Published: 22 October 2021 ~ Kaliningrad Leaves Autumn to the Leaf Suckers
I am not precisely sure when it was, but I know that I converted to the religion of insomnia many, many years ago, during which time, having lived in numerous, too numerous to recall, properties, I have lain awake at night, or, indeed, have woken during the night, listening to the sounds of the world on the other side of my window.
Naturally, every different place in which we find ourselves sleeping, or not, as the case may be, possesses its own external world of noise, its own audible signature, and Königsberg-Kaliningrad is no exception.
For the sake of brevity and the object of this article, let us hastily pass over tempting references to unthinking ‘dugs’ and thoughtless ‘dug’ owners, both doing what they do because they haven’t the sense to do otherwise, and focus instead on a noise, or noises, the type of which are pertinent to and typical to no other but Kaliningrad at night.
During the summer months, night noises in cities and towns, wherever these places may be, are plentiful and variegated, because universally the heat of the night invariably brings forth denizens, particularly young denizens, whose expression of the first flush of yoof is noise. ‘Hey, I’m alive! I must make a racket!”: Bum, de Bum, de Bum (In case you are wondering what that is, it is the world-over urban sound of a delinquent’s ignorant base-beater.).
But even in the summer months, against the backdrop of predictable noises, such as someone staggering home with a skinful or someone with a motorbike thrust between their legs, there are strange noises, weird noises that once having entered your consciousness refuse to let go or give up, until, to the best of your ability, you either solve their mystery or surrender to their influence and fall asleep in spite of them.
For a long period, and the night is long when sleep is in an elusive mood, I focussed my deductive powers on the source of a low-humming drone. And yet it was some time, successive early mornings later, before the identity of my preoccupations decided to make itself known to me. What I had been listening to was neither a space ship nor banshee, a hover car or a hole in a trumpet, it was in fact a road sweeper or, to be more precise, a lowly street cleansing vehicle: a truck that trundles about the city sloshing water around the street when normal people are sleeping.
Kaliningrad Leaves Autumn to the Leaf Suckers
It was yesterday, at 4am. I was thinking about the usual things, the ghosts of pub crawls past, QR-coded existence, all I was going to do in life, should have done, might still do, but might not have time to do them now ~ you know how the gospel goes for we insomniacs ~ when I heard what at first impressed me as the sound of a distant street slosher. I lay there for a good twenty minutes, using the constancy of this sound, its soothing continuity, to lull me into further thoughts, tranquil and obsessive, before it eventually dawned on me that this was the month of October and that the days of summer dust-damping had been succeeded by autumn leaves.
There was the clue I needed! Fellow insomniasts will understand when I say that we who need sleep, just as much as you do, but don’t get it, are no strangers to Eureka moments that fly phantom-like from out of the darkness and keep us awake even more! That long, that mid-range humming tone to which my thoughts were singing and which had occupied my mind as if it was a reference library, was not the sound of water on dust, it was nothing of the sort. It was the steady rhythmic lilt emanating from the suction hoses of the pre-dawn leaf-sucking lorries!
Have you taken leaves of your senses?
Cast your mind back, if you please, to a post I wrote in 2020. In that post I stated that Kaliningrad is a green city, a city full of trees. Yes, in the summer of 2020, I wrote, Kaliningrad is a green city, to which I should add, and now will, that in autumn it turns yellow, as well as orange, red, russet, purple and many shades of brown. This is because trees, unlike many of us, are not known for insomnia. In the autumn they get busy, shedding their leaves in the imminent countdown to winter, when all as one will sleep. And in places where there are lots of trees about to bed down for winter, there are also lots of fallen leaves.
Thus, for the past three weeks or so, gangs of Kaliningrad leaf shufflers have been marshalling piles of leaves, stacking them at the sides of streets and raking them up from lawns and verges. Both by day, but mainly by night, when you are asleep and we are awake, the leaf-sucking lorries and flat-bed trucks crawl stealthily out of their depots to ply their trade on Königsberg’s cobbles and Kaliningrad’s highways and byways.
If you cannot shut them worry not, it is truly a sight for sore eyes, and the distinctive hum is not so bad. Think of it as an autumn lullaby, played for you and for me by the Loyal Fill Those Trucks Up Orchestra.
And so it makes you think. And lying there in the dark, steals you away to a time so far away in your youth that it may never have really happened ~ if it was not because in the night, there, alone in the dark, you have to place your trust in something, so why not your mind and its memory?
When I was a young boy, and I was never anything else when young, growing up in a small English village at a time when Arsebook and PlayStation were but devious twinkles in the ‘me, myself, I’ of a neoliberal’s bank account, I found that I was fascinated by the tarmac gangs resurfacing the road; the dustbin men collecting the rubbish; the drain unblockers unblocking the drains; the road sweepers sweeping the roadsides; and last, but by no means least, the crème de la crème of them all, the men who rode around in a tanker into which they emptied the house latrines ~ the all-important ‘Bucket Men’!
In fact, I was so took up with this last profession that when my well-to-do auntie and uncle visited us at our family home, and I was asked in an imperious voice by an omnipotent-looking lady all done up in a large fur coat, “So, tell me Michael, when you grow up what do you want to be?” Instead of answering a doctor, lawyer or banker, which is what I suppose she wanted to hear, I replied, with childlike candour, “I want to be a bucket man!”
Granted, perhaps not the most salubrious or rewarding of vocations, but at that particular time, when connection to mains sewerage was far from universal in small villages, the necessity of the bucket man, even more than the leaf-sucking lads, commanded a certain respect. However, every ‘dug’ has its day (bang!) and the day of the bucket man (I think it was Tuesday?) came and inevitably went, driven eventually to extinction by the triumphant rise of the bucket-man-free self-propelling flush lavatory.
How fortuitous then that I eventually went into publishing, and also how lucky I was to have narrowly missed working on newspapers. Mind you, if I had gone in for news media, would it have been so very much different in terms of substance, stirring and shovelling to what would have been my lot had I found an opening in bucket toilets. Let me in hindsight be thankful for one and romance lament for the other.
With the humming still in my ears, I returned from the place where my auntie still stands to this day. She has taken root in my memory; her face all shocked and dumbfounded. Meanwhile, in my thoughtful unsleep, I offered a prayer of thanks to the nocturnal Kaliningrad leaf suckers* for autumnal services rendered when everyone else, except for us, are sound asleep in their beds zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.
(*sounds like the sort of lyrics Frank Zappa would have been proud of!).
Woke Watch PC UK! {Case 4} Those Magnificent Gender-Neutrals in their Flying Machines
“This is your Captain speaking, I may have a male voice, but don’t let that fool you! Welcome to flight B for Bandit, three letters starting with a B, 0707 gender-neutral heaven. We are currently cruising at 35,000 feet under a rainbow with pink varnish on our toenails. Our estimated arrival at the Isle of Person is recommended as the weather is bright and gay, so I am not allowed to fly you anywhere else. Please continue to keep you seat belts fastened, as we are expecting some politically correctly turbulence as we fly through EU air space and flak over Berlin. May I take this opportunity to welcome you aboard. Thank you, whatever you think you are and what Nature will never allow you to be, for flying Woke Airlines today.”
Just when you thought that the UK could not get more Woke, the country’s flagship carrier British Airways leapfrogs into the PC queue with its announcement that it is dropping the very British and very correct salutation, ‘Ladies and Gentlemen’. Presumably, concerned that the whingeing, whining, hand wringing, bed-wetting gender-neutral brigade might shoot them down with accusations of being too binary, British Airways have scrambled to copy airlines from other woke-oriented countries, such as Canada, for example, and Germany, lifting off on a non-scheduled flight to destinations unknown ~ in non-woke speak they have jettisoned an age-old and perfectly respectful tradition without, according to media reports, having any clear idea of what they will replace it with.
WOKE WATCH UK!
When I first heard the news that the Jerries had dropped the phrase ‘Ladies & Gentlemen’, it came as no surprise to me. I mean the Luftwaffe are well known for dropping things, usually thousands of tons of high explosives on Western Europe and the Soviet Union, and, let’s face it, they always were inclusive. I mean when they were out on a bombing spree, they didn’t fly around and around attempting to miss LGBTs. And then someone corrected me; not about the Luftwaffe and LGBTs but that it was another German company, not the Luftwaffe, that had dropped ‘Ladies & Gentlemen’. Sigh, some things never change.
Those Magnificent Gender-Neutrals in their Flying Machines
But what-a mistake-a to make-a. My sincere apologies. I am not much of a flyer. I would never have known that British Airways was anything to do with Britain if it was not written on the sides of their aircraft, and now that ‘Ladies & Gentlemen’ is about to be replaced with, what? ~ ‘Good morning LGBTs, its, others, refugees, multicults, perverts, terrorists, knee-takers, statue-removers and ‘I’ve had my vaccine’ Facebook clones etc’ ~ nor would you.
If it wasn’t for the fact that my suggested salutation is a fair appraisal of where we are at in modern-day UK, you would not know who they are, who you are and what that thing sitting next to you is, would you? Will they include extraterrestrials?
In the words of my retired scientist friend, Martin: “It’s all so peculiar. What shall we do first, blow the satellites out of the sky or gas the sink estates?”
