24 February 2026 – Winter in Kaliningrad can be both harsh and beautiful
No sooner had I posted Snow in Kaliningrad than the first signs of a thaw occurred. At 4.30am on the morning of the 22nd February 2026, my long-term insomnia allowed me to listen with immeasurable clarity to the roar of glaciers leaving our rooftop and the commensurable and sporadic sounds of smaller pieces of ice, mimicking handfuls of gravel, sliding and rattling stridently off terracotta and metal surfaces as they literally lost their grip.
Fate’s forceful intervention, either betraying the promise of a snowbound world or working with Nature to release water from frozen petrification, are interpretations only to be mediated by your personal understanding of the benign and malignant forces that constitute our natural/unnatural world. Are postulations of a beautiful Nature all that they are cracked up to be, or is Nature merely an aberration, a mistake, which, including us, is nothing more than a virus more invasive to planet Earth than a dinghy full of migrants powered by liberal-leftism on its way to England? In the stillness of 4:30, it all seems so peculiar.
Winter in Kaliningrad can be both harsh and beautiful
Snow may have brought the Old West quick draw to Kaliningradians armed with shovels and across its frozen tundra made otherwise manly men mince, but the flip side to the challenge is, or has been, many a pretty and picturesque scene, with white landscapes, crystalline trees, a wonderland playground for children, including for those that have never grown up, and, once you’ve contended with frozen toes and mastered the art of your balancing act, an all-pervading magical atmosphere.
Herewith is a handful of images from the cards that winter has so far dealt us. The cards for March are yet to be played; thus, all bets for a no-snow spring are off for a few days more.
It looks cold, and it is!
If you haven’t the foggiest where the following photos were taken, then you evidently haven’t read my post on Königsberg Cathedral. The down-to-earth views are photographed on a very cold, snowy evening from the side of Honey Moon Bridge, which is the bridge that connects Kneiphof (Königsberg) with Kant Island (Kaliningrad) to the Fishing Village. The other snapshots offer a grandstand view out and over the sublime expanse of the cathedral’s rooftop, with its distinctive decorative cupola-shaped knop and skyline-commanding mast.
The streets of Kaliningrad
Self-explanatory really: street scenes of snowbound Kaliningrad. If you’ve never clapped eyes before on a photo-posing historic fire hydrant, you have now. If it could operate a smartphone, I’m sure it would take a selfie – or perhaps it has too much pride.
Youth Park snowed under
Kaliningrad’s Youth Park is usually teeming with life, but a few days ago, when these photos were taken, it was a snow-inhabited ghost town. Apart from snow-shovelling men, nothing else was working. The indoor skating rink was open. A great place to be on a cold and icy day!
Sledging (or should that be doughnutting) in Central Park, Kaliningrad
Just before the big thaw set in, we set off to Kaliningrad’s Central Park, which at first sight may appear flat, but at the furthermost end, that’s the one where you don’t come in through the main gate, is characterised by a pronounced declivity – let’s say ‘slope’.
The Marilyn Monroe of curves, the landscape’s flattering figure makes it the perfect place to position yourself and slide off into the stream below – if, of course, you are not too careful. We were.
I stationed myself at the base of the sledge-run and arrested the first descent in such a way that it almost took my arm off. This taught me that the best method of halting the sledge was to stoop down with hands outstretched as if I were a wicket keeper, which I rarely was, because second to football, I hated cricket; yet, had I been more compliant, I might have been correctly informed that a decrease in speed could be best effected by the pilot of the speeding snowcraft using their heels as brakes. These modern doughnut-shaped things are mighty fast on snow, albeit a little less dignified than their more conventional counterparts.
Winter in Kaliningrad can be both harsh and beautiful
In winter, much of Central Park, like the trees that occupy it, lies dormant. But after a game of snowballs and lying in the snow, you really need something to pep you up. I have generally found that in winter at least one of Central Park’s refreshment kiosks debunks shutdown and that snacks, teas, coffees and even ice creams are still available for the cold and brave.
Catering for those whose resuscitation requirements are rather more sophisticated, I was pleased to learn that on the day in question – the question being, whatever was I doing standing around in the snow? – The winter-friendly kiosk was adult enough to provide mulled wine.
At four quid a pop, you don’t get pop, but you do get a very tasty, very warming and satisfactorily large helping of a put-colour-back-in-your-cheeks beverage. Just the job for a man with frozen feet and his doughnut-stopping, beer-raising arm having narrowly escaped dislocation.
Essential survival garments for cold weather in Kaliningrad
A blog post for those who delight in quests for meaning with some compensatory tilts towards coincidence and the intervention of luck
12 February 2026 – Königsberg Cathedral, Kaliningrad: a story of survival
It did not dawn upon me until recently, although it had been percolating around and around in my subconscious for yonks, that here am I dwelling in old Königsberg and to date have failed to write a post devoted to its wonderful cathedral, which only happens to be Kaliningrad’s most visited and popular tourist attraction and the last remaining marker of what is often described historically as Königsberg’s spiritual and cultural centre. I suppose that you will tut that I have been too busy taking potshots at the antics of the liberal left and writing curated highbrow on such topics as tin buckets and badgers dressed in underpants, but I confess that my penance is overdue, and so it is with humbled contriteness that I take you by the hand and lead you to the one and only Königsberg Cathedral.
Königsberg Cathedral, Kaliningrad: a story of survival
The most profound, iconic and spectacular testimony to Kaliningrad once being Königsberg is the continued presence of Königsberg Cathedral. Contrary to appearances, the cathedral’s spiritual connections did not throw a shield around it during WWII. It was not singled out by divine intervention for survivalist dispensation. Although, the fact that it was gutted and that its outer walls remained intact, thus preserving a shell of its former self, could be offered up as evidence of how wrong I am in this assumption. For had the walls not remained, it is doubtful, if not impossible, that later, much later in fact, the remainder of this poignant tribute to the glory that was Königsberg would have become its advocate for conservation and regeneration.
I haven’t the vaguest idea whether you are asking how and why the cathedral escaped demolition from the postwar Soviet dictate to eradicate all things German. But just in case you are, the answer to such a hypothetical question is that Königsberg Cathedral owes a debt for its salvation to a coalition of culturally minded people and indulgent local history groups, felicitously supported by Moscow’s Ministry of Culture.
It is said that in the drive to expunge all things German, Kaliningrad’s local authorities actively sought to demolish the cathedral, as indeed became the fate of Königsberg Castle, but that a handful of heritage-conscious historians, emphasising the building’s historical value, countered with the argument that the building was worthy of reprieve. There can be no doubt at all that the Ministry of Culture’s backing must have applied crucial leverage for the preservationist’s cause. But help was also forthcoming from the most unlikely of sources, that of the city’s most famous inhabitant the German philosopher Kant, whose tomb, like the cathedral to which it is attached, had survived the aerial bombing and Soviet siege of Königsberg.
Ironically Kant, who was a lifelong resident of Königsberg, who hardly ever left the city that he loved, but who, in later life, it is said, tended to visit the cathedral less and less, played an indispensable part in saving the stricken building from the swoop of the demolition ball and alteration by dynamite.
Kant to the rescue
During the Soviet era, particularly in the immediate aftermath of WWII, all distinguished and distinguishing German buildings which in Königsberg had survived destruction were looked upon as offending symbols of a militaristic nature and objectionable reminders of Fascistic ideology.
However, to have laid waste to Königsberg Cathedral would have entailed the simultaneous destruction of Kant’s tomb, which was and still is located at the cathedral’s northeast corner. Fortunately for both, Soviet ideology regarded Kant a progressive thinker whose work had greatly influenced the philosophical tenets of Soviet-approved Hegel and Marx.
The preservation-destruction debate continued unabated, but before a decision could be taken, Sovietism collapsed, ushering in a bold new era. Perestroika had arrived: It wasa time of possibilities for what before may have seemed impossible. And it was during this transitionary period, in the early 1990s, that the green light was finally given and restorative work commenced on raising the wounded cathedral out from under its wartime ruins.
Konigsberg Cathedral, Kaliningrad: a story of survival
Harking from England, whenever I think ‘cathedrals’, I visualise, from experience, massive, conspicuous structures predominantly constructed of carved grey stone. The red-brick Gothic style, the category in which Königsberg Cathedral fits, is incongruous with this vision. Such buildings are predominantly Germanic and also Baltic in origin, erected in red brick rather than in stone due to a regional lack of the latter for use as a source of building material.
Historic buildings of note, particularly those initiated to fulfil religious purposes, are virtually never not preceded by an earlier version, and Königsberg Cathedral is no exception to this rule.
The forerunner to the red-brick building with which today we are familiar was smaller than its successor. It was made of wood and served the Catholic Church. This comparatively modest place of worship took shape at the end of the thirteenth century and beginning of the fourteenth. In 1322, Johann Clare, the Bishop of Samland, obtained the eastern quarter of Kneiphof Island from the Teutonic Knights. Here, development of the new cathedral is thought to have begun in 1330, with the first cathedral demolished in unison and parts of it removed for incorporation within the newbuild.
The bombing of the cathedral in August 1944 can be viewed as the apotheosis of a long line of setbacks and serious structural mishaps that plagued the building’s construction and threatened its existence from the moment of its debut on Kneiphof Island.
From the very outset, the island’s silt and mud ground presented a contradiction to the successful erection of a structure of the cathedral’s considerable size and weight. Soil had to be brought in from elsewhere and hundreds of poles driven into the earth to stabilise the foundation bed.
