The Hotel Russ, Svetlogorsk

27 December 2000

I recently visited the Hotel Russ (August 2019). It is interesting to observe what has changed in the past 20 years and what has not. The following description is taken from my notes of the Hotel Russ as it was on that celebrated day in 2000 when we first arrived in Russia, almost 20 years ago. Later, we hope to write a review of what it is like to stay in the Russ today. Meanwhile, this was our first experience …

Having passed through the main gate of the Hotel Russ in Svetlogorsk, we followed the path along the side of the building to the entrance. Two large glass doors opened up into a wide, airy and spacious foyer. You could not miss the reception area as it was elevated and had the word ‘Reception’ emblazoned across it, surprisingly in English.

Previous article: Kaliningrad: First Impression

To get there necessitated climbing up two or three steps onto a wider platform and then approaching the bar. I do not mean the sort you get in pubs; this experience was rather more similar to approaching the bar in court (as far as I am aware).

The two young ladies behind the counter were, well, beautiful springs to mind, but it was a cold, unsmiling kind of beauty; the next word that sprung to mind was ‘’officious and, after that, ‘very’. Olga did the talking; we did the looking and the walking.

From our elevated position we could see that on one side of us there was, indeed, a bar. We both felt instantly better ~ who said ‘at home’?

The bar area contained the usual outcrops of tables and chairs, which extended down one side to the end of the building. The chairs were chromium backed and the round tables marbled topped. Indeed, marble ~ or simulated marble ~appeared to be the material of the day within the Hotel Russ. To the left of us, in front of the bar, stood a row of tall, square-section pillars, which fanned out in vaulted form before folding into the ceiling. One of the pillars was decorated with artificial shrubs and climbing plants and beneath it we could hear a water feature bubbling

The area beyond the pillars was effectively the hotel lounge. It was well appointed, with a bank of windows which extended along the entire side of the room and soared up into the heavens above. The ceiling was very high, and if you stood in this lavish area, with its reproduction antique furniture and comfy, cushioned divans, and looked up at the ceiling it was evident  they had designed the Russ to look like an ocean liner, complete with curving staircase that took you up majestically onto the upper deck.

As grand as they were, we did not take the steps. Our luggage was extremely heavy and bulky, even discounting the Sausage, so we took the lift instead.

A tall, thin man, with a face he had purchased from Serious & Co, was summoned to help us with our luggage. He came across the room in a most peculiar way, but it was not until he turned back again towards the lift with a couple of bags, including the Sausage, which were far too heavy for him to manage, that my brother, with an alacrity of mind that was so atypical that he must have borrowed it for the occasion, identified the gait as ‘mincing’. From that moment on, our tall assistant would be known to us as Mincer and Mincer he became.

For a big hotel the lift was little. It was also not very wide. Certainly not wide enough for Olga, Joss, myself, two hefty cases, the Sausage and Mr Mincer. We got in and were all squashed up, something like Dad’s Army when they all crowd into the vicar’s office. There was nothing for it, something would have to give. So Olga got out and walked upstairs. There goes another myth, ‘the typical English gentlemen’.

It was a small lift and it was also a very slow lift. It did not start moving straightaway. Titter ye not, I thought, but it was hard not to all cramped up like that with Mincer looking so serious. But we knew better than to laugh in Russia ~ thank heavens for the stiff upper lip.

Ping, went the lift, at last. I felt as if we had travelled to the top of the Empire State Building not just to the first floor. Joss and I squeezed out and Mincer followed, or he would have done had not the mischievous Sausage found another small door to straddle. We helped our hapless baggage boy out and relieved him of the obnoxious case.

We were now standing in a wide area overlooking the bar, three or four tables and chairs around the perimeter and a pool table in the centre. The rooms on this floor were arranged around an oblong balcony with the centrepiece open and from which you could look down onto the floor below.

The first room that we entered was the one reserved for my brother, Joss. It was not bad at all. A little formal, perhaps, by British standards, I mean not at all like Mrs Musson’s Guest House at number six No-Beach Brightlingsea, but lacking nothing in the clean, neat, tidy and comfortable department.

In addition to the usual appurtenances, Joss had a large, three-quarter size bed and a rubber plant.

Next it was our room, which was on the other side of the balcony facing the Rus garden. In we went, all excited, only to discover that our double room was smaller than Joss’ single and that whilst he had a double bed ~ of sorts ~ we had two singles?

My brother has always been a true gentleman, mostly by accident, and today was one of those, because he surprised us all, including himself (and that doesn’t happen very often) by making the supreme sacrifice: he was willing to give his room up for ours ~ to swap rooms.

Isn’t it obvious!?

