{"id":4799,"date":"2021-09-29T17:29:23","date_gmt":"2021-09-29T17:29:23","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/expatkaliningrad.com\/?p=4799"},"modified":"2022-07-01T16:42:28","modified_gmt":"2022-07-01T14:42:28","slug":"beware-of-the-babooshka","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/expatkaliningrad.com\/ru\/beware-of-the-babooshka\/","title":{"rendered":"Beware of the Babooshka!"},"content":{"rendered":"
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Advice for free<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Published: 29 September 2021 ~ Beware of the Babooshka!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It was an extremely hot day when my wife decided that as I had made the mistake of buying a new lawnmower, perhaps now would be a good time to cut the lawn. \u201cWhy whinge?\u201d you ask. \u201cThere is nothing so easy as cutting a lawn. Modern, electric-powered lawn mowers cut lawns as if they were made for the job.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cAh, yes,\u201d I concede, \u201cbut there are lawns and lawns.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The lawn in question was big and, as it had not been cut for a year, it was intolerably overgrown and full of long, brown straggly things.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Nevertheless, not one to walk away from a challenge when there is the promise of beer at the end of it, I set to with a vengeance.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

About four hours later and three-quarters of the way through it, I was just looking back over what I had done and secretly congratulating myself, when a stout and redoubtable babooshka came marching down the road.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As she drew level with me, she stopped, peered over the fence and gazed intently first at the lawn, then at the mower and then at me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI\u2019ll bowl her over with my scintillating grasp of Russian,\u201d I thought. So, I call out, merrily.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cStrasveetee [Hello]!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The babooshka looks but says nothing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Perhaps she was spellbound by the conquistador job that I was doing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When she finally did say something, it sounded short and to the point. I asked my good lady to translate.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWhat did she say?\u201d I asked. I suppose I was expecting to hear a compliment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cShe said, “\u2018You don\u2019t do it like that!\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cDon\u2019t do what, like what?\u201d I asked<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cDon\u2019t cut lawns like that!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Well, really, had I been in England I would have put her right and no mistake: \u201cListen to me my good woman, I\u2019ll have you know that I\u2019ve been mowing lawns man and boy \u2026\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But that was just it. I wasn\u2019t in England and, if I had been, would an elderly lady address me like this?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Certainly, in days of yore, when I was a nipper, they would have done. But that was then and now is now. Grandmas in the UK no longer dispense worldly advice and criticism, they are too busy nightclubbing and looking for dates on Tinder.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Having said her piece the babooshka went on her way, and I continued to cut the lawn the way that I always shouldn\u2019t have done.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This was the same babooshka, incidentally, who had sworn blind that our statue was black when, in fact, it is bronzed-brown (I repeat the incident from my former post, Hippy Party on the Baltic Coast<\/a>).<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We were standing on the pavement at the end of the garden admiring the newly painted statue when who should appear but the friendly village babooshka.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHello,\u201d we regaled her, cheerily.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWhy have you spoilt him?\u201d she snapped.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I knew she could not have been referring to me, so she must have meant the statue. Before we had chance to reply, she had exclaimed: \u201cHe\u2019s black!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I shot a glance at the statue. Heavens, should we be taking a knee?!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cNo, in fact, he is bronze,\u201d I curtly corrected her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Olga bent down and picked up some litter from the side of the road and placed it inside the rubbish bag we were carrying.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHuh!\u201d the babooshka tutted, \u201cHaven\u2019t you got anything better to do with your time!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A few days later, without me, I am sad to say, my wife ran into her again.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHello,\u201d Olga greeted her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cYou haven\u2019t done much, have you?\u201d came the oblique reply.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Who remembers Albert Tatlock from Coronation Street<\/em>?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Olga asked for clarification.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She got it: \u201cThe house. You haven\u2019t done much to it. All you\u2019ve done is painted the statue black!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Who remembers Nora Batty from Last of the Summer Wine<\/em>?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

My wife attempted to turn the tables adroitly, innocently remarking on the nice sunflowers that she had observed in a neighbour\u2019s garden.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWhat\u2019s the use of them?\u201d the babooshka asked, and before Olga could think of nothing in response, went on to say, \u201cThose sunflowers are in my relative\u2019s garden. Look at it. It\u2019s full of potatoes, but she hasn\u2019t looked after them properly. They\u2019re all overgrown. Spent too much time on those sunflowers, I suppose.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"Puzzled
See end of post for image attribution<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

The next time my wife bumped into this ray of golden sunlight, she was caught by the philosopher as she was running to catch the bus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWhat are you running for?\u201d the merry babooshka asked.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cTo catch the bus,\u201d Olga explained. \u201cThe last time I almost missed it. The driver left earlier than he should.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWell,\u201d retorted the babooshka, \u201csometimes he gets here early, so he leaves early.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cBut he shouldn\u2019t!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWhy not, he can do what he likes. If he\u2019s here early there\u2019s no point in him sitting about. He wants to get on.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cYes,\u201d my wife argued, \u201cbut there is such a thing as a timetable.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cTimetable,\u201d the babooshka snorted contemptuously, \u201cwhat\u2019s the point of that when he\u2019s here early and doesn\u2019t want to wait?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cBut people will miss the bus,\u201d exclaimed my wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThat\u2019s their problem, not the bus drivers,\u201d concluded the babooshka.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Beware of the Babooshka!<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Sometimes the most important and valuable things in life can pass you by, and when we are reminded of them we should be eternally grateful. For example, if it was not for this babooshka, it would never have occurred to me that I had spent the greater proportion of my life cutting the lawn like I shouldn\u2019t have done; that our bronzed statue was black; that there is no possible excuse for growing sunflowers; and that impatient bus drivers had better things to do than to adhere to timetables and pick up passengers. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is surely food for thought that I have reached the age that I have but still have much, so very much to learn.\ud83d\ude09<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Image attributions:<\/strong>
Elderly lady cartoon: http:\/\/clipart-library.com\/clipart\/kT8oprbnc.htm<\/a>
Question mark figure cartoon: http:\/\/clipart-library.com\/clipart\/BcarELBKi.htm<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Copyright [Text] \u00a9 2018-2021 Mick Hart. All rights reserved.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n