Mindful of past Prussian and Lithuanian conflicts, the cathedral, with Johann Clare’s blessing, began to take a formidable shape, with walls constructed in some places up to 3 metres thick. When the Master of the Teutonic Order, Luther von Braunschweig, got wind of this, it quite unsurprisingly fair put the wind up him. Instantly, he halted all construction whilst he attempted to ascertain what it was that Clare was erecting, a cathedral or a fortress, bearing in mind, of course, that the whereabouts of the structure placed it slap bang in the middle of the Teutonic Order’s domain.
For work on the cathedral to recommence, Clare had to sign a document confirming that all defensive elements pertaining to the cathedral’s spec would be dropped forthwith and also guarantee that certain walls of the building would be assembled within parameters that made their defensive role less credible.
It is doubtful that the cathedral would have gone ahead had these concessions not been made, but the making of them introduced serious inherent weakness into some parts of the cathedral’s structure, requiring buttresses and other remedial mechanisms to compensate for the heavy loads imposed by the arches and vaulted ceilings. Although these engineering features eventually lent the cathedral a distinctive look all of its own, they would later prove insufficient in preventing some of the walls from sinking and listing to the south by as much as 50cm.
Due to the unstable nature of the substrate on which the cathedral rested and the inadequate foundation base, by the turn of the seventeenth century cracks had begun to appear in various walls, particularly in relation to the placing of the towers. It was initially believed that the fault lay in the walls themselves, which explains why at the front of the building almost every window has been bricked up.
It took the complete collapse of the arch within the northern nave for the extent of the problem to be realised.
A worse fate awaited the cathedral in 1544. Up until this time, the cathedral’s front elevation possessed a symmetrical grandeur, with towers of equal style and proportion positioned on either side. In the conflagration of 1544, both towers were destroyed. Only one tower was replaced, where its facsimile stands today, on the southern flank of the entrance. Instead of replacing the northern tower, a gable roof was added, with one of a smaller but similar nature in the intervening space where the twin towers once had stood.
Fast forward now to January 1817, the year of a ferocious hurricane, which promptly, impudently, and with blatant disregard for acts amounting to sacrilege, whipped away the cathedral’s roof.
The cathedral’s checkered structural history pursued it through the nineteenth century, during the second half of which substantial soil erosion caused parts of its walls to collapse and associated damage to wreak havoc with other build elements. Enter Richard Dethlefsen, a German architect and monument conservator, who, during the first decade of the 20th century, directed a major engineering project, which included shoring up the cathedral with foundation beams of concrete, stabilised and reinforced with metal tension cables.
Königsberg Cathedral: the destruction of WWII
After all this sterling remedial work, come 1944, along came the RAF, which, on August 26th and 27th of that year, very nearly succeeded in adding the ancient monument to the greater part of Königsberg, which it systemmatically bombed into almost total oblivion. As it was, however, the incendiary devices the RAF dropped, burned the cathedral out, leaving in their wake a gutted, hollow shell.
It is only by comparing photographs of what remained of the great cathedral after that fateful raid and how long it endured as a burnt-out husk with photographs of its present self, or better still by visiting the monument in person, that one can fully appreciate the dedication, time, effort, professional skill and money that have underpinned its restoration.
Within six years, the initial, visible transformation of the cathedral’s shattered exterior was complete. In 1994, a new spire was lifted into place by helicopter; in 1995, a new clock, replicating the earlier one, was added, and between 1996 and 1998, the entire cathedral roof was reconstructed. Six years from the start of the project, Königsberg Cathedral had been reborn!
With major reconstruction work to the outside now completed, the focus then was turned to detailed conservation and restoration. The cathedral’s interior is widely accredited with having undergone restoration to a high standard, the veracity of which can be validated by once again comparing photographs of the wreckage of the building wrought by World War Two with the Cathedral as it appears today.
Among the many fine examples of restoration detail is the cathedrals’ baptismal font. Housed in a small room separated from the main hall by a carved wooden screen, this replica of the destroyed original is deceptively authentic. The atmospheric baptistry, the original of which dated to 1595, also contains two ancient plaques. Other plaques of interest displayed on the interior include two on the southern wall: one devoted to Luther von Braunschweig, the Master of the Teutonic Order; the other to Johann Clare, the Bishop of Samland.
The pièce de résistance of the interior restoration, discounting for the moment the omnipotent presence of what is famed to be one of Europe’s largest and most impressive organs, are faithful copies of Königsberg Cathedral’s tablature and mural monuments – wall-mounted memorials to the passed-on ‘great and good’.
The best examples of reconstructed wall tablets are to be found behind the main hall’s stage in what once was the choir. This chamber is also the burial place of the Prussian nobility as well as masters of the Teutonic Order and figures of royal descent. Not surprisingly, therefore, these devotional monuments contain the full ornate regalia befitting the status of those whom they serve to consecrate, complete with intricate scrollwork, chubby cherubs, a portrait bust or two, the family’s coats of arms and the traditional symbols of death, skulls with bone accompaniments – embodiments of both the material-spiritual worlds readily associated in style and execution with the late Renaissance and Baroque periods.
The most ornate and intricate of these epitaphs are devoted to the last master of the Teutonic Order and Albrecht Hohenzollern Ansbach, the first secular duke of Prussia. His first and second wives are buried in the same chamber, causing cynics among you to say, ‘No escape there then!’
The former choir benefits from the illumination of eight stained-glass windows, bearing the coats of arms of the most influential East Prussian families: Oulenburg, Greben, Don and Lendorf.
Twelve stained glass windows, recreated by Kaliningrad master artists, permit and modulate the ingress of light within the cathedral’s basilica.
Konigsberg Cathedral, Kaliningrad: a story of survival
The cathedral in its modern format plays a multifunctional role. It still serves a liturgical purpose, having two chapels in its west towers, one Lutheran, the other Orthodox, but the main hall of the cathedral is dedicated to organ concerts. Königsberg Cathedral houses one of the largest organs in Europe. The cathedral also contains a museum dedicated to the life and times of one of Königsberg’s most famous residents, the renowned philosopher Immanuel Kant, whose mausoleum, annexed to the cathedral, is an international place of pilgrimage for Kantian academics and for those who wish to savour and collect the historical experience of Kant’s last resting place. The mausoleum was designed by German architect Friedrich Lahrs and completed in 1924 to coincide with the bicentennial year of the philosopher’s birth. Upon his death, Kant was first interred inside the cathedral, within the ‘Professor’s Vault’. In 1880, his remains were exhumed and re-interred in a neo-Gothic chapel, which was later replaced by the present edifice.
At the time of its destruction towards the end of the Second World War, Kneiphof Island was the perfect example of high-density living, a compact network consisting of densely crowded urban buildings and seemingly narrow streets. The cathedral, which today can be clearly and dramatically seen from several approaches and prospects, was, in its pre-war days, resplendent yet partially enclosed, particularly on the east and north sides, where the Albertina University, into whose possession the cathedral came in 1544, formed an L-shaped ‘wall’ along the edge of the Pregolya River, with the roof, the spire and masts of the partly concealed cathedral rising above the quadrangle of which its presence helped contrive.
Today, the monument stands alone, the vast sweep of its fantailed roof and unmistakeable spired turret quietly reposed in open and sculpted parkland – a reminder of the ghost of Königsberg, a symbol of deliverance from uncompromising total warfare, an icon of endurance and longevity and the city’s most significant landmark, linking, by its pre-war history and postwar reconstruction, the ancient city of Königsberg with modern-day Kaliningrad. It is the poignant story of two different eras, the unlikely bridge between two different cultures, occupying a destined space reserved by Fate and Fortune.
There isn’t in this respect anything else quite like it. Königsberg Cathedral is unique; and, at the risk of sounding vaguely offensive, perhaps it is just as well.
Königsberg Cathedral Organ
The first purpose-built organ was installed in the cathedral shortly after construction was completed in the 1380s. Henceforth, the organ would grow in size, complexity and power. It would also be elaborately embellished, ornately carved, painted and gold plated, a suitable livery for what was destined to become the largest organ in Prussia. In the first half of the eighteenth century, a new organ was constructed. It was huge and being dressed in the grandeur of the Baroque style, with angel figures, fine carving and sumptuous gilding, commanded a prepossessing and inspiring spectacle. Both the decorative exterior and the instrument itself would undergo maintenance, repair and restoration well into the 20th century.
Obliterated in World War II, the organ, like the cathedral in which it had resided, was brought back to life as part of the 1990s’ reconstruction programme. Like its magnificent predecessors, it, too, is Baroque in style and follows the applauded tradition of its 18th-century forebear, which had the reputation of being the largest organ in Europe; the current organ is recognised as one of Europe’s largest organs and the largest organ in Russia.
A second, smaller, choral organ upholds the cathedral’s legacy as a two-organ music venue. Completed in 2006, the smaller organ conveys in its overall shape and appearance elements Art Nouveau in nature as well as conventional Gothic.
Königsberg Cathedral Museum
The southern and northern towers of the cathedral are given over to a museum dedicated to the life and times of the great German philosopher Immanuel Kant, who lived most of his entire life in Königsberg and whose remains are interred in a mausoleum adjacent to the cathedral. The displays include a life-size model dressed in Kantian clothes, personal memorabilia and interactive digital technology, allowing the user to fraternise with Kant and learn about his life and lifestyle.
The museum extends across several floors situated at different levels. The staircases are precipitous, so take it easy on your way up! The museum also contains historical documentation, artefacts and exhibits relevant to the Teutonic Order, Kneiphof Island (since renamed Kant Island), the Albertina University and the city of Königsberg. It’s well worth visiting for all the reasons mentioned and specifically to see the large and detailed scale model of Königsberg.