That is probably not the answer. But, instead of ingratiating themselves with the wrong uns, couldn’t British Airways and the other dominoes simply have replaced the no-smoking symbol with an illuminated red bar that lights up across the word WOKE as their planes prepare for take-off? Or even just edit the old signs: ‘No Smoking’ to ‘No Woking’ ~ being careful, of course, to ensure that whoever undertakes this task knows how to spell the word ‘Woking’. There’s no point in being too accurate.
Those Magnificent Gender-Neutrals in their Flying Machines
If it wasn’t so amusing, it would jerk out more tears than Gone With The Wind ~ which just about sums it up really. It’s nothing but a storm in a teacup, or should that be an airline company in a colander?
Whilst I wait expectantly for the gender-neutral sequel of Star Trek, “to gayly go where no man thing has gone before”, previous generations of legacy English ladies and gentlemen observing our world from a better past might find consolation in the incontrovertible fact that as any street after 11 pm in any town in the UK denotes, there are very few ‘ladies & gentlemen’ left to address. In the present twisted nature of things, we could always argue our case on the basis of minority, but there really seems little point. If we are to ‘gayly go’ at warped speed to the gender-bending place that they are so bent on sending us, why make the trip in a handcart when you can travel first class Woke. Just fasten your seat belts, extinguish political correctness and don’t forget to laugh. History certainly will.
Thank you, Ladies & Gentlemen, for reading my post.
Published: 4 October 2021 ~ Pondering on the future of Kaliningrad Pond
There are two lakes in Kaliningrad that are not lakes, they are in fact man-made water features and, as such, their real nomenclature is ‘pond’, even though rural English folk of a certain age will find it difficult and anomalous to reconcile such large expanses of water with their concept of a traditional pond, which used to be ~ as there are not many left now ~ a small, generally muddy-looking round thing sitting in a field or in the centre of a village ~ sometimes with ducks on top.
Pondering on the future of Kaliningrad Pond
Königsberg has two ponds, interconnecting: the Lower Pond is the oldest, believed to have been constructed in 1256, with the Upper Pond following in 1270.
The building that is the subject of my post today, must have appeared sometime in the early millennial years.
To say that the building was an odd fish to have been washed up on the side of this acute bend in the Upper Pond would be beyond the pale of understatement.
My first recollection of it was in 2015. We sat outside on a bright May morning, consuming a snack in the ornamental garden.
My first impression was that it looked like something that had sneaked out of a tired old British seaside resort, like Mablethorpe for example, and had taken root in this small corner of Russia on an even smaller corner of Königsberg’s Upper Pond in the dark depths of an unremarkable night.
From the water’s edge and the elevated pavement that runs along the pond’s borders, the front of the building is highly visible, since it occupies pride of place on a small but grandstanding eminence. Had it been built correctly, that is to say of the right materials and been less of a prefabbed rectangle, it may have added something exceptional to the attractiveness of the waterside scene instead of subtracting from it, but that opportunity has long since elapsed, and so here it stands today ~ at least for the moment but not perhaps for much longer, perhaps not even tomorrow.
Of no particular recommendation, all windows and block-like, but softened in summer by the trees that surround it, by the natural lie of the land and the happily gathering verdure, the front elevation of this building on a budget does not have much to offer and does not become particularly striking or even reasonably engaging until one turns the corner of the street, when then, and only then, does the full benefit of its maritime kitsch beguile one.
From this approach the building’s thematic premise offers itself for closer inspection. A man standing on a ship which is standing on the roof is an obvious place to start and might make sense if the restaurant on which they are anchored overlooked the Atlantic Ocean, but as the building does no such thing, it embroiders Königsberg’s pond, we will forego logic and place what faith we have left in the buoyancy ring of aesthetics.
At their lower level, the walls of the building are decorated with white and blue appliqués, which are clearly meant to resemble waves. The technique is replicated in the moulded bas relief of a wave-encompassed sailing ship that dominates the front-side wall and emerges again in the intertwining arabesque of mythical human forms set within trees of wave-like character, which flank an entrance aspirant to the essence of Art Deco.
Above the stylised wave formation, imitation wood cladding has been used to good effect to simulate the timbers of a 19th century sailing ship. These rise steadily upward to form the hull of the stern, which juts out jauntily at roof level from the corner of the building above the pavement and people walking. On the quarterdeck itself, his hands astride the rails, stands an effigy of a ship’s captain peering out to sea, except there is no sea to see, just trees, pavements, people and traffic and perhaps if he cranes to the left a little an inkling of Youth Park.
Beneath this surprisingly detailed mannequin, just above floor level, resting against the ship, sits a large terrestrial globe. That’s it, over there: underneath the parasol on top of the ice cream fridge!
The nautical theme travels on around to the back of the building where, on the corner opposite Captain Ahab, stood, until a few days ago, a silvered-metal and rivetted lighthouse, partly reclaimed by nature, who, over the period of desertion, had garbed it in a thick green mantle of all-enveloping, cascading ivy.
In Mablethorpe a building such as this would have gone down well amongst the amusement arcades, bingo halls, working men’s clubs, souvenir shops and candy floss emporiums, but here it looked a bit out of place. No, correction: it looked a lot out of place. To add to the ambiguous spectacle, the garden that belongs to it was once tasteful and rather twee. It consisted of four or five gazebos of differing shapes, with fretwork wooden walls and reed thatched roofs, tucked away and surrounded by exotic trees and shrubs that lent to the whole a secluded quality of oriental character.
Pondering on the future of Kaliningrad Pond
In May 2015, shortly after four of us had partaken of lunch in the gardens, these almost exquisite surroundings, through no fault of our own, closed, together with the establishment to which they had belonged, and remained closed, deteriorating month on month, year after year, persisting in that decline until something stirred in the garden this spring. That something was a chain saw. Trees and bushes were coming down and, swiftly with them, buildings.
Whilst the loss of the ornamental garden was a blow softened by the neglect and abandonment to which it had been subjected, what was destined to take its place prompted speculation. Presuming that the building would soon go the same way as its garden, I arrived at the conclusion that I ought to snap some pictures.
The photographs that illustrate this post were taken in the opening weeks of summer 2021 and later in September of the same year.
The garden as we knew it has, indeed, gone, to be replaced by? Well, you tell me. It all looks very functional, whatever that function is, but the organic nature of its predecessor, both regarding its planted ground and sequestered, blending buildings, is now nothing more than a pleasant memory, starkly superseded by what amounts to a bit of a mismatch.
The regeneration has already included the disappearance of the rooftop lighthouse. I always suspected it was a nuclear missile! And Captain Ahab, who still stares over the taffrail, looks decidedly nervous, as though he knows he is on the verge of losing his commission and having in the process his gimbals snatched away.
Witnessing what is happening up the garden path, the next question surely must be what is in store for the building? Will it be stripped of its nautical heritage and reclad as something more unfortunate? Or will it be knocked down? Will it rise again from the depth of demolition? And will it eventually be serving beer? Enjoy these historic photos and continue to watch this space!
Published: 23 September 2021 ~ An Englishman at the Dreadnought Kaliningrad
Every Jazz lover knows that the best jazz is played in underground basements. Where else would you find a basement? And Kaliningrad’s Dreadnought is one such place.
Billing itself as a ‘legendary English pub’, you would be hard pushed to find a pub like it anywhere in England, but what it most certainly is, is an excellent atmospheric bar-come-music venue and a subterranean supper’s delight, boasting best beers from around the world, including eight permanent and six guest beers on draught.
No need to ask why I was there, then.
An Englishman at the Dreadnought, Kaliningrad
A short walk from Kaliningrad’s Victory Square, down some steps and you are in the Dreadnought. The roomy entrance hall tells you immediately what you can expect. The Union Jack mat, the large wall painting of a gauntlet-covered fist holding a key and a second painting of the eponymous dreadnought battleship, the concrete section walls roughly skimmed with paint: This is a no-frills place, mate; hip, modern, up to date; good music, good beer, young people and me.
Undaunted, I stood on the Union Jack and had my photograph taken and did the same again in front of the dreadnought painting.
Dreadnought’s basement is open plan, but it isn’t exactly. It feels that way because there are no doors, just entrances, so you get the unique ambivalence of airiness whilst sitting in a rabbit warren.
An anteroom immediately in front of the music room enables you to listen to the bands from a distance. The main room, where the bands play, is ‘L’ shaped and divided into three sections by narrowed widths minus doors.
Choice of seats range from high oval tables lined with tall, backed, bar stools on heavy cast-iron bases, low tables with bench seats on either side and, closest to the stage, comfortable-looking captain’s chairs, the sort that swivel nicely and are covered in brown leatherette.
I liked our reserved table. It was one of the tall ones, with high stools on heavy industrial bases. I always like a table where I can sit with my back to the wall. Why not? Look what happened to Wild Bill Hickok!
On the subject of reserved tables, Kaliningrad grows more popular each year, so, if you have a particular place in mind where you want to wine and dine or down a few beers, be advised that you’d best reserve a table or face the possible inconvenience of wandering around from bar to bar ad infinitum. This is particularly true on a Saturday night.
An Englishman at the Dreadnought Kaliningrad
As anybody who follows jazz can tell you, improvisation and spontaneity are highly valued, and I get the impression that Dreadnought knows this. Improvisation and spontaneity have been built into the décor. The basement is basic, real basic, for the walls and the ceiling follows that modern trend where all is exposed and on display: the electrical fittings, wires, heating and ventilation pipes, structural supports and so on. The lighting, even with the many traditional ceiling sockets, is subdued and the industrial-style suspended lamps that dangle over the tables halo the glow with limited dispersal.
