that the new pub curfew is piling people onto public transport at the same time \u2014 where social distancing is impossible to adhere to, non-essential travel questionable (what\u2019s the point of going home where you can only mix with people you don\u2019t want to) and where you can be fined \u00a3200 for mixing in an indoor venue, ie a bus \u2014 \u00a0has invoked the logic that if there was no curfew people could just enjoy themselves and catch coronavirus in the pub instead of on the buses, or could easily catch it later were the pubs to close at normal times. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Liberal activists have accused the government of discrimination, arguing that in deciding where and when the public can and cannot catch coronavirus is a clear violation of virus’ rights.   <\/p>\n\n\n\n

So far there has been no legislation to combat the allegation that coronavirus is selectively racist or that the virus places men more at risk of fatality than women. It is hoped, however, that if the first finding leads to riots, that riot mixes will be limited to crowds of six, preferably from the same household. The government has already taken the precaution of hiding all statues behind giant face masks. As for the man thing, any suggestion that the virus could be sexist has been effectively dealt with under the Positive Discrimination Act.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Whilst everyone should do their utmost to obey the letter of the law ~ known by most as the \u2018C\u2019 rate ~ the public are advised to beware of scams, such as where policemen disguised as policemen try to fine you 200 quid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Remember, there is a subtle difference between breaking the guidelines and breaking the law (200 quids worth of subtlety), but one thing the government has not made clear (amongst the many other things) is whether breaking wind is exempt or not, but laughing about it certainly is, unless you are breaking wind with others in your own household group, where, after several months of lockdown, it has probably ceased to be funny.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In summary, what we think, but don\u2019t know exactly, is now happening in the four areas:<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n