Wallenrodt Library at Königsberg Cathedral
In 1650, Count Martin von Wallenrodt, the Chancellor of Prussia, created the first secular library in Königsberg Cathedral, a unique collection of ancient books and manuscripts. Much of the library’s exclusive contents were lost during the Second World War, and the library itself gutted along with the rest of the building. It was restored to its former glory, and restocked with antiquarian books, coins, banknotes, seals and plaques as part of the cathedral’s reconstruction in the last quarter of the 20th century and the early years of the 21st, and now is a key element of the cathedral museum’s experience. The Baroque interior, enriched by the highly ornate carved columns and intricate moldings spanning and surmounting the floor-to-ceiling shelving units, creates a scholarly space which is at once intimate, private and studious; in fact, an interior so well replicated that reconciling the subdued grandeur of the 20th century iteration with its 17th-century antecedent is rendered quite unnecessary.
The Tomb of Immanuel Kant
Kant’s tomb, which is situated at the northeast corner of Königsberg Cathedral, is a replacement memorial, originally neo-Gothic in style, restyled in 1924 by the respected architect Friedrich Lahrs to mark the 200th anniversary of Kant’s birth.
The mausoleum is designed in a minimalist, neoclassical, open-colonnade form, which, to all intents and purposes, should be quite at odds with the cathedral’s Gothic character, and yet, oddly enough, it is not.
The columned and canopied hall contains a granite sarcophagus, beneath which Kant’s remains are buried.
A bronze wall plaque denotes the duration of Kant’s life from birth to death, and the monument is inscribed with an oft-quoted quote from his work, Critique of Practical Reason: “Two things fill the mind with ever new and increasing admiration and awe, the more often and perseveringly my thinking engages itself with them: the starry heavens above me and the moral law within me.”
Sculpture Park on Kant Island (formerly Kneiphof Island)
Kongsberg Cathedral is located on what today is known as Kant Island, which was Kneiphof Island, and which some people refer to as Sculpture Park.
Occupying almost the entire space of Kneiphof, 12 hectares, the park functions as an open-air art gallery. It contains numerous sculptures dotted about among its landscape garden, with the accent on both historical and contemporary figures, showcased under the title of The Man and the World.
At the front of the cathedral can be seen a bronze model called the Center of Königsberg 1930, a detailed reconstruction in miniature of the centre of Königsberg as it would have looked before WWII.
At the rear of the cathedral sits a monument in bronze to the famous philosopher Immanuel Kant, whose tomb is also located there. The pedestal which supports the monument is said to be the original.
Other monuments include:
A statue of Duke Albrecht of Prussia, the founder of the University of Königsberg (Albertina), and a memorial plaque to Julius Rupp, a German noted for his progressive views (1809-1884), inset into a granite stone.
The latest addition to the park is a large electronic screen on which Kant welcomes visitors and invites them to take selfies of them and him together. He is a clever Kant, for he then transmits the selfies to visitors’ smartphones or sends them by email. He is also a very friendly Kant, who parts company with his visitors by wishing them well and regaling them before they leave with some of his famous quotes.
History is always worth repeating if the bar is good
20 January 2026 – Yeltsin Forma Bars Kaliningrad: Many Happy Returns
No, of course it has nothing to do with birthdays, anniversaries or anything like that, neither mine, the Yeltsin’s nor Forma’s; it’s just what anyone who appreciates good beer and excelsior drinking environments does – they return, time and time again.
I wrote about the Yeltsin Bar and Forma in two posts and have to say that since I commended them, both for their beer and atmosphere, they still remain firm favourites of mine on the Kaliningrad bar circuit.
They, in Kaliningrad, will probably interpret this next phrase as being the opposite of complimentary, but, in the UK, we have an expression for such places: ‘spit and sawdust’. Although in these less earthy and more sophisticated days, be they ever so pseudo, such base terminology as this has likely been replaced by ‘designer-trendy laid-back interior’.
Yeltsin Forma Bars Kaliningrad
Call it as you see it; I’m a stickler when it comes to not liking change. For example, I am not quite sure why the Yeltsin scrubbed off or painted over its best example of ‘street art’ but retained its paint-spattered bog (that’s right, I said paint-spattered), but this anomaly apart, oh, and the loss of the classic jukebox, the Yeltsin in the character of its fundamentals, and may I say essentials, to wit, its rollicking beer selection and the lesson it provides in ‘how to feel like a student again even though you are past it’, render complaints null and void.
Meanwhile, next door, or as close to dammit as possible, Forma has done nothing wrong in my eyes, except, perhaps, to lose some of its furniture, or, if this is not so, to have removed what seems to be missing tables around the room’s perimeter, thus leaving the centre floor wide open.
I know what you are thinking: “What a pedantic old …”
I never got my Sherlock Holmes deerstalker hat for hiding my observations under a bushel.
There’s no connection whatsoever between that last remark and the one I am about to make, but in the artful world of pretext, I shall now go all transitionary on you – I blame it on those Coro jabs – by mentioning how extraordinary it seemed to be drinking beer in Forma, and very nice beer, too, whilst dining on sweet pizza.
This is a delicacy I can honestly claim to have never sampled before. I’ve got a good memory, sometimes, always where beer is concerned, but an imperfect excuse for one when it comes to remembering food, so I am unable to tell you with any authority whether the sweet pizza we sampled tasted of pear or pineapple, but, albeit an acquired taste, nothing ventured, nothing gained.
Yeltsin Forma Bars Kaliningrad
I ventured a couple of beers in Forma, and they were on tip-top forma (I had to say it, didn’t I?), and no less can be said of the Yeltsin’s beer selection. Just look at that roll call of beers chalked on Yeltsin’s blackboard menu.
Enjoy the photos; enjoy the Yeltsin; enjoy Forma; go to both and enjoy the beer.
Below: Forma bar
Forma bar, KaliningradBeer, menu, liqueur and sweet pizzaStrange juke box?
12 January 2026 – Gdansk to Kaliningrad by Bus: Where’s that Bus Stop?
Once upon a time there was a bus stop, and once upon a time, this bus stop was not much different from any other bus stop. People wanting to catch a bus from this stop would make it their destination and, once there, would wait for the bus to arrive and stop, as that’s what bus stops are for.
Then came an event concerning a country not that far away which changed that bus stop overnight. It was still, for all intents and purposes, a place where buses stop, but nobody knew where it was and, even if they did, they had little idea of where the buses that stopped at the stop were going when they had finished stopping.
Ostensibly, this bus stop is just one of many sharing space with other stops at Gdansk’s central bus station, a horrid place by day, yet not so horrid by night, when, thanks to the action of darkness, it fails to offend one’s visual senses, not to mention imagination, to the extent of making you want to dash for cover, which, at the hidden, secret bus stop, there is almost as little of that as there are of other amenities.
The bus station’s information office is the perfect place for concealment. Like members of a certain ideological group, now consigned to history, they declare to a man and a woman that they know nothing, though to the innocent, untrained ear, the collective, official response sounds something very similar to “Don’t blame us, we’re just following orders!”
An attempt to uncover the stop by conducting an all-points bulletin search of the many and numerous bus bays using Shanks’s Pony is an unrevealing exercise that is guaranteed to leave you incredibly more annoyed and infinitely more frustrated than when you first embarked upon it, which is how, having fully exhausted ourselves, we arrive at the point of this post.
Gdansk to Kaliningrad by Bus: Where’s that Bus Stop?
Spoiler: In the unlikely event that you are one of those vaunted mythical heroes who would rather not know in advance that the travel arrangements for your journey are faultlessly prepared and who relishes, nay invites, as many opportunities as there are migrants in the UK to trip yourself up every step of the way, my advice is look away now! Missed it! There goes your bus! For I am, without compunction, about to reveal to you, the patient and tolerant reader, exactly where that Kaliningrad bus stop is; the one that you have been searching for, and on whose bus, when it pulls in, you will embark with satisfaction, and experience more of the same when, with you on board, it then pulls out.
This is what you need to know: The number of that stop is legs 11, or, without resorting to Bingoism, just plain old number eleven; and once again in numerals, memorise this: 11.
Calling all buses and passengers, be on the lookout for a place where buses stop in Gdansk that answers to 11.
Gdansk to Kaliningrad by Bus: Where’s that Bus Stop?
Don’t bother doing the rounds of Gdansk bus station again, or you’ll entice me to return to ‘ Once upon a time, besides, you’ll be doing yourselves no favours by scooting around the bus bay area. Number 11 isn’t there; number 11 is ostracised, pushed away, shunted off, singled out for special treatment, exiled, marginalised, cloaked, sidelined and generally put under wraps. In the best tradition of treasure hunts, bus stop number 11 is concealed at the side of the building.
The building to which I refer is that curious, old, crumbling, neglected, sad-sack sort of a place that goes by the name of Główny Bus Station. Sounds a bit like ‘Clowny’, doesn’t it? The building and its park look as though they were knocked up sometime in the 1960s during the concrete height of the Soviet era when that material was considered king and have sat there ever since, basking in the most glorious state of under-maintenance and slow decay. I quite like it for what it is, decaying, but just because I’m strange does not mean that you have to be too.
Come on, Gdansk administration, that’s a beautiful town you’ve got there; for gawd’s sake, do something about that urban eyesore bus bunker, preferably with the belated assistance of a large and heavy hammer. There’s got to be more to a building’s life than functioning for the purpose of spoiling the gateway to a wonderful city and obscuring for those in transit the whereabouts of the Kaliningrad bus stop.