Likewise, the interior décor is minimal; its artiness is controlled, aspiring towards the extemporised look, to give that laid-back, unobtrusive but thoroughly engaging appeal.
The British theme, which comes with the dreadnought name, is carried over from the hall into the music room by the further use of Union Jack curtains which, in keeping with the retro theme of the early 20th century, have worn and distressed stage managed into them.
Principal to the decor in the entertainments room are two large wall paintings. Although in content these are naval associated, the style in which they are painted is distinctly 1940s’ United States Air Force. They are, in fact, nose-art replicas, featuring leggy, stocking-clad, frolicking females, partly dressed in uniform, with flirtatious come-hither looks.
The one nearest to our table had its coquette perched on top of a sharks’ teeth painted torpedo set against a billowing wave with ‘On the Wave’ written across the foam, which I imagine should rightly read ‘on the crest of a wave’. The other had its flirty part-uniformed female draped across the suggestive gun barrels of a dreadnought class destroyer. Both pictures are fun and colourful, although historically neither one, or anything vaguely like them, would have been tolerated by the Royal Navy’s upper echelons or likewise by, and especially by, the Royal Air Force, and as such this type of artwork strictly remains an American idiosyncrasy.
There is yet another room in the Dreadnought’s arsenal, which, if you are unaware of it, you are likely to come across on your way to the toilet. It put me in mind of a typical American bar, where the rooms are long and narrow and the clientele perch on tall bar stools at the front of the serving counter that runs the length of the room. The hubbub, which was busy but not rowdy, the clever lighting and silhouette wall-art of the dreadnought’s heavy guns, coalesced to create an ambience that took me back to those heady days of university campus bars.
Food is served at the Dreadnought, but as we had already eaten at the Greek restaurant El Greco’s, I will make no attempt to comment on either the variety or quality of the food. See the Essential Details section at the end of this post , where you will find the Dreadnought’s website address and the food it has on offer.
I had already drunk beer at El Greco’s but that did not stop me drinking beer at the Dreadnought. My choice of beer this evening was Maisel’s Weisse. It’s a German beer which, from experience, agrees with me, although as I sat there drinking it I could distinctly feel those heavy guns from the Royal Navy’s dreadnoughts bearing down on my fraternisation.
An Englishman at the Dreadnought, Kaliningrad
The Dreadnought hosts different kinds of music but tonight, as I have noted, the stage was set for jazz. My appreciation of jazz is reserved more or less to the emerging and principal swing years of the 1920s to the 1940s. Anything outside of this I tend to regard as background music, some of which I like and some which quite frankly jars. I am pleased to say, however, that Dreadful at the Dreadnought were not performing on the evening of our visit, and all of our party agreed that what we heard we liked.
Another plus in the Dreadnought’s favour is that the music is transmitted at an agreeable volume, meaning that you can hear it, appreciate it and still can hear yourself think and talk. How many times have you been to a music venue where you just can’t wait for each successive number to stop so that you can hold that conversation? I often wonder if some bands don’t pump up the volume to prevent the audience from discussing whether they like the music or not. Personally, I like to listen to music at a volume that allows me to converse with my friends without shouting, not to be deafened into submission to fulfill the band’s delusion that I love their music so much that it has rendered me, and everyone else, speechless for the evening.
Everything considered ~ the location, ambience, lighting, service, range of beers on offer, choice of places to perch and, as just appraised, the music ~ the Dreadnought gets the expatriate seal of approval.
But it wasn’t over yet. One of our party, out of the goodness of her heart, had ordered the house specialty for me ~ my very own ‘big gun’ dreadnought. As the photograph shows, the wooden dreadnought model holds a full battery of different flavoured vodkas; large glasses full of them, and all for me at the end of the evening when I’d been drinking beer. The rest of the crew abandoned ship, but, like the good captain that I am, I remained on the bridge ready to do my duty and was quite prepared, if need be, to go down with the ship as the band played on. Sink or float, the following morning I knew I would need a life belt!
Note in the photograph, the thoughtful and conveniently placed fire extinguisher that your friends can put you out with after you’ve overdone it on lashings of chili vodka!
Essential details:
Bar Drednout (Dreadnought Pub) 5 Handel Street Kaliningrad Russia
Tel: +7 (4012) 99 26 06
Opening times: Mon-Thu, Sun: from 12 noon to 12 midnight Fri-Sat: from 12 noon to 3am
Updated 14 September 2021 | first published 6 March 2020 ~ Kaliningrad Cinema
*Please be aware that since this post was first published on 6 March 2020 the Zarya has sadly closed. Perhaps another victim of coronavirus? I have published the edited, updated version as an epitaph to a cultural icon that surely must be missed.
There is only one independent cinema in Kaliningrad*, but it has been showing films since the 1930s. It withstood the conflagration of World War II, making it one of a small but respected fraternity of Königsberg survivors.
There is only one independent cinema in Kaliningrad, but it has been showing films since the 1930s. The Scala cinema, as it was first known, was the last cinema to be constructed in Königsberg. When it opened its doors to the public in 1938, nobody could have imagined that, in less than a decade, the city and the culture of which it was a part would cease to exist.
Unlike its compatriots, the Scala, now Zarya (Dawn), whilst badly damaged in the destruction that engulfed the city in the final months of World War II, escaped the fate of its contemporaries as it did the postwar edict to eradicate as many vestiges of the city’s German heritage as was considered practical, a deliverance that has ensured Zarya a place among the small but time-honoured pantheon of surviving Königsberg buildings.
More recently, the Zarya has undergone an imaginative interior refit: a novel, roots-sensitive makeover that has infused the cinema with new life without sacrificing its historic integrity.
Today, the cinema continues the tradition that it inherited, serving as an invaluable place of social entertainment and as a hub of cultural and artistic promotion.
To accomplish this in the hard-edged cinematographic age of monolithic multiplexes, Zarya has had to progressively reinvent itself by offering thematic events, film festivals and even extending its cultural focus to include interactive gatherings and support for local projects deemed beneficial to the wider community (see Interesting Facts panel).
If I am not mistaken (and I generally am) for a while in its recent history the Zarya cinema shared its glass vestibule with Kaliningrad’s casino, later replaced by a restaurant that in recent months has also closed. But then how accurate am I? Vodka+beer+age = inevitable impaired memory.
Today, it is impossible to stroll past the double-glass frontage of the Zarya without asking yourself what sort of place is it that would have a large, vintage film projector sandwiched between its windows? And after answering wrongly retro shop, you might be inspired to conclude a cinema.
European Film Festival
The day we had chosen to visit the cinema had coincided quite by chance with its hosting of the European Film Festival, a prestigious annual event.
Very kind of them
The red carpet was out; very plush; someone must have telephoned and told them that I was coming, I thought.
My wife thought not.
She explained that the red carpet and the hallway decked out in an imaginative tableau was to celebrate the work of the Belgian surrealist artist René Magritte.
Now stop me if you’ve heard this one before but the composition of which my wife spoke consisted of the following: numerous black bowler hats strung from the ceiling at different levels; a large, black, life-size model of a horse wearing a black lampshade (of course); and on the wall a ceiling-to-floor printed screen bearing repetitive images of numerous men, each one wearing a bowler hat, carrying an umbrella and facing this way and that.
My kind of room: the Zarya cinema, Kaliningrad, Russia
The Son of Man
At the back of this mind-teasing display, in front of the foyer, stood a mannequin rendition of the famous surrealistic painting The Son of Man. He was wearing a black jacket, white shirt and bowler hat and had a green apple suspended where his face should have been and above that pendulous apple a bowler hat on a wire. Makes sense? Perhaps, for you who are old enough, it does, viz ‘an apple a day keeps John Steed away’?
Mick Hart & friend at Zarya Cinema, Kaliningrad, Russia
I must say that the assertive presence of monochrome went well with the cinema’s emphasis on red plush textiles. Against the wall, where the red carpet ended, the low-slung tub-chairs had large spongey cushions upholstered in red material. Their further attraction lay in the fact that they had a definite Art Deco slant to them and that the maroon upholstery struck a balanced contrast with the beech-coloured woodwork that comprised the frames and the backs. Keeping them company, and dotted here and there, was the bar fly’s stool of choice: tall, sturdy, their 1940s’ round-back style consistently upholstered in a thematicising rich red fabric. Rumour has it that these seats are faithful copies of those that would have graced the cinema back in its Königsberg days.
Kaliningrad cinema
There was an awful lot going on visually inside the Zarya foyer and going on mainly in bright red and black: black hats, black horse, black piano, black light fittings.
In the hallway the black light shades jostled for air space with the black bowler hats, and their black cables hung in drop-head clusters (more than enough to give an arachnophobiac nightmares) which gathered at a ceiling rose, again in black. The broad red carpet and maroon-rich chairs intensified the blackness, not sordidly or with menace and by no means effetely but in a modern full-bodied way, somewhere between ostentation and class. Red also asserted itself in the heart-shaped cards with which a man-made (sorry about the UK sexism) bush was bedecked. The bush acted as a ‘visitors book’, the cards adorning it pinned there by numerous satisfied patrons, who wished to express appreciation for their cinematic experience by posting notes of goodwill.
