January 6, 2020 - Expat in Kaliningrad, Russia

New Year’s Eve at the Hotel Russ

31 December 2019

Note: Rumour has it that the Hotel Russ has not only closed but in 2021 was demolished to make way for a brand-spanking new development complex. I am glad that I had the chance to visit this iconic building before it was consigned to history! R.I.P. Russ!!!😪

Every year it’s the same: what are we going to do, where are we going to go on New Year’s Eve? I was in England over the Christmas period when my wife telephoned to discuss where we should see the New Year in. Such a question would have been unthinkable, and quite unnecessary, in Kaliningrad when we were younger, as there was always someone holding a party somewhere, but the years have taken their toll and most of our friends and associates, we included, have reached the age when raucous reverie no longer holds the attraction that it once did. To paraphrase the Ouse Valley Single Club’s record, ‘We’re not as young as we used to be’. However, life is full of surprises, and just when I was thinking that it would be a night in with my old Kenneth McKellar Hogmanay tapes, here’s my wife suggesting that we return to the Hotel Russ!

New Year’s Eve at the Hotel Russ

Now, it had been almost 20 years ~ New Year’s Eve 2000-2001 to be precise ~ since we last celebrated New Year at the Russ (see my diary entry on this blog, when I get time to write it!), and when I divulged our decision to my brother, who had been with us back in the day, all he could chortle was, “Oh, no! You’re joking! Remember what it was like then. I bet it hasn’t changed!”

I wondered.

In my previous article on the Russ I had promised that we would return at some point in the future and review the Russ again, and as this occasion seemed as good a time as any, New Year’s Eve at the Russ it was.

Although Kaliningrad, where we live, is only 1000 rubles (about £11) by taxi away, we decided to make a short break of it, booking in for two nights. The New Year’s Eve party tariff was, approximately, £60 per person; the hotel tariff, £40 per night for a double room. For your 60 quid each person received a meal of 9 courses and a choice of two bottles from three options, which comprised wine, champagne and vodka. Fruit juice, in copious amounts, was thrown in and, of course, the fee included the cost of entertainment.

Not being altogether sure what time the event started, we had arrived early at 8pm, giving us time to patrol the Russ to spot the deliberate changes. We had returned to the Russ on three or four occasions since our first visit in 2000, not to stay there, but for a drink at the bar, so we were aware that the hotel had changed hands a number of times and of the changes made under different ownerships.

Related: The Hotel Russ, year 2000

The ‘sun lounge’ extension to the dining room, for example, which had not been there on our first visit, had been instigated some several years ago and, naturally, the hotel’s interior decoration, paintwork and such, had passed through various stages of transformation. Nevertheless, in terms of construction and overall layout, alterations were few: the approach to reception and reception area itself was as good and as true as yesterday; the ship-shape bar area, the overhang of which was distinctly reminiscent of a 1920s’ ocean liner, was perfect in its preservation; the sweeping twist of the spiral staircase unmolested by time; the split-level pitch of the bar lounge unspoilt in all its high-ceiling glory; the square-section colonnade marching along the centre line as sturdy and impressive as the day I first set eyes on it. However, needless to say, there had been some changes.

As one of the photographs we took in the year 2000-2001 reveals, the original Russ bar had been a rather small affair, a little curved thing which would not have looked out of place (although they all did) in a 1970s’ British council house front room. Gone! This had been replaced by a big job: a long, solid, dark-wood structure, extending almost from one end of the room to the other, and better in proportion to it. Gone, too, were the drop-down cluster lights, the ceiling-hoisted tapestries and the curved low walls at the foot of the pillars with their water feature. The main lighting source, at least at the bar, consisted of three long rows of sunken downlighters; the low walls and water features had been replaced by width of space and the tapestries had, well, they had just gone somewhere.