A few months ago, it may possibly be more, for time has that unusual propensity to continually keep on moving, just to make finding the Kaliningrad bus stop that little more problematic, along comes some Herbert Kowalski and decides that he will revert the Soviet name of ‘Kaliningrad’ to its unpronounceable Polish ancestry, and so overnight Kaliningrad is hereon in referred to, if only in Polish circles, by the substitute name of ‘Królewiec. And it is this, for most of us, shocking tongue-twister which, for several months at least, gained something of a prominence in Gdansk’s bus-blighting city, with people when you asked them not knowing of Kaliningrad, even though it can be traced on every map in the world.
If they, the privatised companies that took over from British Rail, chose to refer to London as ‘Londinistan’, no one would blink an eyelid, for such a change would be self-explanatory, but going ancient with the name Kaliningrad, and bypassing Königsberg on the way, well, what a to do, I must say!
You know, it’s difficult enough should you arrive at the central bus station by way of the pedestrian underpass, for, as with the café that is no longer there, another useful facility that no longer serves its purpose is the lift. Thus, having climbed the North Face of the Eiger to reach the level where the bus departs, lugging with you your travel bags and later needing a truss (that’s not Liz Truss, by the way), the last thing you will want to do is run hither and thither around the bus park playing find the Kaliningrad bus stop. Suffice it to say then that magic number 11, being the stop which you are looking for, stands at the side of the building exactly where the bus bays aren’t.
You may be jumping to the conclusion that having found the stop, your worries have come to an end, and that you are home and dry. But sadly not, my friends; I cringe in telling you, there is more.
Generally speaking (and why not?), 90% of the buses leaving Gdansk for Kaliningrad come to rest at stop 11, but – and mark this if you will! – there is yet a 10% chance they won’t. Sometimes, for reasons inexplicable, they pull up at a stop outside the park on the side of the road. Not everyone is apprised of this, but standing at stop 11, if a bus rolls up across the way, its presence there is visible.
An occurrence of this nature is not liable to excite in the huddle of waiting passengers, who have already asked each other several times at least, “Is this the stop for Kaliningrad?”, an awareness of the possibility that the bus sitting diagonally opposite may, in fact, be their bus. Any sighting of a nearby bus should be treated with suspicion, immediately eliciting a “Could that be the Kaliningrad bus?” inquiry. And should this situation come to pass, my sincere advice to you is to cease asking the question among yourselves and toddle across the road as sharpish as you like, which is the same as saying with some alacrity, to put the question to the indifferent bus driver, who, whilst having obviously spotted you loitering at stop number 11, is not the sort of man who would quit his cab to tell you anything, forsooth seeming well determined to drive off with a bus as empty as the one in which he left the depot that morning. There is a phrase that is often used by inveterate, seasoned bus travellers, and that is ‘catch the bus’, which is better done, I’m sure you’ll agree, before its wheels start rolling.
A footnote to these proceedings is that the Gdansk bus bunker does possess one important, nay essential, facility, and that is a public toalety. Access to this delightful place is obtained by going around the bend; that is, the bend at the side of the crummy old building – left if you’ve got your back to it, and right should you find yourself facing it. Whatever you want to do in that toilet, it will cost you no less than 5 zloty, so be prepared and have it in hand!
Travellers not yet acquainted with Gdansk’s best-kept bussing secret, the whereabouts of stop 11, might discover some usefulness in consulting the photos below, which, I sincerely hope, will greatly assist them in their quest to catch that bus on time.
Travellers, please take succour from this aggravating pith: nothing in life is not without effort.
28 November 2025 – Zötler Bier Kaliningrad: Buy One and Get One Free!
There is a place in New Orleans, but I bet you can’t buy one beer there and get one free, whereas, in Kaliningrad there is, and you can.
Not that the prospect of two beers for the price of one is any inducement, but where, hypothetically speaking, would one find this establishment if one wanted to spectate this phenomenal practice? More to the point, what is this place called?
I am itching to write ‘Zotler Beer’, but the actual name of the beer restaurant, which, when spelt Germanely using an umlaut (ö), not to be confused with an omelette, is Zötler Bier, and just to confuse you more, there are two of them in Kaliningrad: one in the centre on Leninsky Avenue and the other somewhere else, in another part of the city, on Gorky Street to be exact.
This review concerns the Gorky Street establishment. I would like to say that it is tucked away, as the expression ‘tucked away’ is such a nice one, isn’t it? But as Gorky Street is a fairly busy thoroughfare, a more accurate description would be that it’s off the predictable tourist route.
Allowing for the fact that my three visits to this establishment have been lunchtime and early-evening encounters, on all three occasions Bavaria in Gorky Street has been a lot quieter and more sedate than its city-centre counterpart. So, if you want the same, or similar, and would rather have it quieter, Gorky Street is the place for you.
Zötler Bier Kaliningrad
Zötler Bier Restaurant, both of them, in fact, are often described by trip advising and restaurant review sites as ‘offering an authentic German atmosphere’; this description is not entirely true. What you get at both branches is a themed Bavarian fantasy that owes its quintessential German impression to the caricatured Bavarian interior and the presence of often comely waitresses dressed like German Heidis. I say, chaps, we are not about to argue with that, are we!
An olde-world décor is echoed in both Zötler Bier establishments, with retro half-timbered wall fretwork, replica metal advertising plaques, shelf-displayed and wall-mounted curios and framed prints of various kinds. The dark-wood veneering of the 1980s/1990s has primarily been eschewed in Zötler in preference for a light pine or beechwood, and the salient gimmick, which is Zötler’s branding icon, is the prevalent inclusion of semi-private booth seating created in the image of giant beer barrels. The visual impact that these seats have leaves a lasting impression. I am not suggesting that you climb into them from the top; their design is cross-sectional, each with a panel cutaway, making it easier to get into them than a Watney’s Party Seven.
From any angle, they look like giant, wooden fairground waltzers, the essential difference being that their only motion in Zötler is when you might have had one too many, which, of course, being something I’ve never experienced, I rely on you tell me about.
Pretending that you are sitting inside a giant beer barrel is as good a reason as any I can think of for going to a particular bar, but it’s not the be-all and end-all of all reasons. For example, meat eaters, of which I am not one, are lured to Zötler by its reputation for such Bavarian-billed dishes as fragrant pork knuckle with real stewed German cabbage and delicious sausages. The sausages are big, long, curling German ones. I cannot comment on the pork knuckle, as I haven’t caught sight of it personally. I saw a lot of knuckle in Rushden pubs, but they were usually attached to the end of very large tattooed hands and arms, some of which came flying in my direction even though I am vegetarian. “You wouldn’t hit a vegetarian who would rather be drinking out of glasses than wearing them, would you?” Pass the Band-Aid.
Once upon a time, there was an advertising slogan in the UK that went something like, “I’m only here for the beer!” According to Zötler’s website, the family-owned Zötler Brewery has been providing PAs like me (PA, as you know, being an initialism for a Perfectionist Ale drinker) with mighty fine beers since 1447 – that’s a long time, and I don’t mean since just gone a quarter to three.
Unlike Coca-Cola, there is no myth surrounding Zötler’s secret to brewing beers of a superior quality. This might be because Zötler’s ‘Three secrets of excellent beer’ is hardly a secret, although they publicise it as such.
The first secret that isn’t is pasteurisation, and that secret is no pasteurisation! “After the foam is poured into barrels and bottles, it should get into the consumer’s glass as soon as possible.”
I’m certainly with them on that one!
Secret number 2: “Shivers of our own production.” That’s not ‘shivers’ in the sense of what runs through one like a lightning conductor in full conduction mode when, having signed off a publication, you notice after the fact that the name of the sponsor is spelt incorrectly. (Don’t worry about it; it’s a publishing thing.) Zötler goes on to clarify, “In order for the product to be of the highest quality, manufacturers use shivers of their own production, which are applied only once. In comparison, many breweries use the same yeast 10 to 15 times.”
We’re really talking freshness here!
Secret number 3: “The purest alpine water.” This is not the sort of thing you wouldn’t want to hear. Elaboration: “The production is located at the foot of Mount Grünten, one of the most famous mountains in the Bavarian Alps. Locals attribute magical charm to the Alps and life-giving properties to the water.”
Do you know, I’m rather pleased to hear that, for it brings me round quite nicely to my opening paragraph, in which I state, somewhat glibly you might opine, that I have discovered somewhere where when you buy one beer, you get one free. Sounds too good to be true? Well, fact is sometimes better than fiction, and truth is often more true than a lie. At Zötler in good old Gorky Street, Kaliningrad, Wednesday, all day, is promotional Wednesday: for each beer you buy, you get another one free. All that extra life-giving water free!
I am notoriously poor at maths, which possibly explains why when I ordered four pints (half-litres to be precise) of Zötler’s non-filtered beer, at the end of the evening and the next day, as odd as it sounds, I had the distinct feeling of having consumed double that amount. I cannot attribute it to the pork knuckles or to overdoing it with a large German sausage, as I only had a baked potato. Would it make me a local if I attributed the experience of drinking and seeing double to the magical charm of the Alps and the life-giving properties of their special water?
Good beer. Good grub. Great Bavarian ladies. And all to be enjoyed whilst sitting inside a beer barrel!
Zötler Bier (Beer) Restaurants. Frequentable at any time, and on Wednesdays you drink in stereo.