European Film Festival at Zarya cinema, Kaliningrad, Russia
Architecturally, the interior of the building must have passed through various metamorphic permutations from the time it was salvaged from the ruins of Königsberg to its present-day incarnation. I was intrigued by the three or four doorless openings at the back of the room, all in one wall and separated from each other by a few feet only. The exposed but painted brickwork was a welcome sight in a building of this age, and the arches above the doorless openings echoed its heritage status.
Underneath the arches …
Through these venerable apertures, through lighting thoughtfully muted, small glimpses could be garnered of the cinema’s licensed bar and of its alcoholic infusions, posh top-shelf bottles strategically arranged to create the illusion of must-have, do-need in the name of style and image. That there was more shelving than bottles was no mistake or oversight; it allowed this coterie of top-brand liquor the space that it demanded to capture centre stage, like the high-priced prima donnas that its members most certainly are.
Between the wall and shelving, in this semi-open space, a long curving bar presided. The counter was ~ surprise, surprise ~ jet black, and this deep hue, together with the inbuilt shelving, bright red bar stools and discreet lighting gave to the whole a rich swanky opulence but of a kind more readily associated with high-rolling nightclubs than cinema interval-drinking space.
Mick Hart in his natural habitat ~ cinema bar, Zarya cinema, Kaliningrad, Russia
At one end of this prestigious bar, the end where I had stood to have my photograph taken, the walls were covered in monochrome photographs, large pictures of people and lots of faces. I could only imagine that here assembled must be the cinema’s doyens, each one an exclusive personage in his or her respected field of filmography.
Kaliningrad cinema
At the other end of the bar, where there was more space, and in an area where the wall curved beautifully, a drawing room suite, constructed according to the 19th century penchant for walnut-framed divans and chairs, offered fortunate patrons one of a number of close encounters with different eras in which to sit and relax.
Timeless style at the Zarya cinema, Kaliningrad, Russia
My wife, having discovered a large Art Deco figurine typically modelled in the female form, a gilt-metal delight symbolising movement, life and energy, just had to have her picture taken sitting in front of the upright piano on top of which this prized piece sat.
I, too, am an ardent fan of Deco, but I did not want to lose sight of the fact that the reason we had come to the cinema was inspired in part by curiosity but also for light refreshment.
The Zarya is not in the habit of serving meals, but then again why should it? After all, it is not Bill’s Café (do you know it?), but two teas and some snacks to go with them was not beyond the cinema’s remit, and once I had managed to rescue my wife from her inveterate deco addiction, we were shown to a seat in a distant part of the building, the window of which conveniently fronts the street, thus allowing you to snack in style as you watch the world go by.
A most agreeable room
This was a room in which the past and present met on equal terms. There was nothing disagreeable about 19th century reproduction antique furniture rubbing cabriole legs with the sleek profiles of modern black-vinyl seats or ebonised baluster rails used as visual divisions. There was a long wall seat, cushioned, comfortable-looking, running the length of the room, its presence literally overshadowed by a print of imposing proportions, gilt-framed, bold in colour and mounted on the wall above it. The scene depicted in this print has classical Biblical overtones, and I am sure that someone will recognise it from the photograph provided. However, you may encounter a little more difficulty when it comes to identifying its fellow print, since this has been suspended, frame and all, high above the flight of stairs that descends to the auditorium, and suspended close to the ceiling so that the image lies at 90 degrees to the floor.
Kaliningrad cinema Pop Art
A second room, running the entire length of one side of the building and at right angles to where we were sitting, accessible by two or three brick steps but cordoned off on the day we visited by a decorative barrier rope attached to two brass posts, offered tantalising glimpses through its doorless entrance and three or four apertures, which presumably once were windows, of its privacy beyond.
Although our view was limited to what could be seen through the gaps in the wall, there was sufficient visibility to see that the room was bedecked with mirrors, together with lighting sconces, retro advertisements and ceiling-suspended designer lanterns, the latter strung at random levels.
As I have said, this room was cordoned off, but if you don’t ask, you don’t get. And on this occasion, we did ask, and we didn’t get told to … you know.
Hide behind that candelabra whilst I take a photo of this magnificent table
It was a super room to be in, and I liked a particular table. There were three tables of the same kind in total: one at either end of the room we were now in and a third occupying the room in which we had just had tea. The design of the table was simple, striking and slightly anachronistic. It consisted of a fairly narrow light-wood oval top ~ reminding me a bit of a Rich Tea finger biscuit ~ and was raised on end supports of three, tall, inverted baluster-type columns supported on a curved base. These tables must be for standing against, unless you could find a high enough stool.
There was no shortage of things to see on the walls, but the attention seekers and getters were indubitably vintage advertisements, large-format reproduced artworks which completely filled the recessed arches in which they had been placed, most probably former windows, and were accomplished in the style generically known as Pop Art.
Through the large patio doors at the far end of this
room an outside seating area beckoned seductively. She, like the rest of
Kaliningrad, had had her fill of damp mediocrity where winter used to be.
It would have been nice to have settled down for 90 minutes in the cinema’s auditorium, but nowt was showing today with English-subtitles, so there was nothing for it but to quit this eclectic environment and take our chance with the weather, outside once again on the Streets of Kaliningrad (come on film/TV buffs, wasn’t The Streets of Kaliningrad a Quinn Martin production?)
*Please be aware that since this post was first published the Zarya has sadly closed. Perhaps another victim of coronavirus?
Interesting Facts about Zarya cinema [Zarya is a member of the Europa Cinemas network, the first network of cinemas to showcase European films] #In 1997 the World Premiere of Titanic was screened at Zarya. Lead actor James Cameron presented the screening #The European Film Festival was first held at Zarya in the early 2000s and continues to be held there #Zarya has connections with the actor Woody Allen #Zarya has devised and hosted hundreds of festivals, many international #Zarya invented a jazz and silent film fusion creating a film-concert concept #Other novel creations from the Zarya management and team include parties, vinyl record sales and a festival library.
The architect of the Scala cinema building was Siegfried Sassnik, whose work encompassed both residential and commercial projects throughout Königsberg. Two of those projects stand today in the near vicinity of the cinema building: the Moscow hotel and the entrance to the Zoo Park.
Essential Details:
Kinoteatr Zarya 43 Prospekt Mira Kaliningrad 236000
Opening Times Sun-Mon 9am to 12 midnight Fri & Sat 9am to 1am
Auditorium details The cinema has two screening halls: one with 343 seats and the largest 3D-screen in Kaliningrad and a smaller hall where festival films and an arthouse are shown.
A rural recreation centre on the site of an old East Prussian settlement
Published: 23 August 2021 ~ Angel Park Hotel Kaliningrad Region
Our journey took us across country that is conceivably the highest, or the most undulating, in the Kaliningrad region. At one point we thrust ourselves forward in our seats, as if the added motion would assist the locomotion of the 1960s’ Volga car in which we were travelling and help it to climb the hill.
We passed through many small East Prussian hamlets, stopped for a breather in the town of Chernyahovsk (formerly Insterburg) long enough to have our photographs taken in front of the statue of Barclay de Tolly, Commander of the 1st Army of the West, the largest army to face Napoleon.
A few kilometers outside of Chernyahovsk, the first car in our cavalcade made a sharp left turn and the others followed, including us.
We had left the road and were now driving along a hard surfaced but uneven track. From our rearguard position it was a grand sight to see, this line of classic Soviet vehicles weaving in and out and bobbing up and down in an effort to miss the potholes, the summer dust flying from their wheels.
The approach road to our destination was a long one, but every now and then, as if someone had pre-empted discouragement, signs had been posted on the roadside trees informing vehicle occupants of the number of meters left to travel before they reached where they wanted to go and where with patience they would eventually be. And all of a sudden that’s where we were.
Where?
Well, the sign to the right of the entrance told me that this was Angel Park Hotel. I knew that this was no ordinary hotel, that it was part of a complex, a rural retreat tucked away in the heart of the East Prussian countryside, but other than that I had not the foggiest.
The gate through which we had passed had taken us into a carpark but today it was fully occupied. Thus, the line of retro vehicles moved slowly onward with us playing follow the leader, the leader being Yury, the man who had literally pipped us to the post at the Königsberg car rally a few weeks ago. Yury knew the Angel Park Hotel, he had visited it on many occasions, so our presumption was that he knew where he was going.
We bumped along for a few more metres, overgrown landscape on one side and a thicket of trees on the other, before emerging into a large, grassed area, scattered with tents and dotted with gazebos. It appeared that we had arrived.
It is not a man-made entity, the land occupied by and encompassing Angel Park, but a work of art painted by nature.
Angel Park Hotel Kaliningrad Region
The concept around which the Angel Park Hotel has been created is both defined and obscured by the word ‘park’. It is not a park in the municipal sense, laid out in the fashion of benches on either side of straight paths set within vistas of trees and neither does it entirely conform to the country park formula popular in the UK, where disused ground, such as depleted gravel pits and the wasteland that surrounds them, is requisitioned, reclaimed, replanted and then conserved.
On the contrary, the land occupied by Angel Park would appear to hold true to its natural contours: a secluded, sequestered, slightly undulating ground that tapers gently off before falling away abruptly from pronounced banks at the edge of a serpentine river.