Feeling altogether sensible Olga went downstairs to reception to request the transfer. She was back almost quicker than she went with the intelligence that we could not change rooms as Joss had a single room and we had a double, so any change was impossible. The exact response from the ladies at reception had been, “Isn’t it obvious: the single room is for the single person and the double for two people”.

To say that we were not perplexed would be an understatement and Olga, perceiving that her two English associates had been skittled, left them sitting on the bed in Joss’ room, to which we had retreated, sipping vodka thoughtfully out of a hip flask, whilst she went off ‘to see what could be done’.

Ten minutes later she returned. “It’s OK, they are taking care of it,” she assured us.

And they were, sure enough, but not in the way they might have done it back home. As we walked past the open door to our bedroom, we caught sight of the solution to the problem, in the shape of two burly Russian gentleman moving the single beds together and securing the legs at either end with two thick pieces of rope. This made us chuckle; Olga was not amused. She was also not very amused as in passing the upper extremities of the Christmas tree, which extended from the ground floor up through the oval aperture almost to the roof, Joss noted that there was no adorning fairy or star on the top. His suggestion to hang an old pair of underpants on it was a step too far in the smutty English humour direction for Olga, and she went from feeling annoyed to visibly irritated.

To take the wind out of her sails (my brother was also suffering from wind, and she was not too amused about that, either), I suggested a tour around the hotel to get ourselves familiarised with it. At such a time when many companies were still in the embryonic stage of website development, surprisingly enough the Russ was ahead of itself, and we had been able to appraise the quality of this 4-Star hotel by consulting its site ahead of our trip.

As we descended, this time by the grand staircase, we met Mincer on the ground floor, and Olga asked him if we could see the sports centre. “It’s broken,” he replied.

Joss and I shot a glance at each other: perhaps something was lost in translation?

Broken or not our guide continued. We followed him down a short flight of stairs into what appeared to be a typical sports centre changing room, wide and open with slatted bench seats around the wall. We then turned right into a passageway. Against the wall stood an exercise bike, its front wheel hanging off. Mincer said something. Olga translated: “Broken,” she said.

There was little point in arguing. But what about the swimming pool, surely the wheel could not have fallen off that.

It had not. But it had shrunk. On the photographs it appeared to be a full-size pool, whereas, in real life, it was a large, deep bathtub into which one plunged after vacating the sauna. Was the sauna working? Er …

Fully refreshed after our workout, we returned to our respective rooms. Olga had made arrangements to meet with her friend, Helen, the plan being that we would venture into Svetlogorsk for a drink, but what was needed now was a cup of tea and a refreshing bath.

Don’t drink the water

Spoilt by literally having drinking water on tap in England, Olga had alerted us to the fact that in the Kaliningrad region it was strictly a case of ‘don’t drink the water’. I wondered whether it could be as bad as we had been led to believe. The answer came when I began to fill the bathtub. To say that the water was black may well be an overstatement, but it was certainly getting that way. We called Joss in from his room to witness this hitherto unseen spectacle, and then we had Olga ring to reception to report the anomaly. Her reply was, “Isn’t it obvious? You must let the water run!” So, we did exactly that, until we feared that we had dissipated half of Svetlogorsk’s water reserves. Oh, well, we would have to forgo the bath. But what about something to eat? Something simple, such as a cheese and tomato sandwich prior to going out on the town? Our request, by phone to reception, was met with some confusion. The person who took the call had to consult with somebody else. Eventually we were informed that we could have two slices of bread, some cheese and tomatoes on the side of the plate, but they could not do a sandwich. Well, I thought, isn’t it obvious!

It was around this time that we received a phone call to reception from another of Olga’s friends. Olga telephoned the friend in return and was invited to go out somewhere for a drink. As we had a prior engagement, we declined, but Joss solved the double commitment by electing to meet up with the second party whilst we went ahead with our original plans.

Joss’ company arrived first. They were a couple, both persons of which were, I thought, most refined in dress and in manner. What would they make of my brother, I mused, as they whisked him away for the evening?

Olga’s friend, Helen, arrived a few minutes later: attractive, very sweet natured but, I thought, rather, and unduly, concerned about my first impressions of Svetlogorsk. I had no idea as to why this apprehension should constitute the status quo in these parts, although I realised later that in the year 2000, apart from Germans returning to the region to see where their family once lived, foreigners were quite a rare species and English men perfectly alien.

Out into the cold ~ very cold ~ and snow-laden night we ventured, retracing the route that our taxi had taken. We had difficulty walking, the snow was that thick and, where it was not, it was that icy. Also, as I had observed earlier, there were little or no streetlights of which to speak.