25 November 2025 – Kaliningrad in Autumn: Turning over an old leaf
From the earliest time of recollection, autumn has been for me my favourite season. In the days before real climate change, as distinct from the racketeering kind championed by the EU (achieve Net Zero or else!), I remember encountering glorious autumn mornings, especially at Hinwick Lodge.
With the nip of winter already in the air and thin ice glazing the puddles, often, as we emerged bleary-eyed into the early-morning light, we would be greeted by a hazy, glistening mist, hovering as an apparition a few feet from the ground and stretching into the ether to touch a barely visible haloed sun. Trying its very best to do what precedence taught us it would succeed in doing by mid-morning, eventually and at last, the sun would break through the mist’s upper opacity, evaporate the lower density and bathe the broad sweeping riding that runs at the side of Great Haze Wood in a less than powerful but brilliant light. Soon afterwards it would come to settle, pouring more light and warmth on the open ground of the surrounding meadows, reaching out with the awaited promise of a seasonally atmospheric and sensorily singular wonderful day.
Kaliningrad in Autumn: Turning over an old leaf
As with Kaliningrad, which is a tree-rich city, the preponderance of woodland encompassing Hinwick Lodge gave vent to the certainty of much variegated and enchanting autumnal leaf colour from its ash, oak and hazel mix. In Kaliningrad, it is the leaves of the maple tree, relatively large with their three-to-five toothed and jagged pointed lobes, which in autumn change from green to yellow, auburn, red and orange, that contribute most effectively to the city’s colourful seasonal character.
At the time of writing this post, the best part of our Kaliningrad autumn, when the air is at its most crisp and the ground is at its most dry, has tipped its hat and hurried past. The view from my bedroom window is certainly different from what it was just a mere seven days ago. The first thrilling moments of a bright-lit, expressively dry November have fallen back in the queue behind the ever-more typical expectations of damp, rain and lately snow, the initial sprinkle of which, announcing the onset of winter, has itself in recent hours given way to larger flakes falling for longer durations.
It’s time to don those woolly hats that mess your hair up so completely and shake hands once again with one’s thick and welcoming winter gloves. But before I pull on my thermal pants and barricade my body behind my fur-lined snow- and windproof coat, let’s take a trip together and say hello to some of the city’s transformational autumn scenes, including, where we have captured them, landmarks in their autumnal garb.
It may be autumn, but there’s still a lot of floral colour and bright red berries to complement the leaves’ complexion.
Below: Stairway to autumn
This telephone box that isn’t blends nicely with autumnThe neoclassical manor house in Youth Park, KaliningradAmusement rides in Youth Park, Kaliningrad, against an autumnal backdropCafe in autumn: Youth Park, Kaliningrad
Below: Colour coding
Autumn navigation skillsCamouflage for autumnA natural collage of autumn leavesThe old, the new and the naturalWatch the birdieYou can bank on itWrangel Tower, Kaliningrad, autumnAutumn in Kaliningrad as seen through Königsberg embrasure
Edgar Allan Poe, Charles Dickens, Nathaniel Hawthorne, Mark Twain, Fyodor Dostoevsky — I feel a certain intimacy with either one and all of these gentlemen, not solely because I have read and admired their inimitable works, their acknowledged masterpieces, but also from the observation that these noted writers displayed a fondness to lesser and higher degrees for alcoholic beverages. That Tolstoy did not follow suit, at least by the time of 1850, when come his spiritual transformation he renounced the demon drink, could explain the reason why I am not so well acquainted either with his works or with the life of the man himself. As in matters of race and politics, people of a certain persuasion are often drawn to one another, finding comfort and cohesion in shared identities and experience.
Tolstoy Art Café Kaliningrad
Any prejudices that I might entertain towards temperance in general and temperate people in particular were swiftly dispelled, however, upon learning of a café in Kaliningrad bearing the name of Leo Tolstoy. Not thinking to inquire whether the said establishment had outlawed the sale of alcohol in deference to its namesake, I decided, nevertheless, that since Leo’s transformation had caused him to revise and relinquish the unnecessary primordial practice of sinking one’s teeth into flesh, whilst his denunciation of alcohol could be excused as an aberration, his conscious metamorphosis from carnivore to vegetarian proved in this particular that he could not be all that bad a chap, and, even should you not concur on this point, take stock that he wrote a book or two, and that anyone in my opinion who willingly devotes the greater percentage of their little life wrestling with the written word deserves, if nothing else, to have a café named in their honour. It does make you wonder, though, about the literary prowess of McDonald. (I know his brother; he has a farm.) We are all acquainted with the adage ‘never judge a book by its cover’, and McDonald’s, of course, are not real restaurants, but having more junk-food factories named after you than Colonel Sanders implies that Old McDonald’s bruv has to be one hell of a writer. Based on the same criteria, have you ever dined at the JK Rowling?
Tolstoy Art Café Kaliningrad: It’s a Novel Experience
Anyway, burger to thoughts of that nature, let’s first apologise to Leo and then get down to the nitty-gristle: What was it that I found and liked on my maiden voyage to the Tolstoy Café?
I could say, and if I did, I would be perfectly wrong in doing so, that should you not be specifically looking for it, the whereabouts of Tolstoy Art Café would be impossible to miss. Komsomol’skaya Street, which is where the café is located, lies in what was in Königsberg’s time one of the city’s most prominent suburbs. The same rings true today.
Here you will find row upon row of solid, upmarket German flats, punctuated now and again with imposing municipal buildings and villas of a stately nature. Being predominantly residential, the assumption that the Tolstoy Art Café would have no great difficulty in standing out from the crowd is to court an evident misconception. Despite the oversized painted portrait of Tolstoy’s well-known visage, the building occupied by the café, being set back from the road and, during the months of summer, being partially screened by trees, could lead without deliberate scrutiny to passing the image off as the competent endeavor of—and here I am being polite — what some would call a ‘street artist’, or, if it suits your understanding better, the work of a graffiti merchant, who, having taken his paints and spray can, has adorned the wall of a uniform townhouse with a likeness of his favourite writer.
Whether I could have found the café alone, working from directions only, is a metric that cannot be tested. I knew where I was going, as I was being taken there.
Tolstoy Art Café, Kaliningrad: A Literary Retreat
Tolstoy, I am now referring to the man, the ingenious, gifted writer, is not about graffiti, nor about temperance and not liking sausages; Tolstoy is a man of letters. OK, so the letters of which we speak don’t spell “Mine’s a beer” or “Order me up a Double Big Mac”, but they’re definitely of a type that professionally and epically, and to this I will also add lavishly, fill many a page in many a book — think of War and Peace. Thus, that the theme of the Tolstoy Art Café is irrefutably bookish is not the kind of revelation that is going to blow your socks off or knock the stuffing clean away out of your Christmas turkey. There are books at Tolstoy Art Café — indeed books and books and books — but the fact that they are there — and there, and there and everywhere — is only part of the story.
Stacked in blocks and bound in string, which once was the way of doing things when preparing books for shipment, is a nice twee touch of vintage, which the café carries off well. And books to be found where they should be, stood at attention on shelves, lend the place an erudite air. Yet, it is not books in themselves, as appropriate as they are to a café named after a famous writer, that generate true novelty. It is in discovering books where you would least expect to find them and in a capacity and aesthetic arrangement hitherto unexperienced where the known ordinary surpasses itself.
I’ll try you with a clue. Tolstoy was a brilliant writer, an undisputed literary genius. His intellect and imagination seemingly knew no heights. Millions of readers around the world admire and look up to him. In his exploration of human experience and his deep moral and philosophical insights, he stands head and shoulders above many of his contemporaries.
“Tell me something new!” you say. And as your eyes roll upwards in an intended show of exasperation, now you see them where you saw them not, up there on the ceiling.
Books and volumes of them, some presenting their covers, some with opened, fluttering leaves; some pinned to the ceiling, others suspended at different heights by string; not just thrown together but creatively arranged, pre-planned, choreographed, artistically assembled.
The sight of so many books hovering above like words of wisdom placed inconveniently just out of reach is enough to make the dullest fellow want to say, as though he means it, “I do enjoy a good read, you know, though most of it is over my head.”
Whilst this is patently obvious in the room with its halo of books, Tolstoy Art Café is two rooms bookish. The second room has soft seats and books on shelves arranged traditionally, which can be taken down and read at leisure as one would do in a public library.
But don’t book now! I whisper. To get into this furthest room, you must pass beneath an arch of books, as though entering into a sacred chamber where scholarly miracles are performed.
Underneath the arches ...
Meanwhile, in the first room, the one with the books aloft, look for the book entitled ‘Going through an identity crisis’. This refers to the room itself. Exposed brick walls with angled lamps that play with shadows and highlights trend towards industrial chic, but a plethora of retro wall plaques, framed disparate prints and the inclusion of a parlour piano tilt the impression unevenly towards a sense of sitting quietly somewhere in Tolstoy’s living room, unlike any he ever owned but fictitiously convincing enough to urge you to respect his views on abandoning meat and booze: “Just a couple of soda waters and a vegetarian sausage, please.”
Rest assured, however, that the menu is not so Tolstoy-friendly as to predispose you to any such subterfuge. If anything, it is plainly lacking in vegetarian options, as though Mrs Tolstoy is in the kitchen cooking up things she shouldn’t. The meat options may not sit well with the man who created Count Vronsky, but I have it on good authority that they are for the most part tasty dishes, reasonably priced and pluralistic.
Mercifully, the Volstead Act that Tolstoy visited upon himself is not inflicted on the eponymous café’s patrons, thus enabling me to sample, not only sample but also enjoy, a rather moreish wheat fermentation to go with my meatless pizza.