At the upper level the park and all that it contains is as good as hidden by a steep grass-covered gradient, one side hemmed in by knolls and bushes, the other by an open, sweeping groundswell of natural foliage. At its lowest level, the river Angrappa cuts a broad winding swathe, its steep banks on the opposite side enveloped by a dense and heady profusion of numerous species of trees, bushes and wild plants. Behind these banks, as far as the eye can see, the land rises steadily, creating a valley below and crowning it above with woodland, the tops of its tall trees reaching up and touching the ark of the sky. It is not a man-made entity, the land occupied by and encompassing Angel Park, but a work of art painted by nature.
We had entered the park at its furthermost point, pulling our cars onto and in line with the edge of the camping area. From this position we were offered much of the view that I have described and, in addition, were able to obtain a better understanding of the park’s facilities, at least in this quarter.
The gazebos, to which I alluded earlier, some hexagonal, some rectangular, some with wooden rooves, some pantiled, are positioned far enough apart to offer group visitors a measure of privacy and personal space. Each gazebo comes with its own custom-built barbecue and is fitted with electric hook-ups for kettles, radios, lighting etc.
In the centre of this arrangement stands a large, partially open-sided barn with enough seats and tables to accommodate a party, perhaps 50 people or more, with plenty of room left for dancing for those who are so inclined.
This building is festooned with all manner of swings and other suspensions, including a giant sized punchbag, certainly enough gizmos to keep children and those who are big kids at heart occupied.
The bank above the river on the park side falls on two levels, and I particularly liked the way that the owners of the park had used this natural feature to build small huts into the banks and build them in such a way that their rooves and smoking barbecue chimneys rise cosily out of the ground.
Angel Park Hotel Sand Embankment & Swimming
The gentle, rolling nature of the landscape backed by judicious tree and shrub planting makes Angel Park the sort of place that inspires an immediate need to explore and no sooner had we arrived than Olga and I decided that we would take a stroll along the river.
Our walk brought us to a section of the riverbank that has been skillfully turned into a beach. Sand replaces grass in a large area where the ground rises and falls quite spectacularly and in whose centre lies a pond, the cone-shaped sides of which make it look like a giant funnel.
The river at this point attracts swimmers, whilst those who would rather watch than participate can lie back literally on one of several chunky wooden recliners overlooking the watery scene below. Barbecue facilities and the odd table or two make for a harmonious arrangement, offering both swimmers and their spectators a thoroughly workable compromise.
Olga, who is a swimmer, was so taken with this place that she advocated that we put it to our party that we relocate here pronto, but that was before we had grasped that each gazebo is hired in advance and that our gazebo was bought and paid for, for the duration of our stay. I had no quarrel with that. A seat, some beer and an excellent view, what more could one conceivably ask for?!
When we returned to our compatriots it was not beer that was on the menu but homemade vodka, so I quaffed some of that instead and, after a bite to eat, and having explored the hinterlands, we set off on foot again to explore the parts of Angel Park hidden from view by the trees.
The careful planting of groups of pines and firs, shrubs and bushes and the wending of pathways through them has created a woven intricacy where every twist and turn reveals something new, something different, something unexpected.
The sign of a confused Englishman
Weatherstone (above): No need to ever consult your mobile phone again about the weather! Angel Park Hotel’s Weather stone can tell you all this and more. It even has a built-in security system to alert you should somebody try to run off with it!
We happened upon various gazebo-style structures and chalets before emerging into the carpark opposite the main gate. Here, to the right of us, nestled among the trees, we discovered the ‘weather stone’ and in front of us a large, semi-open barn able to accommodate about 30 people. I particularly liked the way thinly sliced logs had been used to act as screening within and around this building.
Next door to this is the park’s reception and admin office and above it the restaurant. The restaurant has a wooden balcony offering gazers a pleasing view over a block-paved forecourt, with an accommodation hall to the left and a smaller accommodation unit in the centre. The scene is one of instantaneous tranquility. Whomsoever chose the background music that streams magically across the square like a gentle current of water trickling over a bed of smooth pebbles, must be as tuned to the natural ambience as he who designed the buildings, whose emphasis on softening materials and bygone architectural features compliment the rural setting without upsetting its apple cart.
Angel Park Hotel Accommodation
Most of the buildings at Angel have been imaginatively created and most have an olde-worlde theme. The accommodation block is a case in point, with its half-timbered finish, wooden staircase and eave-sheltered landing deck. The restaurant, largely through its balcony, extending eaves and pan-tiled roof, is pleasingly conformational, each element lending to the other, as well as to those of the surrounding buildings, an air and impression of relaxed rusticity.
The point at which two rivers meet, Angrapa and Pissa, is a place where people go to make a wish. Sergey, the owner of the Angel Park Hotel, recalls that many of his guests have confirmed that the wishes that they have made there have come true. I don’t know what’s happening behind that sign, but I have an idea its just wishful thinking!
Some of the buildings are new and aged by sensitive artifice, others, like the admin and restaurant building and the building in the centre of the square, have been rescued, renovated, built around, preserved and extended. Some, like the small row of wooden shacks that form a little street, which runs from the edge of the square opposite the rabbit hutches, are economy-built but yet possess a provincial charm of their own, and still others, such as the block we stayed in, have what might be called an acquired antiquity thanks to the use of recycled materials and a touch of the past in the stepped gable ends.
The accommodation at Angel Park Hotel ranges from no-frills basic to surprisingly rather plush. If you are going economy you get a little more than a Japanese capsule, but not a great deal more. For example, some of our group had decided that pushing the boat out was not for them but found out later that the harbour in which they were staying was rather small to say the least. An economy room at Angel Park Hotel basically, very basically, consists of a double bed, with single bed above it and a toilet.
To see how the other half would be living, we also took a gander in one of the wooden shacks that I mentioned earlier, where we found a similar set-up, differing only in the sense that one room had been built around the size of a double mattress, the other contained a single bed and between them both was a toilet and wash basin. Clocked from the outside, I could almost get romantic about these little wooden cabins, but romantic is not enough if you don’t like snug.
The good news is, however, that the average cost at the Angel for somewhere to lay your head, if your tenting days are done, is a mere 1500 roubles (15 quid) or, if you’re tenting days are not yet over ~ and mine decidedly are ~ you can pitch a tent at Angel Park for 300 roubles (£3), plus 100 roubles (£1) for each occupant.
Capsules, huts, tents none of these applied to me, as our good friends at the retro club in recognition of my Englishness and on the understanding that I needed somewhere to swing my cravat, and possibly because I am bit long in the tooth ~ long in the what? ~ I said tooth (it’s an expression which means old codger) ~ and having spent a relatively rough life but now in need of a little senior comfort, had seen fit to book my wife and I into one of Angel’s more upmarket rooms.
Our accommodation comprised two rooms in open-plan format with a spacious bathroom. The rooms were well equipped, with a king size double bed, dining table and chairs, a reproduction antique double wardrobe, well-stocked fridge, wall-mounted television and enough space in the upward direction to swing a hundred cravats. Bright, spacious and airy, and better than some four-star hotels that I have frequented, these rooms are the Angel’s Ritz. Their sleek, modern and capacious bathroom also sports a jacuzzi! And what is the difference in price, you ask, between these luxury rooms and the bargain basements? Only 2000 roubles, I gleefully reply, which in pounds sterling equates to £20 (Angel Park Hotel has many different categories of accommodation. For a full appraisal link to their website at the end of this article.)
If this had been England I would be expected to go down on one knee and beg for forgiveness for being so privileged; had it been communist Russia, I would have had to confess to bourgeoise tastes. Instead, I settled in and settled down with my conscience, trying to ignore a Bob Hope echo — the ironical line from the spoof western Paleface, which was: “I wonder what the poor people are doing tonight”!
Angel Park Hotel Restaurant
Budget people or no-budget people, in the evening it was a fait accompli that we and some of our group would meet up in the restaurant.
A large room, capable, I suspect, of holding about 50 diners, Angel’s restaurant benefits from the visual appeal of the pitched roof, angularity of the dorma windows and the boxed supporting framework that holds it all together, all of which are attractive features. When we entered the restaurant, Frank Sinatra was singing, “ … my kinda town …”, and this was my kinda restaurant.
I do not usually go a bundle on pastel décor, but in this setting it helped to amplify the appreciated presence of the old stuff with which the room was blessed. At the top of the winding staircase, a case of deep shelves display a fine collection of vintage typewriters and heavy metal sewing machines by Mr Singer & Co. There is a series of different mincers (not the kind that you find in Brighton) assembled on one of the cross rails, the wall at the far end of the room is besotted with all kinds of clocks and on top of the shelving units, which contain all kinds of mementoes and antiquarian books, I even found a black and white photo of my old friend Stierlitz, the fictional lead from that classic and superb 1970’s Russian TV serial Seventeen Moments of Spring. As I said, ‘my kinda restaurant’. Another plus was that the beer was different and good …
The next morning, not feeling as good as the beer tasted the night before, I was up and out just in time for last call for breakfast. One of our crew had finished breakfast and had also finished a pint of beer. No, I couldn’t!
Angel Park Hotel History
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Timeline of the site on which Angel Park is located
The settlement of Pakalehnen was part of Kraupischkehmen of the Insterburg region (today Chernyahovsk) until 03.06.1938. According to the census in 1933, 85 inhabitants lived on its territory. The owner was August Guddat. He was born in Pakalehnen, cultivated the land and kept cattle. He died during the First World War. To date, August Guddat has more than 300 descendants living around the world.