In the lower level, the lighting was dimmed, especially for this occasion, and restrained to roving beams and three or four table lamps, these to cosy the atmosphere. I focus on lighting at this juncture because if I have any reservations about our evening at the Russ, it would have to be the lighting, that is the lighting in the bar area where our table was located. On the lower level, the lighting was just right; on the upper it was all wrong ~ far too bright. When we returned to the bar the following evening two of the three downlighter series had been turned off ~ then, but alas, too late, the lighting was near enough perfect.

It is not possible to comment on any other difference within the ground-floor area, except for a slight variation in the fireplace surround at the end of the lower level, as this section had been set out with party in mind and to accommodate as many guests as possible. In 2000-2001, the New Year’s celebrations had been confined to the main dining room; then, the upper bar area had, presumably, been left untouched, likewise with the lower level, which was then sprinkled luxuriously with leather divans and armchairs.

On this New Year’s Eve, we did not immediately take our seats at the table we had reserved. Apart from the hotel staff, we were alone, and the empty legions of tables, hollow space devoid of human existence, background music ~ which only we could hear, echoing throughout the people-less places, roaming empty rooms and haunting lofty halls ~ put me in mind of scenes from The Shining ~ all we needed now was a heavy fall of snow!

We purchased a couple of drinks at the better, longer bar and took the same slim lift into which we had squashed with Mincer and our Sausage back in 2000. We got out on the second floor, although our room was on the third, simply because we wanted to see if we could remember which room we had occupied, and which room had been my brother’s 19 years’ ago.

In this quest we had marginal success, but this little bit of time travelling had revealed that the railed centre of the broad corridor was no longer an open vista to the ground floor and that even had we returned to carry out my brother’s threat all those years ago, to hang underpants on the top of the Christmas tree, the chance had passed us by. Possibly because our rooms had been bugged back then and someone knew of our plan, the two gaps in the ceiling had been effectively plugged, allowing subsequent management to turn the corridor below into a multipurpose function room and, indeed, this was the very location for the New Year’s entertainment tonight.

Fish & the billiard table

At the top of the spiral staircase, on the veranda where the lift came out, the full-sized billiard table, over which Mr Fish had cursed boredom and chucked pistachio shells noisily into an ashtray whilst contemplating his prostitute of choice, had vanished, replaced instead by lots of open space and around the perimeter in part a combination of settees and armchairs in a sumptuous off-white fabric into which one could gratefully sink to savour one’s choice of beverage whilst pondering on the efficacy of yonder massage chair, with its various change of positions and strategically thought-out vibrating parts.

We discovered later, much to my nostalgic joy, that the famous billiard table had not been given the heave-ho but merely relocated to the third floor.

Our room at the Russ

I am not altogether certain that the room we had booked had been described as a double or a room for two persons. Although, alas, there was no signs of rope bondage as there had been years ago, a practice, no doubt, that just did not catch on, the sleeping arrangements may have constituted two single beds artfully conjoined by the simple but effective use of a stretch-fitting base sheet.

Whatever it was, the bed was comfortable, and the room, with its light wood trim, light sandy wall colouring and matching hard and soft furnishings was pleasant on the eye and on all the other senses. Good use had been made of compacting the space available and maximum storage capacity had been exacted in terms of wardrobe fittings and shelving. The shower room was, as they would have said in the 1920s, blissful, and was well equipped: it had a voluminous sink unit, large circular wall mirror, a profusion of hooks and racks, all the shampoos, conditioners, soaps and the like you could wish for, disposable tooth brushes with toothpaste included and a wall-mounted hair dryer, a nice touch eliminating the need to search for it amongst your shirts and smalls. Without question, however, the jewel in the crown had to be the walk-in shower room. Big enough to hold an orgy, this spacious facility with its mosaic floor was just the job for a good rinse down when, on returning from the beach, you might need to evict the sand from your toes.

Another appealing feature of Russ bedrooms, at least the ones we have stayed in, is the balcony. Russ balconies are recessed into the broad sweep of the roof. They are as deep as they are wide, providing excellent suntraps in sequestered privacy.