When I am out on the town, I’m not one who watches prices, so I cannot whisper in your lug if the fare at Tolstoy Art Café was underpriced, overpriced or just about the right price {“We can know only that we know nothing. And that is the highest degree of human wisdom,”—so said Tolstoy himself} — but I am willing to bet my entire collection of vintage luncheon vouchers that if you are looking for somewhere different, which is also comfortable and atmospheric, a place in which to rest your bones, partake of a bite to eat, and drink a commendable coffee or (sshhh!) a beautiful bottle of beer, then, as Anna Karina once said, or was it five chapters in War and Peace, “… one must live and be happy.”
Happiness costs a mere 100 roubles (less than a quid) at Tolstoy Art Café, Kaliningrad
I am old enough to remember a time when ‘Happiness was a cigar called Hamlet”, but today, it’s a place called Tolstoy Art Café where creatives park their arts and others like to make such jokes as, “Do I need to book a table? Don’t judge it by my cover. Turn over a new leaf in your life and open a new café chapter. Bookmark my words, you’ll love it, I’m sure!
30 October 2025 – Kaliningrad Zoopark Now and Then Then and Now
On Kaliningrad’s Prospekt Mira, across the road from the city’s foremost Soviet hotel, a great imposing slab of a place called the Moscow, geometrically flanked by two curvilinear buildings, the one on the left containing the exemplar restaurant Patisson Markt, stands the beckoning entrance to one of Kaliningrad’s more exotic, historic attractions, known today as the Kaliningrad Zoopark.
Kaliningrad has had a zoo for years, even before it was Kaliningrad. The zoo came into being, took shape and became a permanent fixture exactly where it is today when Kaliningrad was Königsberg in the 1890s.
It would have to wait for more than a century, however, before Mick Hart would come along and bless it with his presence.
^ The entrance to Königsberg Zoo. How it was in 1913.
^ The entrance to Kaliningrad Zoopark.How it was in 2025.
Kaliningrad Zoopark 2001
My first visit to Kaliningrad Zoo took place in May 2001. My exact recollection of it is what you might call hazy (those vodkas the night before!), but I noted in my diary that it was an entertaining, atmospheric but rather rundown and whiffy place. To animal and zoo lovers, my appraisal of this valued institution embedded in the archived history of the ancient city of Königsberg may be considered rather unworthy, but you cannot be a pig farmer, as such was my lot in my youth, without becoming a connoisseur of the pongs of the animal kingdom, in much the same way that you cannot work in the media, as I did in later life, and not become familiar with the pong of humankind.
No longer linked with much affection to either end of the animal chain, the higher or the lower, my enjoyment of the zoo was initially inspired by its unique place in the history books, particularly that of its status as one of the few surviving large-scale landmarks not to be completely destroyed by the intense aerial bombardment and vicious urban fighting that took out most of Königsberg towards the end of the Second World War.
In 2001, the year when I crossed the zoo’s threshold for the first time, the main attraction was its resident hippopotamus. The connection was, and is, a historic, romantic and deeply iconic one. It follows the poignant story of Hans the Hippo, one of only four of the hundreds of animal inmates to survive the devastation wrought by the siege of Königsberg and the vicious hand-to-hand combat that took place in the grounds of the zoo itself.
^ It’s difficult to imagine, and you don’t really want to, that a fierce and deadly battle took place here, in what today is one of the most quiet and tranquil spots in Kaliningrad. This memorial commemorating that struggle reads: “On April 8, 1945, Hero of the Soviet Union, Lapshin, and his rifle platoon launched a surprise attack from two sides of the zoo, taking the bridge, killing 30 Nazis and capturing 185 more. This action decided the outcome of the Battle for the Zoo.”
It is not readily known what happened to his fellow survivors, a deer, a donkey and a badger, but Hans, who was found badly shot up in a ditch, was lovingly nursed back to life by a Russian military paramedic using that cure-all of all cure-alls, vodka, which he administered to the wounded hippo in copious amounts.
^ A hippo, a deer, a donkey and a badger This statue, constructed from metal plates and rods by a team of 15 different artisans belonging to the art group San Donato, commemorates the four that survived the wartime battle at Königsberg Zoo.
Having beaten all the odds, Hans went on to symbolize both life’s fragility and durability, becoming and remaining the zoo’s fabled hero and its number-one attraction until his death in 1950.
Since the passing of Hans, Kaliningrad Zoo has always had a hippo. I tried to unearth the name of the hippo residing at the zoo contemporaneous to my visit in 2001. Unsuccessful in this enterprise, I nevertheless have fond memories, all be they rather distant, of an enormous set of open jaws eagerly catching fish tossed between their gaping hinges from a keeper’s plastic bucket.
History of the Zoo The origins of Kaliningrad Zoo predate my arrival on the scene by something more than a century. Conceptually they occurred in 1895, the year that saw in Königsberg, on the site where the zoo stands today, a German industrial craft exhibition. At the close of this event, it was suggested by the organiser, entrepreneur Herman Claesson, that the wooden pavilions erected for the occasion not be deconstructed but remain where they were in situ and the site that they currently occupied be used in the creation of a zoological garden under the auspices and administration of a group specifically founded for this purpose, which eventually would be known as the Tiergarten Society.
Initially, and throughout the early years of the 20th century, the zoo became a major attraction and flourished in every sense. But this golden age would end abruptly, as did so many other things, with the outbreak of World War I.
Despite reopening when the hostilities ended, in the depression-riddled years that followed, the zoo never fully recovered the popularity it had once enjoyed. The Tiergarten Society, which had successfully founded and run the zoo from the moment of its inception, was dissolved in 1938, and on its dissolution the administration of the zoo and the future that awaited it passed into the hands of the City of Königsberg.
They loved a zoo and a circus in the late 19th century
The latter years of the 19th century witnessed international animal trade on an unprecedented level, supplying zoos and circuses with a source of public entertainment, an educational resource for the scientific community and a lucrative business for entrepreneurs.
When Königsberg Zoo first opened its gates, it offered its awestruck audience the opportunity to come face-to-face with something of the order of 900 different kinds of animals curated from no less than 260 global species. Although figures vary from source to source, estimates of the number of animals held by Kaliningrad Zoo today cite something in the region of 2,300, drawn from as many as 300 species, comprising mammals, reptiles, birds, fish, amphibians and invertebrates.
Whilst Königsberg Zoo, based on its animal population, was, at the time of its incorporation, by no means the largest zoo in the world, with 40 acres of land at its disposal, it was no diminutive enterprise. That figure has remained constant, but the increase in its animal populace is matched and superseded by its daily bipedal visitors.
On 11 October 2025, it was announced on a Kaliningrad News* site that the next 956 visitors would take the zoo’s visitor total to an impressive 700,000. The zoo’s director, Svetlana Sokolova, wrote in her Telegram channel that the 700,000th visitor could expect to be a prize winner.
Kaliningrad Zoopark Now and Then Then and Now
Considering the extent to which Kaliningrad itself has evolved over the 25 years that I have known it, it comes as no surprise that in composition and infrastructure the zoo’s improvements are commensurable.
Such development is not solely reflected in the facilities of the animal kingdom but also in the amenities for those people who come to the zoo to be stared at by the animals.
Today’s Kaliningrad Zoopark, as well as showcasing creatures great and small, also presents the perfect habitat in which to unwind and relax. Beyond the city’s hustle and bustle, the secluded grounds of the zoo stand as a parkland haven, a nuanced natural retreat replete with tree- and shrub-lined walkways, quiet meandering paths, quaint historic bridges, green and floral sheltered spaces, and, depending on what time of the year you visit, pumpkins.
^You’ll turn into a … Either a lot of Cinderella coaches or Stingy Jack’s secret stash; whatever the allusion, who could resist a photograph with so many lovely pumpkins — certainly not our Olga.
Kaliningrad Zoo is a family venue, catering for young and old alike. There are plenty of places to picnic in and, if making sandwiches is not your thing, eateries of various kinds. Plus, in the unlikely event that your offspring should get bored, there are swings, slides and other playground distractions that ought to be more than enough to keep the little darlings occupied and prevent them from behaving like grizzling grizzly bears.
On the subject of bears, grizzled or docile, a series of dramatic declivities sloping down to the winding channels that follow the flow of the Pregolya River are an invitation to explore the zoo on foot. They provide the route to the bear enclosures, a rugged quarter of rock and gullies, mined with caves and passages in which, should the fancy take them, the bears can take refuge and hide (bears can be self-conscious too, you know). There are also plateaus at different levels where they can lounge, lie, preen and pose quietly to their bear hearts’ content.
A little further on this descent, at a point where the path zigs left at a zag of 90 degrees, a large compound presents itself for inspection by the curious. It is about the size of a football pitch but asymmetrical by design, and on all but one of its four sides has steep, overhanging cliffs. The side where it is cliffless has, in place of a wall of rock, a natural tree-trunk frame containing a viewing window, presumably made of reinforced glass. It explains itself in an instant. Lying but a few feet away on the other side of the glass is a lazy, lounging lioness. She is staring away from the window, seemingly oblivious to the meaty snacks observing her, but the thing to remember with predators, be they animal or human, is that though the eye of instinct may be closed, it rarely ever sleeps.