In 1938, Pakalehnen was renamed Schweizersdorf , meaning ‘Swiss village’.
From 1945 the site became a farm with changing owners until 01.07.2012.
Today, it is a country park – Angel Park Hotel – and has been since 03.07.2013.
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The highlight of today, apart from feeling better as time went on, was when the owner of Angel Park, Sergey Martynov, came out into the courtyard to fill us in on the history of the site where he had brought his vision of Angel Park to life.
It was here that he told us the story of the water and the well (see inset panel) and the impromptu construction of the function room (see inset panel).
The well In the courtyard at the front of Angel’s restaurant and admin building, just to the left, stands a covered well. As part of the renovation and development of Angel Park, Sergey and his family re-opened the well, dredged it and re-dug it. Out of curiosity, Sergey took a sample of the water to be analysed and was amazed when a few weeks later the test results revealed that the water was some of the purest in the former East Prussian region. Later, a large solid silver Roman Catholic crucifix was found at the bottom of the well, causing some to postulate that this could account for the water’s quality. But whether this was because of faith in the age-old belief that silver is a natural water cleanser or faith in something infinitely more arcane, who can readily say?
Angel Park Hotel Function Room
Testifying that his love for history equals that of his love for nature, Sergey showed us the cellar they had unearthed whilst digging the footings for the new function room.
The short winding staircase that leads down into a single arched-roof chamber, all in dark red-brick, is honoured to have had its own above-surface entrance built especially for it, also in red brick, complete with proper door. But why is this subterranean room called ‘Whiskey Bar’?
Whiskey Bar My wife, Olga, emailed Sergey for clarification: Why is the cellar called ‘Whiskey Bar’?
Sergey replied: Good afternoon Olga. It just happened! People sometimes give their own names to places. For example, the Small Bath on the price list is called Small Bath, and we hung a wooden carved sign next to it saying ‘Russian Soft Bath’, but the guests called it Black Bath and the name that was given to it by the guests got stuck, and now we also call it Black Bath ;)))). By the same principle, the guests called the basement ‘Whiskey Bar’. At one point I joked, saying to the women that the cellar is for men only! ~ and this turned the women on so strongly that they became unstoppable in their desire to get in ;)))))). That’s how the playful name got stuck !
There is a project to make a small museum in the basement to display cognac samples produced in Chernyakhovsk (they produce about 25 types today!). If I’m not mistaken, our local Chernyakhovsk factory produces 13% of all the cognac produced in Russia!
The entrance to what Sergey believed was once the cellar of the settlement’s principal domicile has been simply but effectively incorporated into the function room by linking to it with a sloping roof, thus turning what would have been external space into an integral porch or even an outside smoking room.
The function room Angel Park Hotel’s function room is a gem: bright, airy, atmospheric and with the capacity to cater for 150-people. Its original Art Deco bar was rescued from a condemned hotel in Germany and shipped to the former East Prussian territory, where it now holds pride of place. Judging by the quality of this building you would naturally think that a lot of time and planning went into its placing, design and construction, but you would be wrong. Time was limited and of the essence. According to Sergey, the owner of Angel Park, the gestation period from conception to construction, including putting the finishing touches to the interior and the ground around it, was less than nine months. This was because someone who was interested in holding their wedding reception at Angel Park, whilst more than satisfied with the location, noted that the upstairs restaurant could only accommodate 50 guests, whereas they required a hall for 150 people. After a brief discussion and the fee for the party agreed, the potential client suggested that Sergey should build a function room for them. Sergey proposed that if they were willing to pay a deposit to meet the costs of the party (a percentage of the £150 hiring fee!) in advance, he would give it his best shot. And less than nine months later, his ‘in for a penny, in for a pound’ style of entrepreneurship gave Angel Park a brand-new function room, which was christened by its first marriage in August as planned.
At the rear of the function room, a double set of doors opens up onto a secluded patio. On the other side of this, partially obscuring the view beyond, stands an ancient linden tree, whose outspread bough shaped like an arch could have been custom made for Angel Park and its weddings. Adorned with a white veil and lights, the novel shape of the linden tree’s bough adds a photogenic and romantic touch for newlyweds on their special day and passing beneath it the experience only gets better.
Mick Hart & Olga Hart beneath the linden tree
On the other side, a few steps away, from a viewing platform purpose built for the eminence there, the most magnificent view presents itself high above the winding river and out across a blissful landscape that must over many years have captured the hearts and minds of countless generations.
Sergey Leonidovich Martynov’, owner of Angel Park, with Mick & Olga Hart & members of the Kaliningrad Retro Car Club
Treasure, I thought; “gift!” said Sergey, and in the same breath touched upon the other-worldly, the positive energy with which this magical East Prussian landscape has been blessed.
Of the many special moments of this weekend, the two that will remain with me are when we were standing in the courtyard listening to Sergey recounting the history of the land before and after he bought it, and when we passed beneath the linden tree.
In the courtyard, references to the lost German village, to its people and to the profusion of relics belonging to that vanished world which are continually being unearthed and in such prodigious quantities that they could fill ‘two or three museums’, along with other time-portentous tales, wafted around our semi-circle of listeners like wisps of smoke from a fire still burning somewhere in the past. With the sun shining down upon us and the soft music rippling from the park’s external speakers, I was struck by a mystical tone that is far harder to describe than it will ever be for me to forget.
The second unerasable memory was when I passed beneath the linden tree to that glorious view on a glorious day: the river winding and snaking below, a sparkling ribbon of movement and light, and the banks on its opposite side rich with trees and foliage.
I remember Sergey saying that for newlyweds the act of passing beneath the linden arch into the grandeur beyond symbolised the new beginning in their lives.
Looking back at the linden tree, with its arched carved out by nature, I wondered about the nuanced meanings this ancient tree had possessed for the people of the past and the part it had played in their changing lives and fortunes. How fascinating it would be to play it all back slowly, peeling away at the layers of time over each successive moment.
There was a slight breeze, it carried across the river, brushed through the hair of the people sitting on the viewing platform and came to rest in the linden tree behind us. On it I heard the voice of Victor Ryabinin reminding me, “I told you that this region was a special place, it drew me into it as it has drawn countless people …”
It added me to its list a long time ago, and having met and spoken with Sergey Martynov I have no doubt that he has been inducted also.
Come to Angel and join the club.
Angel Park site 2014
Sergey Leonidovich Martynov’s Story of Angel Park
Angel Park
The Angel Park Hotel and its grounds, or, as his family call it, ‘The village for spoilt city dwellers!’, is the result of Sergey Martynov’s personal vision, which was to restore and recreate the old settlement, breathe new life into it and form a recreation centre for families in the east of the Kaliningrad region.
Angel Park site 2021
Sergey Martynov, Angel Park’s inspiration and owner, recounts: When we arrived in the region in 2012 there were few places of entertainment for children and families in rural areas. In fact, few exist today.
Our plans were and are to build a dozen more houses and cottages in the style of rural Prussia and restore the Walfrieden Mud Clinic on the site of the Angel, the medicinal properties of which were known far beyond the borders of Eastern Prussia until 1944.
Every year we build at least one building and make improvements to the site.
We bought the settlement in 2012 and began restoring it in 2013. The picture below shows the only surviving building, if you can call the five walls of the barn a building, which in the past was used by 120 native villagers.
Wherever possible, we try to preserve the old style and the old materials of the buildings we restore and recreate. For example, the roof of the building in the photograph below and its walls are built from old bricks and pantiles.
The cellar, pictured here, is preserved in its original condition.
The pictures below show the gradual evolution of Angel Park from when we bought the land and first arrived here to how it looks today.
Nature, assisted by the new owners of the old settlement, create a corner in paradise:
Essential details:
Angel Park Hotel 238158, Kaliningrad region Chernyakhovsky district 92nd km of Gusevskoye highway A229
Food festival in the grounds of Königsberg Cathedral
Published: 17 May 2021 ~ Kaliningrad Street Food Festival
On 9th May, after honouring Victory Day by paying our respects at the Mass Grave of Soviet Soldiers and the Monument to 1200 Guardsmen, we were driven by our hosts, Arthur and Inara, to the street food fair, held this Easter in the sculptured parkland and cobbled grounds of Königsberg Cathedral.
Kneiphof Island, as this area was once known and now more commonly referred to as Kant’s Island for the very good reason that it is the historic resting place of the great German philosopher Kant with whose name it is eponymous, has undergone a series of successful gentrification programmes over the past few years, making its long, broad thoroughfare, which stretches from the Trestle Bridge on one side to Honeymoon Bridge on the other, the perfect place for cultural events.
Tourists and the majority of Kaliningradians approve but, as in every sphere of life, pleasing all of the people all of the time is as unobtainable as the Holy Grail, and the food fair, as well as other events held in this vicinity, is not without detractors, its critics arguing that the proximity of the cathedral and the hallowed ground on which it stands should prohibit such acts of sacrilege.
I personally do not hold with this. Reincarnation, as in the case of Königsberg Cathedral as much as in any other, is about breathing new life into something that would otherwise cease to exist, and the historical Phoenix that Königsberg Cathedral most assuredly is, is a good enough argument in my books for holding events nearby that celebrate life and, whilst I myself do not go in for Facebook snapshots of plates of grub, most people would agree that food and drink plays a not insignificant part in celebrating life or is, at the very least, a rather indispensable ingredient of it ~ something very much up there with oxygen and sunlight.
