{"id":3376,"date":"2021-03-26T17:50:55","date_gmt":"2021-03-26T17:50:55","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/expatkaliningrad.com\/?p=3376"},"modified":"2022-04-13T11:31:27","modified_gmt":"2022-04-13T09:31:27","slug":"25-reasonable-excuses-for-leaving-the-uk","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/expatkaliningrad.com\/ru\/25-reasonable-excuses-for-leaving-the-uk\/","title":{"rendered":"25 Reasonable Excuses for Leaving the UK"},"content":{"rendered":"
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You can check-out any time you like,
But you can never leave!’<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Published: 26 March 2021 ~ 25 Reasonable Excuses for Leaving the UK<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You might not believe the BBC, and that is all to your credit, but, as sensible as it sounds, the UK government has indeed ruled as part of its battle against freedom, sorry, I meant to say coronavirus, that any Brit who attempts to flee the Blighted Kingdom could face a fine of \u00a35000.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThis new measure has absolutely nothing to do whatsoever with forcing Britons, and those who call themselves British, to holiday in appalling places like Hunstanton or Skegness, and is not affiliated in any way to the Have a Gay Holiday in Brighton scheme,\u201d said William Butlins, Minister without portfolio but with a family ticket for the Costa del Sol, Wokesperson for the Kickstart Domestic Tourism Campaign.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The ban on people leaving the UK in search of sun, solace and sanity is what one man on a bicycle in Northamptonshire said was a \u2018one way street\u2019. He said a lot more, but we could not publish that for fear of the Free Speech Watchdog ~ who lives in the UK and barks in seven different languages, except English. What he meant by \u2018one way street\u2019 is that nobody is allowed out but people from everywhere else in the universe are allowed in, especially on small boats that come bobbing daily into Dover. Well, that\u2019s alright then.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, every cloud has a silver lining, except for the one called Biden\u2019s Agenda, and that has a globalist golden one (incidentally, that is also a \u2018one way street\u2019). In the case of being forced to remain in the UK (which serves illegal immigrants right! Be careful what you wish for!) the proviso is that as long you have a \u2018reasonable excuse\u2019 you can be released on bail. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

For those of you who have not downsized recently and therefore cannot afford, or do not qualify for government assistance, to pay for legal advice, here is a checklist of \u2018reasonable excuses\u2019 for  leaving the UK.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

25 Reasonable Excuses for Leaving the UK<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

1. Immigration<\/p>\n\n\n\n

2.  Coronavirus<\/p>\n\n\n\n

3. Police State Coronavirus Restrictions<\/p>\n\n\n\n

4. You don\u2019t like Boris\u2019s hairstyle<\/p>\n\n\n\n

5. You like Matt Hancock\u2019s hairstyle (what there is of it) but you don\u2019t like Matt Hancock<\/p>\n\n\n\n

6. You have no intention, now or ever, of paying your BBC protection racket license.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

7. You want to go to a country where statues feel safe and heritage is valued<\/p>\n\n\n\n

8. You really cannot prefix every statement you make with \u201cI\u2019m not racist, but \u2026\u201d anymore<\/p>\n\n\n\n

9. The adverts on the telly do not reflect what it is really like to live in Britain (Thank Heavens!)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

10. Political correctness<\/p>\n\n\n\n

11. You want to go to a country where they are proud of the nation state<\/p>\n\n\n\n

12. You want to go somewhere where you feel that your children are safe<\/p>\n\n\n\n

13. You need to see a neck specialist as you cannot turn your head the other way and ignore anti-social behaviour any longer<\/p>\n\n\n\n

14. You are frightened that if you write something on social media in the interests of your children\u2019s future, you might be arrested for inciting the truth<\/p>\n\n\n\n

15. Now that you have posted proudly \u201cYippee, I have had my vax,\u201d and changed your Facebook avatar with some pretty rainbow colours, you feel such a prick that you are still locked down in your home<\/p>\n\n\n\n

16. As a \u2018first in and out of the queue\u2019 early coronavirus panic buyer, you feel the need to travel abroad and stock up on more shite paper<\/p>\n\n\n\n

17. You have run out of bog paper and feel embarrassed as the neighbours saw you fill the front room with rolls and instead of not paying your BBC license fee you\u2019ve watched what they broadcast and used it all up as a result<\/p>\n\n\n\n

18. I am an escapologist<\/p>\n\n\n\n

19. You\u2019ve experienced claustrophobia for the past 12 months, now you\u2019d like to give agoraphobia a try (The UK establishment has given you plenty of aggrophobia!).<\/p>\n\n\n\n

20. I want to go so you won\u2019t let me back in<\/p>\n\n\n\n

21. Just because you want to control me does not mean that I am going to make it easy for you<\/p>\n\n\n\n

22. I am looking for the truth, and I know I won\u2019t find it here<\/p>\n\n\n\n

23. I was a liberal, but now I have learnt to see and think for myself<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Someone did try using ‘I have grown allergic to the sound of sheep!’ but as a reasonable excuse, it was struck down for failing to register on the Fauci-controlled Baa-ometer.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

On reading the 23 valid reasons for leaving the UK, one liberal remainer, who did  not want to remain anonymous because he\/she\/it is an overpaid, untalented celeb with delusions of political grandeur, sneered venomously (well, they do, don\u2019t they!) \u201cIt serves them right [It having nothing, of course, to do with gender]. Those who voted for Brexit wanted out of Europe so why should they be let back in!\u201d And then she went straight back to her mum\u2019s house to make a banner for this summer’s BLM riot ~ another reasonable excuse for wanting to leave the country.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, 2021 promises to be not so much the summer of discontent as spending the summer in a clapped old tent, in your own back garden if you have one and in nobody else\u2019s if they have one and you don\u2019t, six feet apart from one another, wearing a mask, waiting for your 131st<\/sup> vaccination against alleged mutated strains of a similar number and counting your antibodies to see if you have enough to get you into the pub.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And the last two reasonable excuses for wanting to leave the UK are?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

24. I want to send the UK establishment and it\u2019s sheeples a postcard. \u201cHello Boris et al, I am having a lovely time in the real world. Sun, sand, sea good weather, wonderful bars and restaurants. You can take your lockdowns, masks, social distancing, never-ending vaccines, antibody tests, and pub vaccine passports and stick them up your a!*e! We would like to say, wish you were here, but we’re rather glad that you\u2019re not! And, after all, without a \u2018reasonable excuse\u2019, you couldn\u2019t be if you wanted to.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And finally, number 25, the most reasonable excuse that anybody could give for wanting to leave the UK:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cGive me one good reason for wanting to stay?!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Feature image attribution ~ Scary shadow: https:\/\/www.publicdomainpictures.net\/en\/view-image.php?image=281804&picture=man-scared<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

The Coronavirus Files:<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Tracking World Vaccination with the Prickometer<\/a>
The Great Re-set, Answer or Suspicious Coincidence<\/a>
Clueless! World Health Game<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Copyright \u00a9 [text] 2018-2022 Mick Hart. All rights reserved.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n