It is quite a walk, this walk to the base of the valley, but once you’ve hit rock bottom, there is space enough to catch one’s breath on any one of the Zoopark’s little curved bridges. Here, you can rest for a while, and gazing into the trickling water, ask yourself the question, because it is so tranquil, did a desperate, violent struggle for life, a dreadful and bloody war, really take place where I am standing? The answer seems to ricochet across the time that’s spent, tearing a piece of complacency from your tiny moment of living consciousness, making life all at once both undeniably precious and, should you dwell too deeply on it, undeniably senseless.
Now that you are where you are, all you need to do is climb back up to where you were. With 40 acres to traverse, the way to spare your legs is to hop aboard the zoo park’s train. This little colourful engine, with its open-sided flatbed platform, doesn’t rely on tracks for navigation. It trundles along on a nice set of wheels, effortlessly transporting effort-avoiding paying passengers around the park from A to B and to almost every other letter in the Zoopark’s personal alphabet.
The Kaliningrad Zoo, the one that I knew back in 2001, is not the zoo that I know today. On reprising my visit last autumn, in September of 2024, I was, I admit, quite frankly surprised by the extent to which I enjoyed the experience, both the animal exhibits and the off-the-beaten-track sojourn in the idyllic parkland gardens. However, had Hans the hippo’s ghost been present, I am sure he would have been less than amused by the greeting proffered by his modern successor. It really was a case of “Do you think my bum looks big in this Zoo?”
^I genuinely believe that they are trying to tell us something? I wasn’t sure if I had missed the notice on the way into the zoo which explained that today was a special themed event run by the animals entitled ‘Turn the other cheek’, or whether their unified display of wildly, and sometimes widely, differing sized posteriors was a planned act of concerted cheekiness. My first prize goes to the cuddly bears; my second to the bare-arsed cheek with which we were presented. As the zoo is billed as a family experience, please feel free to ignore this remark.
^Are you looking at me?!
Tanked upWhat a whopper!Small frySmaller frySwimming zebras
^Something fishy going on Some fish can be quite frightening, can’t they? There are so many fishermen in Kaliningrad, I was rather surprised on entering the aquarium that there weren’t some in here dangling their rods.
^ Refreshments Kaliningrad Zoopark is not a refreshment-free zone. Unless you have eaten alreday in Patisson Markt, you will find no excuse not to take some sort of refreshment during your stay in the park. I like the way in which the zoo’s serveries, such as the one shown here, echo the distinctive architectural style that once was Königsberg’s signature.
Gorgeous Gothic finialsGreen and peacefulNo time like the pastNothing quite like a park benchLeafy vistasThe Kaliningrad Zoopark ticket officeNow …… and then
^Last two photographs If your Russian is not as rusty as mine, and your eyesight younger, you may be able to make out from the photographed information board what exactly this building, reconstructed as a faithful replica to its lost 19th century origina,l was. You can’t? Well, take a look at the pictures. The original was constructed in 1903.
^ It’s green and it’s woody No prizes for guessing why Kaliningrad Zoo is called Kaliningrad Zoopark. It’s green; it’s woody. There are lots of benches on which to sit and lots of trees to sit next to and under and lots of shrubs to admire. Kaliningrad Zoopark sits where it does; a quiet, natural, leisurely retreat in the middle of a modern city teeming with life and traffic. The zoo takes you off the streets and keeps you out of mischief.
Revised 25 August 2025 | First published 14 October 2024 ~ Telegraph in Svetlogorsk Good Coffee Unique Art
Contrary to received wisdom, it is not always necessary or indeed advisable for travellers to stick to the beaten track. Verily, by doing so the chances of missing out on some hidden cultural gem or other, or hitherto unencountered esoteric and unusual experience, are magnified manifold.
Indubitably, there are some parts of the world, some sinister and dubious places, where keeping to the beaten track is less a question for tourism than an action guided by common sense in the interests of survival.
Take London, for example, that patchwork quilt of small towns wherein no boundaries lie. One minute, you, the traveller, can almost believe what the travel guides tell you, that London is, indeed, one of the world’s most civilised cities; the next, having strayed from the beaten track, that you are up S*it Creek without a paddle in, what to all intents and purposes, is the Black Hole of Calcutta. Is it Africa or Pakistan? There’s no point leaving the beaten track to be beaten in your tracks. Best to beat a hasty retreat.
Enrichments of this nature do not apply, thank goodness, to a small, secluded backstreet in the seaside town of Svetlogorsk on Russia’s Baltic Coast. Not officially known as ‘Off the Beaten Track’, Street Ostrovskogo (‘Off the Beaten Track’ is easier to say) is a quaint, leafy, meandering avenue that wends its way from Street Oktyabr’skaya (if you find it easier, ‘Off the Beaten Track’ will do).
In Svetlogorsk, the streets run off from a large, open public space in the centre of the town, which, during clement months, overflows with tourists eagerly taking advantage of the outside drinking and eating areas. One of the streets that travels from this lively, bustling hub is Ulitsa Oktyabr’skaya. It is the street you will need to walk to get you to the Telegraph café.
The route is a rewarding one. It takes you past a Svetlogorsk landmark, the 1908 Art Nouveau water tower, past the town’s pretty Larch Park with its copy of Hermann Brachert’s ‘Water Carrier’ sculpture ~ the original is in the Brachert Museum ~ past my favourite and recently renovated neo-Gothic/Art Nouveau house and onto the Hartman Hotel.
To say that you cannot miss Ulitsa Ostrovskogo would be a silly thing to say, because if your sense of direction is anything like mine … Sorry? Oh, it isn’t. Well then just look for a clothes shop on your right. You won’t be able to miss it, because your sense of direction is better than mine and also because in the summer months some of its garments are hung outside in order to make the shop more visible, and besides it is located within one of those charming old German edifices that have at their gable end an all-in-one veranda-balcony glazed and enclosed in wood. This then is the junction at which you turn for Telegraph. This is the end of the beaten track.
Halfway along this quiet backwater, at the point where streets meet chevron-fashion, stand a permanent cluster of market stalls. You didn’t miss the turning, so there’s no earthly reason you should miss these either, especially those with roofs, which give them the quaint appearance of modest garden summer houses. Here, artisans working in various materials, from leather and ceramics to metalware, together with artists of paint and palette, regularly gather to sell their goods. The range and novelty of their handmade products really are surprising and the quality of them consistently high.
The location of these stalls could not be better placed, since a little further on the left-hand side, you have reached your destination ~ Svetlogorsk’s former telegraph building, resurrected in recent years as an outlet for arts and crafts and as a coffee shop and art gallery.
Telegraph in Svetlogorsk
In addition to selling coffee of various kinds~ and very good they are too! ~ Telegraph deals in assorted teas, other delicious drinks, a seductive range of desserts, irresistible homemade cakes and the sort of pastries you’ll want to leave home for. It is also a cornucopia of distinctive handcrafted wares, including vintage and designer clothes, prints, postcards, vinyl records, decorative items for the home, and original works from local artists.
IIts comfy settee and low-slung armchairs, into which one’s body readily sinks, plus the light and airy but cozy ambience, make for a very pleasant environment in which to relax, unwind and shop. If you cannot find a gift in Telegraph, something special to treat yourself with or a Baltic souvenir, then there’s definitely something wrong with you.
An introduction to two of Telegraph’s artists
https://vk.com/album55604070_101203993 Lilya Bogatko works in the field of applied arts, designing and decorating ceramic goods with stylised naturalistic images. She prefers to work in monochrome, consigning her line-drawn black motifs to high opacity white grounds on tableware and ornaments. Her distinctive illustrations, many of which have a gentle charm that could grace a children’s storybook, possess an ethereal quality. Indeed, a fair proportion of her subjects, be they man or beast, float above the earth; they take to the air with wings. When her subjects are not animals, real or mythological, or people literally raised to a higher level of spirituality ~ have wings will fly ~ her stock-in-trade motifs are replications of Kaliningrad landmarks, such as the now defunct and liquidated former House of Soviets, the refurbished Zalivino lighthouse overlooking the Curonian Lagoon and Königsberg Cathedral.
Based in St Petersburg, Lilya is a regular visitor to Kaliningrad and the Kaliningrad region, from which she derives inspiration and consolidates her sales outlets.
https://vk.com/album-30057230_195486413 Pavel Timofeev has an arts and crafts workshop at Telegraph in Svetlogorsk, where he produces, among other things, leather purses and wallets, men’s and women’s leather bracelets with inscriptions on request, ornamented key rings and a range of fashion jewellery.
His speciality is selling watches with watch-face customisation. The face design can be made to order, with the option of a leather strap in traditional classic or novel styles. The straps can also be personalised.
For examples of Pavel’s watches, please refer to the carousel that appears below this profile:
The room opposite Telegraph’s ‘sitting room’ is its designated art gallery, a well-lit exhibition space with enough wall and floor capacity to showcase umpteen works of local artists. On the occasion of my visit, the art form most conspicuous was assemblages ~ 3D compositions created by taking disparate pieces of whatever it is the artist has scavenged and then arranging or assembling them on a backboard of some description so that the configuration that ensues presents itself as a pictorial image or, from impressions of the whole or its parts, invites interpretation.
Victor Ryabinin, our artist friend from Königsberg, was the man who introduced me to assemblages. His interest in the potential of this technique as a medium for symbolism had him unearthing whatever he could from the remains of Königsberg’s past and putting the pieces together so as to excite in the observer a quest to uncover meaning, either the artist’s or their own.
Since Victor was profoundly immersed in and also deeply disturbed by the eradication of Königsberg, the assemblages that he built from the remnants of destruction often convey a personal sense of irredeemable loss, an inescapable sadness, a wistful but unrequited need for a less tragic end to the city which he dearly loved and in which he loved to live. Victor travelled outside of Königsberg more often and also further than its famous philosopher Immanuel Kant, but he possibly left it less than Kant or anyone else for that matter.