Thus, silently mediating between the cultural polemics by which my actions were guided, I was able to wend my way without a sullied conscience, heading towards the food fair by way of the riverside walk that fronts Kaliningrad’s ‘Fishing Village’ ~ an attractive architectural fantasy of swish hotels and well-appointed restaurants that has nothing to do with fishing but a lot to do with tourism.
Kaliningrad Street Food Festival
Someone, I believe it was my wife, suggested that we rest our weary bones at one of the outside tables and take light refreshment before going on to the fair. This was an odd idea considering that over the other side of Honeymoon Bridge there was about forty or fifty food stalls. But wives, as you know, know best …
Kaliningrad Fishing Village ~ on our way to Kaliningrad Street Food Festival
The first mistake was quickly followed by the second, which was that the spot we had chosen was firmly in the shade and subject to strong gusts of wind; the second mistake was the restaurant/café itself. Foodwise, it had not been a good choice, even for snack standards, although I did enjoy my pint of Leffe!
You might infer that having crossed Honeymoon Bridge we would be plunged into the troubled world of real life, but this was not the case.
Mick Hart with Inara: Honeymoon Bridge,Kaliningrad
Mick Hart & Olga Hart in front of Königsberg’s New Synagogue
The continuous row of brightly coloured stalls and milling crowds was a sight for sore self-isolating eyes, a coronavirus-contagious nightmare for your mask-wearing six-foot distancers, but for me, today, a much-needed carnival atmosphere ~ a cornucopia of pleasing sights, foot-tapping sounds and sizzling smells ~ or, as I put it earlier, a celebration of life.
Kaliningrad Street Food Festival
The pink stalls with their colourful, whacky wallpapered fronts, looked well in the sunlit environs, with the hefty walls of Königsberg Cathedral acting as their backdrop. There was food galore, which was not a bad thing for a food festival, but this being Russia it was a foregone conclusion that most of it would be meaty. For vegetarians such as myself, options are rather limited.
Unphased, since I am a ‘baked beans on toast’ sort of person anyway, there was nothing for it but to turn my attention to the beer they had on offer.
Olga discovered one stall selling warm beer; not warm as in ‘Ugh my beer is warm’ (an ironic grumble in England where everyone seems to have forgotten that beer is supposed to be served at room temperature), but warm in the sense of heated. Being nothing but adventurous ~ where beer is concerned, that is ~ I sampled some of this, and I must admit that, contrary to my bigotry, I found it remarkably palatable.
Mick Hart samples heated beer at Königsberg Cathedral Food Fair
At the corner of the pedestrian walk where the cobbled street widens to form the plaza at the front of the cathedral, a group of vintage vehicles were on display, among which was our friend’s, Arthur’s, Volga.
Speciality warm beer, vintage cars, good company & Königsberg Cathedral: Food Festival Kaliningrad 2021
To the right, the one-time silver refreshment caravan in the shape of an American diner has been replaced by a permanent parade of gift and refreshment cubicles and even a proper restaurant. Again, some people criticise, but I like them. They reflect Königsberg Cathedral’s increasing popularity as a tourist destination and are just enough and not too much.
At this point in the cathedral grounds the land rises, and it is necessary to climb a brief flight of steps to ascend to the higher and wider concourse, on either side of which today food stalls took pride of place.
The variety of food on offer was really quite astonishing, so much so that you would have to be suffering from indigestion, experiencing an attack of consummate vegetarianism, or just being rather peculiar should you not be able to find yourself something to sink your choppers into.
As I fall into at least one of those compromised categories, I continued to stay on the beer, which, like its solid counterpart, offered incomparable sustenance of a most diverse and most diverting kind.
All of a sudden standing went out of fashion. It was fortunate, therefore, that the municipal makeover of our immediate vicinity had pre-empted this condition, a contingency not found wanting in the number, style and seating capacity of the scrolled and slat-back benches dotted around the park.
Being difficult as well as vegetarian ~ same thing? ~ I immediately ignored these, and we eventually came to rest on the well-thought-out and positioned wooden steps that aligns the seated with the magnificent facade of Königsberg Cathedral.
Mick Hart & Olga with Arthur (feeding himself) on the steps in front of Königsberg Cathedral (May 2021)
From this spot we refused to move (OK, I refused to move) for the rest of the afternoon, with the exception of forays for food and beer ~ Oh, and Olga’s impulse purchase of a silver and amber ring (good job my beer requirement was not overstretching our budget!)
Said Olga, whilst we were sitting where we were sitting: Have you noticed how the front of Königsberg Cathedral has an unreal aspect about it? It has an ethereality, a lightness that most ecclesiastical buildings do not possess. Cathedrals in general have a formal and officiating presence, commanding deep and unquestionable reverence, but this cathedral seems to hang in the air ~ to float. Now remember, it was Olga saying this and not my beer, but was it the beer that made me respond that it looked from our perspective as if the cathedral could have been drawn on the natural canvas donated by this calm and relaxing day by our friend and artist Victor Ryabinin?
Some things you can never be sure of and others even less so, but one thing we agreed on was that Kaliningrad’s food festival had given us plenty of food for thought.
Published: 7 May 2021 ~ See 1930s Buick at Fort XI Kaliningrad
On the 29 April 2021, my wife, Olga, and I were invited to attend the Kaliningrad Retro Car Club’s classic car rally, which was being held at Fort XI (Fort Dönhoff), the best preserved fort of Königsberg’s outer defensive circle. I wrote about Fort Dönhoff in an earlier post, and one of the attractions of revisiting it was to see to what extent it had developed in terms of restoration and as a regional tourist attraction.
Needles to say, whilst there we snapped a good many photographs, both of the fort itself and of the cars exhibited.
One car that we photographed was not included in the photographic ensemble depicted in my last post, as it is not, as far as I can ascertain, owned by a member of the Retro Car Club and, besides, it is such an unusual vehicle to be stationed in this part of the world that I think that it deserves a post of its own.
See 1930s Buick at Fort XI Kaliningrad
As you will see from the photographs provided, the car in question is a 1930s’ American Buick ~ a must for anyone fascinated with early-to-mid 20th century American automobiles and the history of the period from the prohibition to the pre-war era.
I confess that I haven’t done my background work on this vehicle, but I am sure that there are any number of vintage automobile enthusiasts out there who will know exactly what model it is and its year of manufacture (most likely 1938?).
I did ask one of the Kaliningrad Retro Car Club members and received the indignant snort that “it [the car] is only a shell!” From which I understood that it is minus its engine. But even so, what a shell!
Posing next to it I wished I had worn my 1930s’ suit and Fedora and that I had retained a 1920s’ Thompson submachine gun from the days when I dealt in that sort of thing (deactivated, of course!). But without these props it was gratifying enough to be told that with the car in the background my wife and I could pass for Bonnie and Clyde.
Hmmm, I’m not sure whether our flatterer meant that we looked like the Bonnie and Clyde or the owners of Bonny’s Chip Shop in the Port of Barrow near Clyde?
But what the heck! Even a back-handed compliment is better than no compliment! And anyway, who could hope to upstage such an epoch-making vehicle as this!
1930s Buick at Fort XI
See 1930s Buick at Fort XI Kaliningrad
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Essential details:
Fort XI Dönhoff Ulitsa Energetikov Kaliningrad Kaliningrad Oblast 236034
Opening times: The fort is open every day: Summer from 10am to 6pm; Winter from 10am to 5pm
Admission: 300 roubles Discount tickets 150 roubles (pupils and students, retirees, veterans of the Great Patriotic War, the disabled) Free admission for children under 7 years old
Sightseeing tours: Tours are provided free of charge On weekdays tours take place daily at 11am, 1pm, 3pm and 5pm At weekends and holidays at 11am 12 noon, 1pm, 2pm, 3pm, 4pm and 5pm Approximate duration of tour is one hour For groups of more than 10 people, advanced booking is required. Tel: +7 401 239 0699
Diary of a Self-isolator: Day 394 [12 April 2021] And what has all this got to do with coronavirus and self-isolation?
Published: 12 April 2021 ~ Spring Brings People Out in Kaliningrad
With the temperature shooting up to a ‘very nice spring day’ 18 degrees, my wife, Olga, had no difficulty persuading me to walk to the central market with her, even though I had consumed four or five refreshing pints of vaccine the previous evening.
As we left the house for the cobbled streets of Königsberg, the birds were singing and, if the neighbours two houses away would only fit their dog with a silencer, we would possibly have heard them.
After a long, hard winter it was delicious to be able to walk down the quiet backstreets, stopping now and again to have a good old gawp, which you do as you get older, at the splendid German houses that line this particular route.
The last time I did something like this in the UK, an elderly lady appeared on the doorstep of her house and asked if we were ‘casing the joint’. My brother replied that we were admiring the architecture, that we only robbed places at night and was she at home this evening?
No such awkward questions were fired at us today, and all we had to contend with was blue snowdrops, lots of them, inside and outside of gardens looking extremely pretty.