Too cold to go nude on this occasion, even whilst wearing my cravat, we elected instead to return to reception, collect our belongings and prepare for the evening.

New Year’s Eve party at the Hotel Russ

Being a bit long in the tooth, we had chosen our table deliberately, putting a respectably less noisy distance between us and the entertainment hall. As I mentioned earlier, our only reservation was the lighting, which made us wish that we had booked a table in the more atmospheric lower level, but being close to the bar had its compensations ~ for example the attentive waiter, who could not have replenished our glasses quicker had he been beamed down specifically for that purpose.

Drinks wise, I have no complaints; as for the food, well, I am not a foodie person, by which I mean not one of those gluttons (or is it gourmets?) who vacillate from orgasmic to anti-climactic dining experiences, eating at one restaurant whilst comparing it with another, waxing lyrical on this gastronomical campaign whilst deprecating that one and scoffing down one meal in the midst of planning their next. As my old primary school teacher used to say, “There are those who live to eat; and those who eat to live.” In my humble opinion, the Russ repast was good. In quantity, there was too much for me; but I have no beef with the quality. In fact, being non-carnivorous, I had no beef at all. This should at least provide some reassurance to vegies who may have read elsewhere ~ and, indeed, in my own articles on this blog ~ that vegetarian fare can be hard to find in Russia.

My good lady wife, who neither shares my predilection for non-meat fodder nor condones my beans-on-toast palate, seemed well pleased with her meal(s). Had she not, I am almost certain that she would have complained!

The Russ breakfast

I will say, however, that breakfast the following morning was generous both with regard to the variety of food on offer and in quantity. In respect of the latter, it would have been impossible not to be, since food was served buffet style and, if you wanted more, you simply helped yourself. There were different cheeses, poached eggs, omelet squares, sausages, fish, potato wedges, small buns containing meat, croissants, bread, fruit, yoghurts, a range of cereals, a cavalcade of fruit juices and much more than my hangover-impaired memory can properly recall. One delicacy was more indelible, however, and that was a traditional Russian dish called ‘Herring Under Fur Coat’. Believe me, I kid you not.

‘Herring Under Fur Coat’

On the quality of the entertainment this New Year’s Eve, I am not really qualified to comment, as we spent most of our time at our table. We did watch and listen to President Putin’s speech and raised a glass to Moscow’s New Year, which came in one hour ahead of time than that of Kaliningrad’s, and raised a second toast at the end of the Russian National Anthem, probably one of the longest but most uplifting national anthems of all time. At Kaliningrad’s midnight, we joined the throng in the entertainment hall, where champagne was being served in preparation for the midnight hour, the countdown preluded by a New Year speech by the Governor of Kaliningrad, Anton Alikhanov.

In the lift Olga had spoken to a man who had asked her if she was partying until 6am, the official closing time of the Russ party. When she replied in the negative, excusing us from this commitment due to our age, the grey-haired man replied, “I’m not as young as I used to be [now, where have I heard that before?] but I’m going to party anyway!”

Young and old and in between, the Russ continued to rock until daybreak. Much was drunk; but all was civilised!

In summary, our return to the Hotel Russ had been disappointing: the service was excellent, the staff extremely efficient and friendly, the bar well stocked, the food ~ like Trump ~ unimpeachable, the interior design architecturally fascinating, the hotel rooms clean, comfortable and well-equipped, and it was all that you wanted and all you could ask for. Although I did not have so much to laugh about as I did 19 years’ ago when last I stayed at the Russ, what the Russ had lost in slapstick comedy it had more than made up for in professionalism, atmosphere and a sense of bon ami.

At a time when hotels are popping up in Svetlogorsk like a bad rash, should you be looking for reclusive (ie away from the increasing hustle and bustle of the seafront) and exclusive accommodation, you would do much worse than opt for the Russ. From relatively humble but entrepreneurial beginnings, it has attained a level of maturity seldom encountered in the hospitality trade.

The Hotel Russ, Svetlogorsk, Russia: a 4-Star Hotel with 6-Star Service!