By contrast, the assemblages gathered together under Telegraph’s roof evinced none of this solemnity. They danced a confident riot of bright, effusive colours, orchestrating lively, often comic, images and energising expressive shapes, some fondly reminiscent of the enchanting kind of illustrations that adorned the pages of story books beloved of old-time children, others cleverly more obtuse or playfully cryptographic.
In vivacity of colour and their three-dimensional character, the assemblages reminded me of the kind of shop-front sign boards popular in the Edwardian era, and there was much at work in their composition to insinuate a vintage charm. But the incorporation of parts taken from obsolete engines, metal handles, steel rivets, goggles and the like, plus paraphernalia of various kinds possessing mechanical provenance and rigged to suggest articulation, disclosed a contemporary steampunk influence. Intriguing, all bewitching and also fun to boot, take any one of these assemblages, hang them in your abode and if until now you have felt that your home lacked a conversation piece, trust me when I tell you that this omission will be rectified.
In the Svetlogorsk we know today, cafes, bars, restaurants and places of interest to view and visit exist in appreciable numbers, but every once in a while, one stands out in the crowd: Telegraph is that one.
It may have exchanged its wires and needles for coffee and for art, but the function of the historic building as a centre of communication lives on in its role as a meeting place, and the message that it telegraphs couldn’t be more accommodating: Sit a while, relax, enjoy a beverage and a piece of cake and let your sensibilities flow with the positive vibes that emanate from all that you see and all that you feel around you and from what can be bought and taken home, because the chances are that whatever it is that tickles your fancy in Telegraph, you will never find another like it; the chances are it will be unique.
After browsing, binging, basking and borrowing (borrowing from your friends to pay for the coffee and art, “I’ll see you alright, later …”), especially on those days when the craft-sellers’ stalls are active, in finally heading off for home, you will say to yourself with satisfaction, what an enjoyable day I have had. I am so pleased I read Mick Hart’s blog and was urged by him to get up off of my … ah, to get off of the beaten track.
Telegraph ~ social and cultural space of Svetlogorsk.
Telegraph is a public and cultural space (a centre of urban communities), created by city residents for city residents.
We do not have a director, but we have a working group. We are a community of participants with common goals and values.
Telegraph is located on Ostrovskogo Street in house No. 3 (next to the Post Office).
There are four spaces here:
– a coffee shop (here you can try aromatic fresh coffee) – a living room with an exhibition of works by craftsmen (you can buy local handmade souvenirs) – a gallery (local artists hold exhibitions here) – workshops (pottery and carpentry) – a terrace and a lawn with the longest bench in the city.
Our space regularly hosts meetings of various communities. Any participant can propose an idea for their own project and find like-minded people who will provide the necessary support.
Telegraph exists outside of politics, outside of religion. We are open to new acquaintances/initiatives.
The Telegraph project team deals with city projects and development issues.
Co-working ‘Thoughts’ (Aptechnaya, 10); keys from the barista in the coffee shop; additional conditions by phone +79114839050
How to get from Kaliningrad to Zelenogradsk and Svetlogorsk
18 August 2025 – From Kaliningrad to Zelenogradsk and Svetlogorsk
One of the things that I like about being in Kaliningrad is that it is not far away from the Baltic coast. The main resorts, Zelenogradsk (in German times: Cranz) is approximately 35km (22 miles), a 30-minute drive away, and Svetlogorsk (in German times: Rauschen) is 40km (25 miles), which takes about 40 minutes to drive.
Modern roads and upgraded transport links have improved travel to the Baltic coast no end since the good old days, when all there was in the way of major travel infrastructure was a couple of pre-war German roads with more than their fair share of potholes.
The problem is that whilst the region’s ever-developing tourism infrastructure is fuelling dramatic growth, the good news for the region’s economy is not always good for local travel, as there are days in the height of summer when vehicular demand for the Baltic coast can severely test one’s travelling patience.
Kaliningrad’s tourism record reads like a year-on-year success story, particularly with the impetus it received from restricted overseas travel during the coronavirus era and a continuation of that trend due to evolving geopolitics.
Domestic travel to the Kaliningrad exclave from Russia’s capital city, Moscow, and from other territories inside ‘Big Russia’ appears to have multiplied 10-fold over the past five years. To get a handle on this, you would need to review the statistics, which, with a grade 9 CSE in math, I am disqualified from doing. What does add up, however, is that whichever mode of transport you plan on using to get you from Kaliningrad to Zelenogradsk or Kaliningrad to Svetlogorsk, be it private car, taxi, bus or train, during the height of the tourist season, it pays to avoid peak-time travel.
Here’s some handy information to help you on your way:
Distance from Kaliningrad to Zelenogradsk and to Svetlogorsk by road
Significant disparity on the internet exists regarding the distance between Kaliningrad and Zelenogradsk. I don’t know why it does it, but the distance keeps on changing. Sometimes it is 40km (25 miles), sometimes 34km (21 miles) and sometimes 20km (12.5 miles). It just keeps getting closer or moving further away depending on who you would like to believe. Why not, then, believe me? Thirty-five kilometres (22 miles) seems to be where it’s usually at.
The time it takes to travel from Kaliningrad to Zelenogradsk by private vehicle or by taxi is another debatable issue. Some internet sites say 20 minutes; others, 40 minutes. I would hazard a guess that with a good backwind and favourable traffic fluidity, the journey should take no more than 30 minutes.
The distance between Kaliningrad and Svetlogorsk has a rather less shaky consensus. It appears to hold steady at 40km (25 miles), giving an average time to drive it of 40 minutes.
Taxi from Kaliningrad to Zelenogradsk and Svetlogorsk General rule of thumb: beware of travel and trip advisor websites that purposefully conceal the dates on which they publish content. Case in point: A reasonably well-known travel website, which precludes publication dates, claims that a taxi from Kaliningrad to Svetlogorsk will cost you 600 roubles. To get there at that price, you will first need to take a time machine to a point in the distant past when things were a whole lot cheaper.
The average taxi fare from Kaliningrad to Zelenogradsk is 700-1000 roubles (£6.45-£9.20), with the lower end of the tariff being the least likely of the available options.
The average taxi fare from Kaliningrad to Svetlogorsk is 1000-2000 roubles (£9.20-£18.40).
Taxi Services: Whether you use an app, call the cab office, or hail a cab on the street, Kaliningrad is no different from any other city in the world: always agree on the fare before entering the vehicle. The majority, if not all, of Kaliningrad taxis are now meter-based, so if you take one off the street, the driver may just point to the meter when you ask the important question, “How much will it cost?” Whether you accept this answer will depend on how trusting you are and how well you cope with suspense.I, for one, am rather fond of a ballpark figure/estimate.
Buses from Kaliningrad to Zelenogradsk and Svetlogorsk
The city’s main bus terminal is a short walk away from Kaliningrad’s Southern Railway Station (Kaliningrad-South) (Kaliningrad-Yuzhny).
It takes approximately one hour by bus from Kaliningrad to Zelenogradsk and from Kaliningrad to Svetlogorsk, about one hour and 15 minutes.
The bus fare to Zelenogradsk is approximately 100 roubles (90p)
The bus fare to Svetlogorsk is approximately 155 roubles (£1.43)
Buses to Zelenogradsk and to Svetlogorsk leave Kaliningrad Bus Terminal approximately every 20 minutes.
If you are catching the bus from the main bus terminal, you must purchase your ticket at the terminal itself. Automated gates are now in operation, and you will need to have your ticket at hand for scanning validation.
Buses to Zelenogradsk and Svetlogorsk also leave from a stop opposite Kaliningrad’s Northern Railway Station (Kaliningrad-North) (Severny Vokzal) on Soviet Avenue (Sovetsky Prospekt). If you are not working to your own strict timetable, you can wander down to this stop, check the destinations of each bus as they dock, select the one you want, hop aboard and buy your ticket.
The last bus from Kaliningrad to Zelenogradsk leaves at 21:30.
The last bus from Zelenogradsk to Kaliningrad leaves at 21:30.
The last bus from Kaliningrad to Svetlogorsk leaves at 22:30.
The last bus from Svetlogorsk to Kaliningrad leaves at 22:30.
The line number of the bus to Zelenogradsk is 141 and to Svetlogorsk 118.
Train from Kaliningrad to Zelenogradsk and Svetlogorsk The journey by train from Kaliningrad to Zelenogradsk takes approximately 35-45 minutes, and from Kaliningrad to Svetlogorsk, about 1 hour and 30 minutes.
Trains depart from Kaliningrad’s Southern Railway Station (Kaliningrad-South) (Kaliningrad-Yuzhny) multiple times per day.
Stops on the way are displayed visually on a screen in each carriage and delivered audibly by an automated voice, which is conveniently broadcast both in Russian and in English. When travelling by train to Svetlogorsk, please be aware that the final destination is Svetlogorsk-2, so don’t alight at Svetlogorsk-1 unless this is the stop you are aiming for.
The train fare to Zelenogradsk-Noviy Station is approximately 100 roubles (92p)
The train fare to Svetlogorsk 2 Station is approximately 125 roubles (£1.15)
So, there you have it. Whether you drive it, bus it, go by taxi or take a train, Zelenogradsk and Svetlogorsk are right on Kaliningrad’s doorstep. Follow my advice, and I guarantee you’ll know you’ve arrived when you finally get there.