Spring brings people out in Kaliningrad
Our route to the city market took us along the lakeside (pond side, if you are a Königsbergian purist). The sun, warmth and dry weather had brought the good citizens of Kaliningrad out in droves, and Olga, who is a staunch anti-mask wearer, was happy to observe that the majority of the populace had exchanged their ‘muzzles’ for happy smiles and the priceless humanity of unfettered facial expression.
Youth Park ~ the city’s amusement park ~ was in full swing, and the children’s play area on the bank of the lake was packed to the gills with happy cavorting children, the skateboarding and roller-blading enclosure was by no means idle and in the nearby exercise arena a man was obviously so grateful not to be in lockdown that it was all he could do not to stand on his head.
It’s good to be outside!!
Just as I had hoped, the good weather had also brought out the traders and selling public at the city’s flea market, a junk addicts paradise, which should it exist in boot fair-obsessed Britain, that is before the Covid curfews and restrictions, it would be absolutely mobbed.
Serviced by a parking lane that backs onto a stretch of pavement located just before the pedestrianised avenue that leads to the market proper, the pitches, stalls and blankets of this collectors’ cornucopia fan out across the hills and hollows beneath the trees of a long, broad bank, an erstwhile rampart that follows the line of the moat opposite one of Königsberg’s distinctive red-brick forts. This bank can be a muddy Somme when it rains but was thankfully dry today.
I stopped for a while to lust over the dug-up medals and badges that had once ennobled the members of Hitler’s Third Reich, but before I could commit myself to spending more cash than I should, Olga had steered me off, away from the trader community into the general public bargain zone, and before long was trying on a jacket suspended from a tree, urged on by a stout babushka keen to make a sale, whose many other clothing wares were spread across the ground on top of several covers.
The coat was either too small or too big, so this turned out to be a no-sale, but by the time we had traversed the length of the bank, running the gauntlet of the numerous sellers, where once we had no bags we now were carrying four.
Within these bags nestled two interesting bottles, both harking back to the days when this city was Königsberg: one bearing the city’s original name and the other purchased because of its unusual triangular shape and Bakelite top. As with many bottles produced at the turn of the twentieth century and, indeed, throughout the years leading to World War II, both of these bottles were attractively embossed with script, typically identifying either the contents, manufacturer and location of the business and very often all three.
Mick Hart with bottle ~ unusual in that it does not contain beer
As a former dealer in items of antiquity, my interest in these humble retail and household products had diminished over the years, simply because in the course of my work I handled so many of them, but my passion for these relics of social history had recently been rekindled when, emerging from a tour of Königsberg Cathedral, our host and friend Vladimir Chilikin introduced us to a purveyor of vintage bottles who was selling his wares on the bridge nearby. Life without junk is at least three things: impossible, unlivable and uncluttered. So, my wife, sympathetic to and an accomplice in my addiction, decided that she would treat me to a Königsberg souvenir, and now you can no longer say that I haven’t got the bottle.
On the subject of old and interesting, we had left home this morning not purely to stretch our legs but to collect a piece of vintage embroidery that someone was framing for us. Unfortunately, the framing shop was closed, but no matter, this simply meant that we would not have so much to carry as we made our way to Flame, our pre-Covid watering hole, situated in front of the lake.
Although the thought of a lunchtime aperitif, a liquid one, did cross my mind ~ junk and beer go so well together ~ I exercised restraint. One should be wise at my age (cough), and besides, when we returned home, I had the final pages of a dissertation to edit.
Spring brings people out in Kaliningrad
We had gone to Flame expecting to find that the outside seating had been reinstated, but it was obviously deemed too early in the year for this, so if we wanted to eat outside we would have to find a bench. We could have eaten inside, but distancing and the heartbreaking avoidance of restaurants and bars continues to be our enduring concession to coronavirus caution.
We found some unoccupied seating on the circular paved area that fronts the newly opened swimming pool and sauna, which is anchored off the side of the lake. It is a curious affair: a T-shaped, lightweight structure fitted with a central dome consisting of stretched fabric or vinyl over triangulated sections of tubular steel.
As Flame was as busy as it had been in the pre-coro era, our takeaway lunch would take 20 to 30 minutes to arrive, which was no hardship. Whilst waiting, we had two cups of excellent coffee and just chilled out, or should that be in today’s favourable temperatures warmed up?
Mick Hart & Olga Hart, Kaliningrad April 2021
The easy-listening jazz wafting from Flame’s external hi-fi speakers, complemented the meditative mood. Whenever I hear it, I am filled with wonder. Who is it who plugs Flame into the 1970s? I half expect Jim Rockford of 1970s’ Rockford Files fame to come strolling round the corner. Hi Jim!
It was a beautiful atmosphere on the lake front today. The droves had almost turned into a crowd, and everyone walked, talked and behaved as people do when spring first arrives. You can sense it ~ that one long collective sigh of relief: winter is rolling over at last.
We stayed put on our hospitable bench for a good forty minutes. Opposite, three girls were sketching and painting. Whenever I see people painting or drawing in Königsberg, I cannot help but see and feel the presence of Victor Ryabinin.
On walking back homeward we stopped in an area where the lakeside path expands to look and listen for a while to a couple of young musicians playing saxophones. The music they were playing captured and inspired the harmonics of the occasion in this favourite location of ours, on this soft, tranquil, kind and contemplative day.
Diary of a Self-isolator: Day 365 [14 March 2021] Anniversary of self-isolating in Kaliningrad
Congratulations to who, exactly? To WHO? Today marks my first anniversary of self-imposed self-isolation ~ of sorts. Three hundred and sixty-five days of watching where I go and who is standing three hundred and sixty degrees front, sides and back of me. Have I passed the test? And, if so, for whom and for what? And what should my reward be? A diploma in philanthropic consideration for my fellow man (no sexism intended) or a degree with honours in credulous compliance. Let History be my judge! And, of course, be yours as well!
Quite frankly, apart from this milestone, there is not a great deal to report about coronavirus here in Kaliningrad, Russia, certainly not about lockdown as there isn’t one. Everything in Kaliningrad appears to be functioning as normal and the only concession that I can see to coronavirus is the mask-wearing thing. And even then, I have noticed that the percentage of people wearing muzzles, as my wife refers to them, has diminished in the past few weeks.
A mask-wearing enforcement policy continues to operate on public transport, as I witnessed a couple of days ago, when a thoroughly inebriated fellow, who had been celebrating International Women’s Day (no gender discrimination here in Russia!), refused to put on his mask whilst travelling by bus. The young bus conductor did his level best to prosecute the law thanklessly handed down to him, but vodka is a wily opponent and the recalcitrant drunk would eventually fall off at the stop of his choice, still maskless but no less gracious, for even in his triumph of the common man over authority he chose not to stick up an offensive finger but holding up two thumbs saluted International Women’s Day as the bus full of masks roared off.
Running out of kitchen cabinets in the UK
Whilst almost everybody that I have spoken to here in Russia are of one mind: they consider lockdown to be a step too far, I cannot help but feel that Western governments do not approve. Not that anybody here cares a fig about them, but it is a point of interest that whatever the West prescribes the presumption is that the world should follow, even if its example runs counter to the common good. But that is the way that global liberalism works: in their language it is ‘intervention’ but you naughty cynics might want to refer to it as globalist interference. In the UK, it is not enough to say, “We don’t do lockdown!” because you have no choice. And even were you to add, “because there is no real proof that lockdown really works, but there is plenty of evidence to suggest that it does more harm than good”, you still do lockdown because this, presumably, is the democratic way?
It is the epitome of irony that given the official mortality figures for coronavirus in the UK, lockdown has become, at least for liberals, not just a law but a religion ~ Woe betide anybody who questions its logic or the controversial efficacy of sticking a piece of cloth on your face.
Western authorities are sensitive to the fact that many of the methods chosen to combat coronavirus have no empirical evidence with which to back them up, which accounts for their pique when other countries try different approaches that are no less effective than their draconian measures and arguably equal or better.
Thus, we find in the world’s press recently an unsavoury little piece in which it is claimed that the coronavirus situation here in Kaliningrad is far in excess of what it is claimed to be.
The article to which I refer was published by a media enterprise which checks out on mediabiasfactcheck as ‘Left’:
“These media sources are moderately to strongly biased toward liberal causes through story selection and/or political affiliation. They may utilize strong loaded words (wording that attempts to influence an audience by using appeal to emotion or stereotypes), publish misleading reports and omit reporting of information that may damage liberal causes. Some sources in this category may be untrustworthy.”
This is the same media source which suppressed information about the coronavirus situation becoming so appalling in the UK that the Co-op was running short of coffins.
I can report that I have been in touch with one of my brothers, who is a carpenter and cabinet maker by trade, and he has verified this shortage. Apparently, a UK government department asked him to convert the fitted kitchens, which he has been making in his living room, into caskets. Lockdown prohibits him from using his workshop so he has to work from home, and anyway because of lockdown no one has jobs and cannot afford to buy kitchens. As he has not sold anything for 12 months, he is only too keen to comply, but I am yet to be convinced that a send-off in a converted kitchen cupboard made from MDF complete with plastic handles will ever catch on. No doubt we shall hear more in due course from the reliable leftist media source that I mention in this article. (I have withheld the name of the media outlet so as to protect the gullible.)
These are the coronavirus case figures for Kaliningrad, 14 March 2021, since the beginning of the pandemic*: 29,294 cases of coronavirus identified in the region 26,863 people have recovered 328 deaths.