Our pedestrianisation seemed to go on forever, until we took a right turn in the direction of the sea. We eventually reached the top of a steep bank of steps. I could hear the sea in the near distance and feel the sea air ~ it was as sharp as the proverbial razor blade! Carefully, very carefully, we picked our way down the gallery of steps until we reached the promenade. Directly in front of us stood a man-made and man height (sorry about the lack of PCism) sundial, the wedge-shaped blade reflecting what light there was as it cut its way upwards from the ground. I took hold of this blade, and, in listening to the rolling sound of the tide, thought to myself, “I’m actually here!” (Do not forget, dear reader, that having read or heard nothing positive about Russia since I was a child and, more recent to the time of my trip, having been the recipient of negative media coverage from, without exception, every UK media source available and, in particular official channels (no change there, then!)  make no mistake that being in Russia was a truly awesome thought!)

It used to be

The icy blast across the Baltics rendered any further deliberation untenable, and we cut a hasty retreat. It had been somewhat easier descending than ascending, and we stopped at the top of the steps to catch our breath. To our left there were a couple of derelict buildings, about which Helen volunteered some information as to what they used to be. By the time we had reached our destination, a café-bar close to Svetlogorsk centre, ‘this used to be’ had developed into a catchphrase. We passed several collapsing or deserted structures all of which had been ‘Used to Bees’.

A welcome sight was a little neon sign marking the spot where a café-bar stood. As we drew closer, I could make out a single-storey building with a glass door. There was nothing else around the building. Today, as with most of Svetlogorsk, this area has been developed, but the little café into which I first took refuge on 27 December 2000 is, I am pleased to say, still there and still functioning and nothing much, if anything, has changed!

Inside, the café was a simple rectangular room, tables ranged down either side and in the far corner to the right a small semi-circular or curved bar. The establishment was neither grand nor overtly plain. The lighting was just right ~ not too bright, not too dim ~ and the walls were conservatively decorated with framed pictures of the Svetlogorsk coastline and town. Most importantly, on a night like this, it was cosy, comfortable and warm ~ and, of course, it was also licensed.

I cannot remember what lager I drank that evening. I did not really bother. As a seasoned real-ale drinker, I had made my mind up in advance that anything lagerish would be poor, but I drank it all the same.

My one abiding memory of this establishment, and one that would stay with me for a long time, was that there was only one toilet, and it was unisex. This perplexed me a little. There were only three other people apart from us in the bar, but, when the establishment was full, how did a one-toilet system work? The other thing that surprised me about this odd Russian toilet arrangement was that you were unable to use the facility unless you asked for a key from the bar. I would learn later that this inconvenient convenience was by no means a one-off and in some places today the tradition has not moved on much!

I also learnt this evening that whenever I spoke English in a café or a restuarant I would be looked at ~ and I do not mean in the sense of a casual glance! As I noted earlier, foreigners were a rare thing in ‘these ‘ere parts’ and when you were looked at you were really looked at. I believe that throughout the 45 minutes we were in this bar, the other inhabitants, bar staff included, never took their eyes off me, not for a single moment.

We moved on, not because of this, but to pastures anew. If anything, our brief sojourn and the comfort afforded by it, had rendered the great outdoors even more hostile, or perhaps the temperature was dropping even further.

Café Mozart , Svetlogorsk

Luckily, we had only walked a short distance before another neon sign glowed its way into our vision: in a purple-red flowing script, it identified the building on which it was erected as the Café Mozart.

I will never forget that first encounter with the Mozart. The building was well lit on this extremely murky but atmospheric evening, a large picture window flooding the ground with light outside, whilst other lit windows and external lamps threw patches of light onto this and that aspect of the building and wove shadows above and around, picking out and hiding at will the nooks, crannies, decor and detail of what was unequivocally a fine example of the Gothic Revival style. As we approached, the wooden slatted and clad exterior put me in mind of early 20^th century American Romanticist architecture, but it was far too chilly a night to bring this contemplation to a proper conclusion.

Inside the building, large and spacious as it was, there was a traditional dance floor to the right, complete with revolving glitter ball, and to the left a good-sized lounge with a welcoming fire. Although this was not a real log fire but a gas-fired replica, it made the interior very cosy indeed. Comfortable bench seats lined the window, with armchairs and sofas scattered here and there inviting you to sink into them, an over-mantle mirror hung above the fireplace, which may or may not have been authentic antique, and various framed pictures adorned the wallpapered walls, the mood lighting from a combination of pendant and wall-mounted lamps making this habitat the perfect choice for reasonable refreshment and good conversation.

As for the latter, most of that revolved around what it was like to live in England and the English way of life. I would soon learn that the Russian vision of Merry England was as quaintly outdated as our authorised version of what it was like to live in Russia today.

Sad to say, the Mozart, which had affected me with such appealing and positive vibes, closed shortly after this visit ~ at least it was closed when I returned a year later, never to re-open in the same style. Six months ago, the building was up for sale. It has been on the market for a long while and may still be for sale today.

Related: Hotel Russ 2020

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